Wednesday, March 31, 2010

AI: Stupid Results

I have all kinds of notes on this results show.  Notes like how this is NOTHING like a clash of the titans...more like a bumping of the boringans.  And more notes about how Reuben can't sing a song with correct grammar and there ain't no way he's lost more than 5 lbs.  And several about how the Reuben/Clay tour is really just about one trying to prove they aren't racist and the other proving he's not a homophobe.  Oh, and trying to pay their rent since they both suck.   Then a smattering of notes about how ridiculous Mike's glued on tail is, how awful Usher is live (although I appreciated him saying "Oh my gosh" in the song rather than the alternative), how much I hate the word "stools,"  how nervous Ryan got suddenly when talking to DD, how much I hearted PDiddy (wait, is he going by DiddyMoney now?), and how stoooopid the Ryan/Simon exchanges were. 

But I'm not gonna bore you with all that. 

 Bottom Three: Alzy, DD and Timmy
 Gonzo: DD

Shocking and disturbing that Alzy remains while DD leaves.  Even more disturbing is that Jespy got 100% right this week.  Gah!!

Here's the points for this week and the total points in ( ):

Kimi: 2 (4)
Mikey: 2 (5)
Flem: 2 (8)
Markie: 2 (7)
Memzy: 2 (7)
cog: 2 (8)
Anna: 2 (8)
AV: 5 (7) she sooooo needed that this week, congrats AV!
Jespy: 6 (11)
Eeka: 2 (9)
Stands: 3 (8)
HotPants: 2 (5)
Landee: 2 (8)
Jana: 3 (9)
Stackey: 2 (2)
RoddTodd: 2 (2)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna rewind and listen to the Diddy diddy again.  But this time I'm gonna listen to Diddy and turn my TV up and my lights down.  ::strobe light dancin' in the family room::

He's right.  It's waaaaaaaaay better that way.  Sean "Puffy" Combs is wise.

::cut to Ryan in the fetal position sobbing softly and roll credits::

AI: For the Record

Here are the votes for tonight's AI Results show.  If I've missed anyone please let me know as I'm trying to add in all my emailed and texted picks as well. The last name is the one they pick to go home.

ME: Timmy, Shizzam, Alz
Mikey: Shizzam, Alz, Timmy
Markie: A2.0, DD, Timmy
Kimi: DD, Shizzam, Timmy
Jana: DD, Timmy, Alz
AV: Shizzam, Timmy, DD
Cog: Shizzam, DD, Timmy
Flem: A2.0, Alz, Timmy
Memzy: Shizzam, DD, Timmy
Anna: Shizzam, DD, Timmy
SolidGold: DD, Alz, Timmy
HotPantalones: Timmy, Alz, Shizzam
Stackey (my SIL!): DD, A2.0, Timmy
RoddTodd: Timmy, DD, Shizzam
Jespy: Alz, Timmy, DD

I'm seeing a lot of Timmys in bold up there.  It's making me nervous.  I just pray his likability keeps him on and Alzy's bumpits kick her off.  Can I get a what-what Jana???  ::cyber fist bumping Jana in all y'allz faces and then saying a silent prayer we are right::

AI: Top 10 Slightly More than Mediocre Singers

R&B Week.  ::sigh::  and ::ugh::

I couldn't help but feel bad for Anoop tonight.  I mean, USHER as a mentor??  He woulda crapped his pants and never recovered.  Instead you've got Dreads and Casey and DoubleD who most likely couldn't name 5 Usher songs between them.  I couldn't either, mind you, but this isn't about me for once.

I can tell they are needing some way to fill the time as they shoot the breeze with Usher about his new lame album that is "droppin" here in the near future (Kramer vs. Kramer, was it?).  And srsly, what is with the shades in the theater?  Isn't that so cliche?  I do like his moves tho.  I likes me some Usher dancing.  He should be on SYTYCD.

"Through the Fire" by Chaka Khan

Oy vey.  What was that?  The high notes were atrocious.  She looked pained the entire performance.  Her outfit was hideous (even for her).  And then she copped a major tude when listening to the judges.  She glared at them and then sassed Simon.  But then the judges wouldn't stop yammering on & on & on.  Again, the producers were probably doing that one sign that means "waste some time."  And that following her backstage afterward with her slumped shoulders and dragging feet?  Not even that table of cut up fruit could cheer up our little Ally Sheedy tonight.  Or a hug from BigMike.

"Hold On I'm Comin'" by Sam & Dave

Smiley Smilerson.  I've decided smiling is what he does when he's nervous.  He can't help it I guess.  That and purse his lips.  I liked his performance.  My boys loved it.  I mean, there's really not anything to NOT like here.  I was glad to hear he will always play his guitar.  I don't want to see him without it.  The guitar distracts me from his manic smiling.

