Wednesday, April 20, 2011

AI: 21st Century

I must address that opening number from the cast offs.

::said in british accent like Simon::  What.  Was.  That?   Abysmal with a capital A.

Why did they feel the need to put us through that?  First of all, I had all but forgotten every single one of them.  Three of the girls I didn't even recognize, let alone remember their names.  And Paul.  Oh PAUL.  Wha?  The only words he even knew were "I wanna start a fight!" at the end.  The rest he just mumbled.  Off key.  Terrible.  

K, let's hop to it.  It's late.

Swingin' by LeAnn Rimes

Good: the low part.  His deep voice is a force to be reckoned with.  So glad they mocked the way he holds his mic, btw.

Bad Stuff:  The eyebrow waggling.  Why must he?  Stop it.  He's a 50 year old trapped in a 17 year old's body.

Whatever Stuff:  Yes, it was "safe" but if that's not the very word that describes country music then I don't know what is.  Country music panders to the lowest common denominator in this country.  Not to generalize here but I'm talking rednecks, back woods honkey tonks and white trash.   Ha!  I kid.  (not really tho)  What I'm saying is there are no unsafe country songs.  Try and name one.... see?  All safe.  It's what they do.

Uprising by Muse

Good: I may be a bit biased because I LOVE that song but song choice was huge here.  It fit him like the proverbial glove.  Very very cool performance.  I found myself smiling through the whole thing.

Bad Stuff:  That get up he was wearing seemed so out of place with his normal colored mouse-brown hair.

Whatever Stuff:  Were the marching band people really necessary?  ::shrugging shoulders::

Rolling In The Deep by Adele

Good:  I think this is the first night that I've thought to myself "She belongs here."  I really like how distinct and different her voice is while still being really good.  She is growing on me in a big way.  Loved her dress & hair too.

Bad Stuff:  I got nothin'.

Whatever Stuff: Are she & Casey really dating?  Someone send me a link.  I'm too lazy to google.

Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross

Good:  I got nothin'.

Bad Stuff: I have lots of "this explains things" jokes but I can't use them because I'd look like a jerk.  I have a sneaking suspicion that at least 50% of his "emotions" up there were fake.  He is the divaiest divafied diva to have ever graced the AI stage.  His tears were out of frustration because his ear piece wasn't playing the right thing...nothing to do with his Dad.

Whatever stuff:  Did he call everyone a "sweetie pie?"  He's lame.  And un-creative.

Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5

Good:  I rewound and watched and laughed my head off at the part where he slaps James and chases Scotty about 10 times.  That kid killlllls me.  He's so Jack Black-y, which I love.  Maybe he can find a less attractive partner and they can be the Tenacious E?  Loved what he did with the song.  Very cool.

Bad:  Kissing JLo.  C'mon Casey.  That was....weird.

Whatever stuff:  Casey is the guy who I look at and wonder what he's going to look like 5 years from now after being in "the biz" for a while.   Will he be all clean cut, chiseled and Hollywood-ized?  Or will he go all Nick Nolte/Marlon Brando?  Cuz there is no in between.  He will be changed.  We just don't know in what way.

Closer by Ne-Yo


Bad Stuff:  Oh my gosh.  No no no.  Bad bad bad.  Gross gross gross.  Was I the only one disgusted by how schmoozy and greasy he is with the ladies??  And then his facial expressions on stage?  And his "moves?"  Yuck.    And the judges didn't call him on any of it.  Tonight I missed Simon.  He would have had NONE of that.

Whatever Stuff:  I needed to take a shower after watching that.

Born to Fly by Sara Evans

Good:  Her hair looked good and that outfit was cute.

Bad Stuff:  Eh....she's so booooring.  Forgettable even.  The song was so-so.  I think she has zero personality too.  It could be an age thing but really, I just think she's boring.  She's lucky she has Stefano this week to take the fall for her.

Whatever Stuff:  Someone needed to have a little sit-down with that fiddler player and explain to him that this performance had nothing to do with him.  He practically elbowed poor Lauren out of the way.

Bottom Three:  Lauren, Stefano, Jacob (hoping people aren't all mushy over the dad dying thing)

Going home: STEFANO (easiest pick I've ever made)


SteveB said...

