AI: The Rolling Stoops

::opening two Dove chocolates & refilling Diet Dr. P::  One says "Share a kind word" (nah) and the other says "Give yourself to someone who needs you"  (hmmm...maybe later).

::stretching fingers::   Ready?

Ok, first of all, I need to be honest with you here & tell you I'm not a fan of The Rolling Stones.  I went through a major Beatles phase beginning in the 5th or 6th grade and tapering off in college and I was obsessed with The Doors for a good chunk of my adolescence as well, but The Stones?  No.  Never.    As the show began tonight Gty goes, "I think you're gonna see how many Rolling Stones songs you actually do like tonight."  I hate/love to say it, but he was dead wrong.  I don't like any of these songs and had only heard, like, three of them before.    I like to think this gives me a unique perspective though.  No comparing to the original and all that nonsense. 

Second of all, who cares anyway, right?  You don't come here for my musical expertise anyway.

Let's move on.

BigMike

"Miss You"

Let's talk about his intro video.  These are often my favorite parts of the whole performance.  This one, an in depth interview with Mike's wife, made me start to wonder why we never heard a peep out of Kris Allen's wife.  I mean, obviously AI isn't opposed to wifey interviews so what'supwitdat??  I'm thinking they didn't want to remind America Kris was married cuz he was so cute.  But with BigMike they're like, "He coached his wife to push over the phone as she gave birth fhs.  Let's put her on screen.  Plus, no teenage girl is screaming for him anyway."  As for his performance, it was very Jennifer Hudson.  Watch it again.  You'll see it.  Lotsa lips and stuff.  I'm tiring of his falsetto but he did fine.   The Ryan/Simon stuff is so played.  This show isn't about them.  Why haven't the producers mentioned this in their staff meetings?

Double D

"Play With Fire"

Boring, supportive Mom stuff in her video.  Nothing I haven't heard and seen before.  Did you notice that when DD talks her teeth don't quite close all the time?  I bet she'd make a brilliant ventriloquist (I just spelled that right on the first try, suckah!!).  Performance wise I thought she was good but I'm not sure I like this side of my little Double D.  Broody & dark are not what I'm looking for.  I appreciate what she is trying to do in showing different sides of herself but I prefer her with her guitar and being a little moody as opposed to this.  She can only do so much with Rolling Stones week, I guess.

Casey

"It's All Over Now"

He was brain damaged as a kid?  Or almost brain damaged?  I didn't quite catch that.  Somehow brain damage came up though.  I like this kind of feel from him way more than the straight up country crap he was kickin' last week.  He's obviously in the Gifted & Talented program with his guitar.  I guess I'm just wondering what he's smiling about all the time.  It's constant.  Start noticing it.  Let's see if he smiles every performance cuz it's been every performance so far.  And Ellen's "people like me" joke was funny but now I'm guessing there were some parents who had to explain what was so funny to their kids.  Sounds like a fun convo to have in the middle of AI, doesn't it?   PS Simon made no sense.  He was making up stuff just to have something to be critical about.  Use the stage more??  How?  His microphone is on a stand and his hands are occupied with his guitar.  Doyeee.

Kate+8

"Ruby Tuesday"

Pastor parents.  Texas.  Supportive family.  Blah blah blah.  I officially declare, in this blog post, that I cannot stand Lacey.  Her voice is awful!!  It's like, not even her real voice!  Ugh.  And she kept sliding into all her notes "gooooodbye ruuuuby tuuuesday"  (<---sing that sliding into each note, k?).  She does nothing for me.  I may have just dubbed her my nemesis.  And what was she wearing?  Some kind of off the shoulder striped t-shirt with a ruffly corset and a puffy skirt?  You're trying too hard, Kate.  Way too hard.

Andy

"Give Me Shelter"

Best family video ever!!  "I always thought he'd be a custodian cuz he collected keys."  Oh my gosh.  Love his adorable gangsta parents.  The performance was interesting, that is fo sho.  I didn't love it, but I liked it.  He's trying new things.  Feelin' it out, you know?  Randy, shutty.  Love you Ellen.  Kara: you and your connection-to-the-song crap is bugging me more than your normal stupid stuff.  Love you Simon.  "Should he have come out with a tank?"  ::giving Kara the "srsly, you idiot" look::

Alzheimer's

"Wild Horses"

Wow.  She sucked as an 8 year old.  Thank goodness she is here now to "put Connecticut on the map" because no one had ever heard of CT before.  And there is dear old granny.  I've missed her.  Did you know she has Alzheimer's and is old?  It's true.  The nemesis spot isn't officially wrapped up with Lacey because Katie is keeping it interesting.  She's so boring and so lame that I just can't decide who bugs me more.  The only problem with Katie is that she can actually sing so she might stick around a lot longer than Lacey.  I wish wild horses would drag her away.