"Ready for Love" by India.Arie

After finally seeing The Blind Side this last week, I started to wonder if BigMike doesn't like to be called BigMike.  I shall now call him Michael with a slightly southern accent.  K, now WHY is Michael set up behind the judges?  I hate that little walkway thingy anyway.  They shouldn't even have it.  They need to get rid of that and those ridiculously dramatic stairs people like to sit on.  But, you know, he did a great job.  I have no issue with Michael's voice.  I just can't imagine liking any album he would put out at a later date.  Have I already said that??  Well, it's true.  The last thing I need is an album full of love ballads sung by a large man in a falsetto voice.   Plus, I just realized tonight that his wife reminds me of my crazy Zumba teacher.  Take that for what it's worth.

"What Becomes of the Broken Hearted" by Jimmy Ruffin

Her performance was boring.  It looked like she had taken a shower with a low pressure shower head.  BUT....what was that with Ryan?????   Craziness, I tell you.  It was the most entertaining part of her performance.  Him holding her hand.  Him asking her to explain why it was such an emotional song a million times in a million different ways.  Her saying "he (meaning Ryan) wants me to say him."  I mean, right?  Am I way off here or is there srsly something going on here?  This would totally blow my Ryan Is Gay theory and subsequently make me question everything else in my life, btw.  Someone do some googling and get back to me.

"Sweet Love" by Anita Baker

There had been some awkward Usher moments before his time with Tim, but this one was the worst. First of all, I guarantee our little Timmy has never been in love.  But he didn't want to seem like a complete loser in front of Usher so he had to lie and say he had been in love.  Then Usher made him sing to him as if he were the girl Tim was in love with.  None of this helped, btw, due to the fact that, as I said, Tim has never been in love and c'mon, you can't fake that.  So then he goes out there and is basically terrible as he turns this song into some kind of homage to Wham! as he sneaks around the stage.  Man, I love Ellen.  But he's cute & nice and Teflony which are all appealing attributes.

"Forever" by Chris Brown

He's bAAAaaaack!!!!!  Best song choice of the night str8 up, yo!  The string section in the audience was an interesting choice but I absolutely loved this.   Loved the performance.  Loved his suit.  And then I loved him saying "Be nice Mama" about 100x as she approached Simon there at the end.  Remember when she sat there like a deaf mute during his little family video?  Apparently she does speak and, as a bonus, needs to be reminded to be nice.  I like her.  

"Chain of Fools" by Aretha Franklin

Man I wish I had Alzheimer's right now so I could forget about her outfit.  It was like she had been playing dress up in her Mom's clothes and her Mom was a star on Jersey Shore.  Her front wedgie was making me cringe.  I couldn't concentrate.  Horrifying.  Her vocals?  Ok I guess but that outfit.... ::hiding under a blanket and going to my happy place::

 "Treat Her Like A Lady" by Cornelius Brothers

No, I had never heard that song before but I loved it.  I loved his performance, his swagger, his raspy voice, everything.  Definitely the best performance of the night as it made me completely forget about K8ee's outfit.  It's like he is growing up right before my very eyes.  And that comment Simon made about this night changing his life might have even made me a little teary. 

"Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and The Pips

Ok, no.  No on the piano.  No on the stilettos.  No on the prom dress & leggings.  No. NO.  NO!  If she's gonna wear all that crap then she better pick out her dreads too and flat iron her hair.  Simon was able to articulate what I had been thinking.  Don't let the stylists take over here.  Go back to your hippie clothes and flat shoes, Dreads.  This seems fake.  I did think she picked a great song though.  I loves me some Gladys Knight even if it is just because she's Mormon. 

 "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers

I realized last week that Aaron's "mom's" name is Kelly Kelly.  Whatisupwitdat?  Anyway, he obviously ignored Usher's advice to build on those "I knows" there in the middle.  He just sang them normally which fit in with his windbreaker he was sporting I suppose.   Who told him to wear a hoodie out there?  I gotta admit, at this point I was tired & not taking notes anymore so all I can say is that I guess I agree with Kara here.  I liked it ::shrug::

This week is gonna be huge for the picking of the bottom three and the one to go home.  I think it could be several people obvious standouts for suckiest. 

 My picks are as follows:

 Bottom Three: Tim, Alzies and Shazaaam
 Going Home: Alzies

::biting knuckle::  I don't knoooooow you gize!!!!  So nervous.  Make your picks and may the odds be ever in your favor. 

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Is That A Threat or a Promise?

I've seen your posts, you gize.