Seeing that I started this rumor (at least on your blog) attached is a link on Casey and Haley -


On to the hit the nail on the head with that opening act! What was that?!?!?! And Paul? Maybe the ear piece was affecting or maybe infecting him too, but that was just plain awful.

I enjoyed seeing everyone make fun of each other. They did hit a number of things for each of them that we all have said or thought this season.

It terms of singing this week...Scotty (cheesy), Jacob (well, it's Jacob), Stefano(cheesier), and Lauren (so-so) did not do it for me. Casey (awesome), James (wild and you actually could understand him when he was singing higher than my soprano wife...incredible), and Haley (very, very, good).

So I am trying something new here and I hope it works: Stefano, Jacob, and Lauren. Adios Stefano!

Jana said...

Clarification on the Paul thing- I don't think he was trying to really sing it. I think since he was the only boy they were having him talk/yell it. To add a little excitement. That might not have made sense. The fiddler made me die laughing. That was the pinnacle moment of his fiddling career and he was going to live it up.

Markie23 said...

* That opening group number was horrendous and painful.
* An unsafe country song? That's a challenge Landee. Check out "Redneck Love Gone Bad" by Diamond Rio (solely for its potential to offend its most likely listeners) Scotty is safe.
* James = Adam Lambert with slightly less flamboyance and slightly more turrets. Too much high pitched screeching for my taste.
* Haley - She's GOOD.
* Jacob - Go home slobbermouth.
* Casey - my American Idol. I LOVE that guy... and this is my only disagreement with your post - I liked the JLo kiss. NOT weird. It earned him more votes fo sho. However I TOTALLY agree with the "5 years out" (AKA The Taylor Hicks Conundrum) problem.
* Stephano - Ditto
* Lauren - My vote for most likely to be in next weeks opening group number.

Hot Pants said...

I ffwd through Scotty, Stefano and Lauren every time. Not worth my time. Jacob, always a good laugh.
I loved the other three, mostly Casey though if I haven't already mentioned that on here before.
Stefano is gonzo.

StandsMom said...

Um....way to rip into country music. So which category do I fit into (being someone who likes country); redneck, back woods honky tonk or white trash?

Glad that someone else is finally seeing that Lauren is boring and completely lacking personality.

Ditto to all of it, my dear. And, I think during that opening act number they might have turned Paul's mic off a couple of times and definitely turned it way down toward the end.

Chrissi Richards said...

You are right in every way on the opening act. sooooooooo bad. so bad.
Jacob crying: I cry every time I sing that song in the car with Luther, and my dad didn't die. It is a sad sad song. I know I am the only one in this AI group that likes Jacob, but he is reaching his number. It will be tonight (7) or next week (6) for sure.
The only thing I don't like about James is his hair in this AI official picture. the faux-hawk is unoriginal. maybe a side faux-hawk?
Great great performance, however.
Love Casey.
love Haley, she has grown so much and still has so many cool places to go with that voice. love that she didn't growl so much this time.
Lauren: the judges love her.
Stefano is so out of his league.
Scotty- Tiff, you are right about country music.
Bottom: Jacob, Stefano, Lauren
Goners: Stefano
and Mom guesses Stefano is goners too.

SteveB said...

Seeing that we all have grown so close over the last number of weeks ;-) I feel like I need to tell you that my bottom three was correct, I did pick Haley over Lauren. I am willing to try anything at this point, even lying to my closest of bloggers to have her leave. I must admit, I still have disdain for the girl even if she is much better than she was, but you can't fool God and seeing that it is Easter week, I assume that He knew what I was trying! Anyhow, have a good Easter weekend.

michelangelo said...

I love SteveB.

I'm also quite pleased that Stefano went home. I think all the moms who were voting for him because they were hoping he could be this year's David Archuleta got grossed out when they saw how slimy he was.

Carol said...

Got home last night and HAD to stay up to watch both nights of AI to see if I agree with your post. Mostly yes. Bottom line--glad Stefano is gone. LOVED Casey and Haley. Jacob--had to ffwd part way through cuz I couldn't stand it. James--the shoulder embellishment was waaaaay to close to Adam. Come on. Lauren-boring. Scotty-also boring and I can't look while he sings anymore. Next week--let's get rid of Jacob already.