LuckyDuck

"Under My Thumb"

Ten kids in his family and ONE shower.  I cannot imagine how filthy that shower must have gotten all the time.  No signs of Mormonism around his house and, oh, dang...he's wearing a cross.  Oh well.  I still like Catholics, just not as much as Mormons.   Here is a perfect example of where my ignorance was bliss.  I'd never heard this song before so I liked the reggae stuff he put in there at the end.  He's not amazing or anything, but definitely entertaining and I don't mind looking at him.   He keeps it interesting too.  One week he's terrible, the next great.  This week so-so but enjoyable.

Shiovaan

"Paint It Black"

Her parents are exactly as I had imagined a glassblower's apprentice to have.   A couple of hippies.  I guarantee they recycle.  This performance was creepy, in a good way.  Chilling.  She scares me.  I can almost say with 100% certainty that she's Wiccan.  I think that's the Grim Reaper there tattooed on her arm but I couldn't get a clear shot of it on the TV.  I thought she looked great tonight.  Prom dress, army boots, movie star hair...loved it.   In the "some are gonna love it, some are gonna hate it" category, I loved it.

Flem

"Beast of Burden"

Dang.  I was hoping they'd talk about what got him sent to that "alternative high school"/step down from juvvy.  I'm guessing he had issues due the the fact that his Dad is still in the closet.  Being raised by a gay man in denial has to do things to your psyche.  Maybe he took up graffiti to cope?  Stole a car?  Started a meth lab?  See, I must know.  My imagination is getting away from me here.   I thought it was a pretty good performance this evening.  He took a song from '78 and brought it up to about '95 with his Hootie & the Blowfish-esque interpretation.  But I agree with Simon.  His personality is lacking.  He didn't understand a couple of the questions Ryan asked so maybe hims not so smart either.  He's cute tho.  And I like him.

ColoringPaige

"Honky Tonk Woman"

Dad was paralyzed and died when she was four?  Why are we just hearing about this now?  Didn't anyone tell her America loves a good sob story?  Instead she has decided to rocks the onesies even more than Jermaine did.  WHO told her to wear a shorts jumpsuit?  Who?  I can't even tell you how she sang the song because that outfit distracted me so much.  She has no business, No. Business. wearing that thing.  Yikes.

Archy2

"Angie"

Ok.  I get it now.  He was ADOPTED by his aunt which is why he insists on calling her his mom.  I gotcha.  That was confusing.  I loved it when he was like "I'm the only one who sings in my family.  I don't know where I got it from cuz my Mom can't sing!"  Um... someone explain to him how genes work plz.  Auntmom's voice has nothing to do with yours, Archy.   Sorry.  I'm also sorry for how much I don't like this kid.  I should.  He's adorable (in a baby way, not a hawt way).  He's nice.  His hair looked way better this week.  He just doesn't do it for me.  I found it boring.  The judges go out of their way to prop this kid up and I'm still trying to understand why.  Maybe Ryan wants to keep him around because he feels tall standing next to him?  It's the only thing I can come up with.

Dreads

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"

Elliston, OH, as it turns out, is only about 35 minutes from where I used to live in Perrysburg, OH.  I don't know what this means for you, exactly, but I wanted to point it out anyway.  Her dad was cute.  Was there any mention of a mother?  I may not have been paying close attention during her video intro.  But she took that song and Melissa Ethridged the heck out of it, didn't she?  Thank goodness she spared us her neck brace harmonica.  I can't stand that thing.  She did a great job tho.  No complaints here.  She even looked kinda pretty with her dreads pulled back and some nice makeup on.


The Contest

So that's it for the recaps/commentary.  Now, for the contest.  It officially starts this week.  Last week was just warm-ups--our equivalent of looking into a box.  I needed to see how many would be interested, after all.  And now I think we have enough to make it interesting.   Please please please join in.  Anyone & everyone is welcome!  The more the merrier, is what I always say.  I don't even care if I don't know you.  Leave your picks here.  We could become BFFs!

Here is how it will work.  Each week, anytime after the performances and before the results show (cut off at 5pm MST so you east coasters can't cheat) you may submit who you think will be eliminated that week.  From now on it will only be one person each time.  You can submit your pick in the comments of this blog post, via Facebook, text, email, calling me on the phone, carrier pigeon, whatever.  After this season of AI is over, I will look to see who has picked the most correct eliminations throughout.  This person will be crowned OUR American Idol 2010.  There will be a prize.  And it will be somewhere in the "oh, cool" to "awesome" range.  But the pride of winning will far exceed the monetary value of whatever I come up with.  And you can bet an entire post will be dedicated to you, fawning over your great achievement.   

Everyone got it?

I look forward to hearing from you each week.  Feel free to leave your reasoning behind your pick as well so we can agree or agree to disagree. Or not.  No pressure.

This week I'm going with ColoringPaige.  I agree with Simon...she's made no connection to anyone.  And her jumpshorts didn't help. 

Your turn.