I've seen where your child writes you a tender little note as an apology for their behavior or just to tell you what a good mom you are.  Or maybe a picture of something you've done for them that they appreciated.

Yes.  I've seen them.

But what do I get?  This:

Allow me to write this out for you:

Dear Mom,
Sens you didn't give me seareel I'm not comeing.  I am not going to touch the carpet for the rest of the night unless you give me mini mini weats withe the milke.

That's from TBone, as if I needed to tell you that.

Some points of interest here:
  • He had a bad attitude about the mahi mahi I had made for dinner.  He claimed he "hated fish it's the worst thing on earth blahblahblah."  So I gave him a half of a piece which he proceeded to practically inhale but his pride wouldn't allow him to ask for more.  Cuz that would then expose him for the fish lover that he is, see?  So he ate that, his green beans and then was done.
  • As he was bemoaning the menu for the evening he also mentioned that he was FULL due to his having eaten a piece of cold pizza out of the fridge around 3:30p and that he didn't need dinner to begin with.
  • Then 7:30ish rolls around and I see him getting in the cupboard to make himself a bowl of cereal.  Um no.  You said you were "full" complained about what I made for dinner so forget it, I said.
  • He then goes up stairs in a huff and comes back down 20 minutes later and hands me this ransom note.
Questions I have:
  • Why would I care if he touched the carpet for the rest of the night?  This would keep him out of the family room where I was trying to catch up on my shows anyway.
  • Am I crazy or should his spelling be better?  He's closing in on the end of 2nd grade here people. Teachers or anyone with experience let me know if I should make a call to Sylvan.
  • Is it bad that I found this hilarious and then let him make himself some cereal?  Crap.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Spring Brizzeak

Is it still cool to put "izz" in the middle of a word?  Oh well.  I still like it anyway.

Some people might be asking where I've been lately.  Why did I have a guest blogger for my AI post?  Why haven't I been here discussing all the mundane things in my life?  Why do I have no Facebook status?

The answer is simple.  Spring Break.

We loaded in the van and headed off to Utah for some fun at Gty's parents' house.  Utah might not seem like a glamorous place to vacation, but to us it's the perfect destination.  Activities included ice skating, downhill skiing, hot tubing, roller-blading, Broadway show watching, Easter egg rolling, Easter basket scavenger hunting, out-to-eating, movie watching and river swimming.   Where else can you do all THAT, I ask you.

This post will be dedicated to the ice skating.  They built a huge ice skating practice facility in Logan when the Olympics were being held in Salt Lake City in 2002.  Since the boys are suddenly obsessed with hockey we decided to head on over to check it out.  They have skates to rent and cute little walkers for Beebs to ice skate with making it enjoyable for everyone.    We went the first day in town and then went back again after a couple of cousins flew into town.  Gty's sister flew in her two oldest girls from California for some winter time funtivities.  We will call them Rosebud and Vee.

Ice Skating Day One:

Despite that last picture up there, Tbone was an excellent skater.  JBird was even better.  It's amazing how quickly they can transfer rollerblading skillz to ice skating.  Beebs started out with her walker thingy but by the end of the week she was going out on her own.  If we lived there I'd have her signed up for figure skating lessons in a heartbeat.  She loved it.

Ice Skating Day Two:

Phil gets Grandpa of the Year for ice skating with all the kids both days.  He was making Milly and I worried sick (as we sat in the seats and watched) with all of his fancy tricks he kept attempting.  He fell a couple of times and jammed his shoulder pretty good once.  He is now worried about how it will affect his golf game.  Such sacrifice for the grandkiddies. 

Oh you think this is the end of my Spring Break pictures?  Ha!  Nice try.  More to come, my sweets...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

AI: Results show based on logic and facts! by Kimi again

Okay kiddies.  Apparently Landee feels you can not possibly figure out who was in the bottom three and who got sent home without reading this blog.   She is continuing to enjoy her in person relationship with her family… instead of watching the results show and then blogging about it for us.  I question her priorities but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in group it’s that she’s got issues.    

First, if I remember correctly, I believe I need to mock the Ford commercial.  I don’t even get it.  And is it just me or have the commercials gotten progressively more not sense making?  A fountain ball pit?   Texting each other?  It was more of a phone commercial than a car commercial IMHO.  Plus I got excited when they left Andy at the fountain/ball pit.  Like it was foreshadowing or something awesome like that.  Which woulda meant I was right. Which might finally have meant the end of hearing about how he will forever pale in comparison to what he accidentally did once upon a time. 

Okay now just by how they are sitting you can start to see a pattern here people.  The single people they call up first are safe.  If they ask the judges what that single person should do “should they stay on”… that means they are SUPER safe.  When the whole row is working toward you and the other guy that suck…. It’s probably not good news.  Especially if the only thing sitting between you and the single person they are coaching about what to do next week are Crystal and Big Mike.    So, yeah, the elimination thinkers need to mix it up.  Just like have 3 people stand up together at first and go “you guys are the bottom three”.  Fun?  Totally fun.

Other things I didn’t like:  The Siobhanzies.  Ew.  And her boss.  Way ew.   Oh and Miley’s teeth still.

I do like that this year they let the gong-getter select their own swan song from all the songs they have sung in the competition to date.  I always hated having to hear the exact same sucky song from the night before so kudos for that changeup.  But do you think they ask EACH contestant “IF you are the one that gets sent home tonight… what song will you be choosing so we can let the band know?”   Cuz if that’s the case.. I bet the person who hears the song they pick being practiced by the band all day doesn’t think they are going to get any coaching on what to bring to the table next week.  

Anyway… so… I don’t feel right about this sans her big red ghost buster type slash/circles over their faces…  drumroll tho plz:

First dumpuses sent to the chairs of shame:  Tim and Paige

Next and final nailbiter announcement dumpus…. : Alzies  (this is the exact moment I realized that Andy would probably not be going home tonite….and that cost me like 4 apathy started to kick in just fyi)

Then who do they send back to safety right away?  ALZIES!!!!  (I hope someone texted her Dad across the street at the bar so he could buy a round in celebration…srsly..WHAT????  He’s going to end up in group someday.  Mark. My. Words.)

And who is the biggest LOOZER that got sent packin?   COLORBOOK!!!!!!  (Imagine that!  Landee picks her 4 weeks in a row and she was RIGHT this time!  She’s truly prophetic….in a delayed reaction sorta way)

All in all it’s been really fun being the guest know-it-all.    I hope you are able to read at a 4th grade level because if not you missed out on some logic and facts only available here.   For a limited time.  Free!  Unless you bought a Hunger Games message tee from her while you read along.   Either way it’s a bargain.

P.S. Landee will have your totals for you when she gets back.  You get one point for every right bottom 3 pick and 3 points if you picked the correct loser that got sent home. * If you can’t add up how many points you scored yourself then put yourself down for scoring negative 2.  

*roolz subject to change at any time without notice as you are fully aware.  Especially aware are us well meaning sweetpeas that got skrizzed outta those points we hardly mention.

K, it's Landee here.  Kim isn't so good at the mathematics so I totaled up the scores.  I was anxious to do so cuz SOMEBODY got 100%.  ::fist bumping Sara:: So did SOMEBODY ELSE. ::fist bumping Flem but giving her a look cuz her guesses were as clear as the water she drinks there in Cali:: Oh, and so did the last SOMEBODY ::fist bumping myself::  Totals are in these things ( ).

Kimi: 2 (2)
Mikey: 2 (3)
Flem: 6 (6)
Markie: 5 (5)
Memzy: 5 (5)
Cog: 5 (6)
Anna: 5 (6)
AV: 2 (only cuz she named her bottom three and then said "all must go" in a throw-out-the-rules kind of way) (2)
Jespy: 5 (5)
Eeka: 6 (7)
Stands: 5 (5)
HotPantaloons: 2 (LEE?) (3)
Landee: 6 (6)
Jana: 5 (6)

It's too bad some of you can't use those points from the first week.  You could reeeeally use them right about now.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

AI: Guest Host for the Top 11!

(the following is written by my sister, Kimi.  I claim no responsibility for anything she says.  Thank you.)

First of all I don’t wanna be here MUCH more than you want me here…so get that “you’re not our favorite babysitter” look off your face right now. She “never asks me for anything” so how could I turn her down when she texted me/called me/left RodTodd a frantic message/(I’d say sent a carrier pigeon but she didn’t and lies…well..they’re wrong) asking me to step in and be her guest blogger for the week. She says she wants to pay attention to her in-laws since she will be a guest at their house. I think you and I both know she really just would like to watch AI without having to pay attention to every earring/hairdo/whether or not Andy will ever do anything remotely like Str8 Up/pitchy/not feelin it dawg thing that happens this week without having to jot down what witty spin she will put on it. She was all “just do like you do in the comments, easy peezy”.. but um.. what I do in the comments is make fun of/disagree with/purposely not talk about all the stuff she talked about in her post… so.. not as easy peezy. But whatevs. Let’s do this.
::: adjusts her chair to my liking, looks for gum in the top drawers, puts pic of her and Gty on the desk face down and sets up pic in a heart shape frame of me and RodTodd :::

--------insert pictures here of my kids doing cute stuff even tho they are 13, 16 and 22------------

I’m just gonna tell you what I wrote in my spiral notebook. Because in no fair way to me Landee didn’t ask me to do this until I was already almost done watching it. And because I get a super way needy bordering on demanding vibe from most of you peeps I didn’t want you to go cryin to her if I didn’t give you something to read about AI when you first wake up. So.. Let’s do this for realz now.

· Is Simon wearing a Shade shirt?

· I’m starting to dislike Ryan. He’s always kinda bugged but now I actively hope he gets fired and that I am using the Secret correctly by thinking “I want Ryan to be eligible for unemployment”.


Lee Dewyze aka Flem in Landeenese
“The Letter” by I dunno (again she hadn’t given me this assignment yet and I didn’t care who cuz I don’t like it because it reminds me of that Grapevine song from the raisin bran commercials)

:: making jazz hands for no reason ::
All I wrote about it is “Much better than the original” so…. Oh and “lollerz @ his Tiffany heart necklace and broach” So from that I think even if you didn’t watch the show you will know that he is safe.

Paige aka ColorBook
“Against All Odds” by Phil Collins (I didn’t look it up or anything I just knew. And I never got to see the movie because there was probably implied Mommy and Daddy time)

Here I drew pictures of her bling with the words “PRITTY” and “OUCH my EAR HOLES” and made a note to ask Monika @ group if it’s possible for black girls to have blue/gold/light colored eyes. Monika is good at knowing facts like this. And she always tells me I’m right. Especially the time when I said I was upset Landee cancelled my points. She said “let Landeelu worry about her side of the just keep your side clean”. Anyways. We all know she sucked. She whisper sung most of it and then when she got louder it was okay but she’d already upset me to where I had drawn a big thumbs down. This is why I’m sad that Landee didn’t blog because I also wrote “Landee is gonna have a hizzy fit about those bloomer shorts” (the ones she wore to sing for Miley in rehearsal or whatevs you call that with the mentor) and now I’ll never know if I was right.

Tim Urban aka Lucky Duck
“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” –Queen/Freddy Mercury……. and RodTodd was arguing with me saying that the Stray Cats did it/wrote it so I wasn’t paying attention and had to rewind the WHOLE song

I liked his acapella version mucho betterer when he sang it for Miley. He looks super cheesy/goofy/lamerz going around to the “ladies” along the stage. But um Kara…did she really bash him for acting like a star? They want them to “believe they can win this” and “believe they are stars” …. I know I should be used to her saying dum stuff by now. But it still makes me involuntarily do the Oh Snap! Face sometimes. I realize this wasn’t his best performance. Really I do. But I heart his voice and it’s one of those things where I’m all like “Are you guys not listening to the same voice I am?” things when you/you/you and /them say he sucks. ::: still voting for him hours after the show aired ::: Kinda like when no one says your kid is cute but you are pretty sure they are cute.

Oh yeah. I guess I was supposed to say Miley Cyrus was the mentor of the week. And say something about her. Preferably rood. So… Miley has clumps in her mascara. And Party in the USA is one of my secret shame songs. Right up there with some Janice Kapp Perry songs. Oh and all that money and a Superstar at the age of …?…and she couldn’t get braces? Holy thumbsuckers for realz. K that should be good enough.

Aaron Kelly – Archie 2.0 (Now that Rye called him David Archuletta is it even still funny?)
“Don’t wanna miss a thing” –Aerosmith I think. Pretty sure. They are right up there with the Rolling Stones in my book. Under “icky stuff me no likes to look at”

Super cute how he acted like he had a crush on Miley like he likes girls. He even made a cute shy/pout look thing when he said it. I couldn’t get past that he had laryngitis AND tonsillitis….turns out I am the sympathy vote target market! I think for the first time he is safely NOT in the bottom three. I really want him to bring back the bleached hair did tips from Hollywood week tho. Gave him that Rascal Flatts vibe nstuff. :::: sticks gum under desk :::: :::opens a diet Dr. P and doesn’t use a coaster ::: Have you guys seen her garage lately? It’s way easier to get to the fridge now. BINS!

Crystal Bowersox –Dreads
“Bobby Magee…McGee…Mckee?” –probably Janis Joplin

Okay how hard were you lauging when Miley signed her guitar like it was a yearbook? The best was when she ended it with “stay cute and cool and have a great summer”. But anyway, whoever did her makeover/image overhaul …. Tiger and John Mayer need to call. They are GENIUSes! I totally forgot I hated her and that she was unfortunate looking! She is all the sudden super nice and humble and pretty(ish)! Loved that version of the song. She. Was. Amazing. Put Landee down for saying Crystal is going home BTW. That’s what she texted me. Yup.

Big Mike
“When a Man Loves a Woman” –who cares

::: fake shocked face ::: OH EM GEE he sunged a song that would be construed as him being a good/doting husband! I’m so super sprized! I want him to sing something super disrespeckful to wimmin next week. Just to show me he’s not gonna pigeon hole himself to death. It’s like he’s going thru Uncle Markies mix tapes fhs. But yeah, he’s prolly safe. Oh put Landee down for him being in the bottom three btw.

Andy Garcia –Latino Gokey? I forget what she calls him but he’s going home so it doesn’t matter
“Heard it through the Grapevine” –The Raisin Bran Raisins

Was that the reverse Roger Rabbit he pulled out? Thanks for suggesting he ditch the guitar MILEY!!!!!!! I really hope he goes home. I am SO sick of hearing about Str8 UP. I couldn’t agree more with Simon… Str8 up was a fluke. Get over it. Stop voting for him fhs!!!!! It’s like an abusive relationship at this point. We can’t just keep him because he did one good thing a long time ago. Let’s start the healing.

Katie Stevens – Alzies
“Big Girls Don’t Cry” –Fergie

I can’t believe she mentioned my emails and my message board posts to MILEY! And to call it “negative”? That’s a little harsh. I prefer “being helpy”. By her song choice she’s obviously dwelling. But yeah..welcome to the 2000’s Alzies. Srsly I bet she picked that song by accident thinking it was the old version by the Shirelles or the Donnas or the whatevs cutesy 50’s girl band even tho it was actually boys. Sorry but Alzies just reminds me of the naïve girl you have to explain everything to and it sucks the fun out of it because nothing sounds as fun/funny/awesome if you have to explain it. She didn’t blow it or fall down so I’m guessing she’s safe because lots of others were ungood. She was just her boring ole self.

Casey James - ?
“Power of Love” –Huey Lewis & the News

Great. Now he’s gonna make eye contact like a deranged poodle. Just like he won’t stop smiling now because they said he lacked charisma. He even moved away from the mic at the end there to really “use the stage”. He takes advice very seriously. ::: writing on his message board that he needs to use the clothes less ::: He reminds me of Val Kilmer. He sounded nice too. But srsly..who cares?

Didi Benami – Double D
“You’re no Good” –no care

Okay so none of the judges liked it. I did but she’s like Tim to me. Unless she really does something drastic I will always heart her. I think I have imprinted on her or something. I’m not even sure what that means. I haven’t read my decoration books yet. She’s hecka pretty and her voice sounds so perfect to me it’s like she’s lip syncing. Like her face is making all these trying real hard looks but her voice sounds like butter. She’s just so darn likable. P.s. Randy said it was pitchy and I only wrote it down to remind me I think Randy is pitchy-deaf in case I forgot

Siobhan –SheBangs-?

Oh my freak what was she wearing to the rehearsal thingy with Miley???? Acid washed jeans with zippers AND pleats????? And the new blonde and pink highlights are…. …since she wore the vest during the performance… I’m so confused. Is she edgy and creative or just str8 up squirrel bag crazy? :::: watching them pan to her friends:::: Uh boy. The girl can sing tho. I like the lil corker.

So my predictions in case you can’t understand perfectly good writing words are that Andy, Paige and Tim are in the bottom three with Andy being the one to go bye bye. I am mad too cuz that means Alzies will get to go on tour.

Do your normal stuff now and tell her your completely unfounded with non-facts and lacking logic type picks. She wants you to pick the bottom three and who goes home out of those I guess. Unless she has changed the roolz AGAIN.

Imma go eat all her snacks and call my boyfriend.

>--------insert more pics of my kids being super cute ------------<

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Derby

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

The 2010 Pinewood Derby.

Every year this time rolls around and I dread it.  It's the making of the cars that bugs me.  Well, actually, it's the THOUGHT of making the cars that turns me off.  All that sanding & painting & putting on the weights.  Knothanksbye.

But then, just like with my Christmas decorations,  once we get started then it's game on.

The contenders.  In his final Pinewood Derby... JBird "Lightening" Anderson:

And, in his first Pinewood Derby....Tbone "Thunder" Anderson:

On the drive over to the church I could feel that familiar frenzied feeling creeping in.  I kept telling myself it was no big deal.  It was just for fun.  And lots of other lies.  It didn't work.  I was on edge.  Then walking into the church gym and seeing the track all set up and everyone running around either adding or removing weight to their cars didn't help either.

 Tbone's car was a little over-weight (dang them and their scale that went to TWO decimal places!) so Gty & I became surgeons.

Since JBird had gotten 4th place in his previous two derbies, our worst nightmare was that TBone would win & JBird wouldn't this year.   TBone, who is not that competitive and it's his first race, and JBird, who is very competitive and it's his last race.  We tried to do their cars exactly the same, but who knows, right?

You can just see the tension in the air.  

The winners will be determined after FOUR races.  One time down in each track.  The winner would be the one with the fastest average time after it was all said and done.

JBird was in the first race.
His car was literally a full car length ahead of all the other cars when they hit the finish line.  And I don't mean "hit" figuratively.  The track ended at a wall which the cars would smack into (not good).  Since JBird's had gotten there so much before the other cars, his bounced into another car's track and blocked it from finishing.  The officials said they needed to race again.  

Whaaaaaaaat????  Noooooooo!!  

Gty and I were giving each other looks that denoted swear words (in our own silent language).   They had the times off the screen so fast that we didn't even get a chance to see what JBird had gotten.

See?  My anxiety was not for nothin'!

But we weren't too worried.  JBird's car was sooooo much faster than the others that it wouldn't be too big of a deal.

So, they race again.  

This time JBird's car comes in third.

You heard me right.  THIRD.

I'm guessing his little wreck screwed up a wheel or something?  We don't know.  But again, the look exchanging swear words are flying.  JBird is being a good sport.  Keeping it together.  Doing much better than Gty & I. Gty says something to the poor scout lady like "Hey, is there any way we can find out what JBird's first time was and keep that?  This doesn't seem fair."   She claims it can't be done and as Gty walks away (not angrily) I hear her say to another leader "And so the tension begins."  

Ok, fine. We take some deep breaths and begin lying to each other and ourselves again.  No need to make a scene.

Tbone races a couple of races later and his car is exceedingly fast.  I dare say, faster than JBird's first run.  As a matter of fact, he now holds the new speed record.  My smile returns.  This is the beauty of having more than one kid/car.  All your hopes & dreams aren't pinned on one.

The races continue and no one is beating TBone's time.  
Things are looking good.  I'm starting to want it too badly though.  Sometimes it's almost better to just not even be close.

TBone's final race down he has a good run but the kid that was breathing down his neck the whole time finally beat him and, sadly, broke his record he had held the entire time!

But this kid could NOT have been happier with 2nd Place.

And JBird was happy for him.  A little disappointed with his 5th place finish (other peeps, 3rd and 4th placers specifically, were re-graphiting their cars between races.  Major no-no.  I don't wanna say that was the difference for Jbird not placing, but it was) but super happy for TBone.  JBird has a gazillion trophies.  This is TBone's first in anything.

You know how when a team wins the Super Bowl and they ask "What are you going to do now?" and they go "I'm going to Disneyland!"

Well, we asked TBone what he was going to do now and he said "I wanna go call my two grandpas!"
You've never heard a cuter conversation.  He described it all in great detail to each of them.  Then we hear him describing his trophy in detail... "and then, there's like a base and it goes up like a pole thingy, and it's red white and blue with cars on it and then, at the top...."  

He was giddy and couldn't stop talking about it or stop looking at his trophy until he fell asleep.  

We realized later that this was our worst nightmare (we thought) but actually, this is what needed to happen.  Tbone needed this more than JBird.   Srsly.  We were all grinning fools the rest of the night.

 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Mostly the best though.

AI: surprise

Well, no surprise to most of you gize anyway.  Why do I stink so much at picking the losers?  I think it's because I like to see the good in others.  I just can't see the flaws that America seems to dwell on, I guess.  I'm just glad Kim's pick wasn't even in the bottom three.  So that's a suckier pick than mine.

Other results show notes:
  • Still love David Cook.  But even he couldn't make The Stones sound good.  And he's doing the mullet wrong.
  • Two thumbs down on the Ford commersh.  And the designing your own Ford?  Lame.  If that is possible someone is gonna put an octopus on their hood or something.
  • Orianthi:  No thanks.  She's like Taylor Swift with glam rock guitar riffs.  Dumb, dumb song.  And she didn't even use the stage.  I've heard that's what you gotta do.
  • Ke$ha:  Thank goodness she changed the lyrics to that song.  It is soooo nasty.  But she was awkward and terrible live.  What was with the Indian headdress?  I didn't get it.  Ghastly.  I will still continue to love her tunes tho.  I'll just block this performance out of my mind.
  • SOOOOO glad they are still doing the "Judges' Save!!!"  As I've said before, I love the "Oh, America hates you.  You're gone" then they sing with hope still in their heart while the judges fake deliberate at the table.  Then the 2nd slap in the face of the night: "We won't be saving you."  Brilliant. 

Congrats to  Jana, Anna, HotPants, Michelangelo, Eeka,  and cog (?).  You've each been awarded one Landee Point, or LP. 

I think next week we'll tweek it a little.  You guess the bottom three (at 1 LP each) and then the one ultimately kicked off (for 3 LPs).  I had forgotten about the whole bottom three bit and one point per week is stupid and we all know it. 

Mkay?  So set your DVRs for next week and put on your thinking caps.  6 points possible!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Votes So Far, Get 'em In People!

Me: Coloring Paige
Stands: ColoringPaige 
Flem: LuckyDuck (she just called it in)
Jespy: Andy Garcia
Kimi: Alzies
Jana: Kate+8
Anna: Kate+8
HotPants: Kate+8
Michelangelo: Kate+8
Uncle Markie: LuckyDuck
SolidGold: ColoringPaige
RoddTodd: Andy Garcia
Eeka: Kate+8
Memzy: Alzies (but voted while doped up on Vicodin.  Noted.)

Oooooh, I'm seeing some gutsy picks this week!  Guts. Y.  I'm surprised I'm the only one going with ColoringPaige.  I'll just assume you all loved the jumpshorts.  Good to know.

Um, where are the rest of you?  I'm waiting.....

PS Saw the real Kate+8 during an unfortunate TV tuning incident at the gym this morning where it was either watch The View or SportsCenter.  Her hair is way longer now.  Lacey may need a new nickname.  Like Sucky+10 or something.

AI: The Rolling Stoops

::opening two Dove chocolates & refilling Diet Dr. P::  One says "Share a kind word" (nah) and the other says "Give yourself to someone who needs you"  (hmmm...maybe later).

::stretching fingers::   Ready?

Ok, first of all, I need to be honest with you here & tell you I'm not a fan of The Rolling Stones.  I went through a major Beatles phase beginning in the 5th or 6th grade and tapering off in college and I was obsessed with The Doors for a good chunk of my adolescence as well, but The Stones?  No.  Never.    As the show began tonight Gty goes, "I think you're gonna see how many Rolling Stones songs you actually do like tonight."  I hate/love to say it, but he was dead wrong.  I don't like any of these songs and had only heard, like, three of them before.    I like to think this gives me a unique perspective though.  No comparing to the original and all that nonsense. 

Second of all, who cares anyway, right?  You don't come here for my musical expertise anyway.

Let's move on.

"Miss You"

Let's talk about his intro video.  These are often my favorite parts of the whole performance.  This one, an in depth interview with Mike's wife, made me start to wonder why we never heard a peep out of Kris Allen's wife.  I mean, obviously AI isn't opposed to wifey interviews so what'supwitdat??  I'm thinking they didn't want to remind America Kris was married cuz he was so cute.  But with BigMike they're like, "He coached his wife to push over the phone as she gave birth fhs.  Let's put her on screen.  Plus, no teenage girl is screaming for him anyway."  As for his performance, it was very Jennifer Hudson.  Watch it again.  You'll see it.  Lotsa lips and stuff.  I'm tiring of his falsetto but he did fine.   The Ryan/Simon stuff is so played.  This show isn't about them.  Why haven't the producers mentioned this in their staff meetings?

Double D
"Play With Fire"

Boring, supportive Mom stuff in her video.  Nothing I haven't heard and seen before.  Did you notice that when DD talks her teeth don't quite close all the time?  I bet she'd make a brilliant ventriloquist (I just spelled that right on the first try, suckah!!).  Performance wise I thought she was good but I'm not sure I like this side of my little Double D.  Broody & dark are not what I'm looking for.  I appreciate what she is trying to do in showing different sides of herself but I prefer her with her guitar and being a little moody as opposed to this.  She can only do so much with Rolling Stones week, I guess.

"It's All Over Now"

He was brain damaged as a kid?  Or almost brain damaged?  I didn't quite catch that.  Somehow brain damage came up though.  I like this kind of feel from him way more than the straight up country crap he was kickin' last week.  He's obviously in the Gifted & Talented program with his guitar.  I guess I'm just wondering what he's smiling about all the time.  It's constant.  Start noticing it.  Let's see if he smiles every performance cuz it's been every performance so far.  And Ellen's "people like me" joke was funny but now I'm guessing there were some parents who had to explain what was so funny to their kids.  Sounds like a fun convo to have in the middle of AI, doesn't it?   PS Simon made no sense.  He was making up stuff just to have something to be critical about.  Use the stage more??  How?  His microphone is on a stand and his hands are occupied with his guitar.  Doyeee.

"Ruby Tuesday"

Pastor parents.  Texas.  Supportive family.  Blah blah blah.  I officially declare, in this blog post, that I cannot stand Lacey.  Her voice is awful!!  It's like, not even her real voice!  Ugh.  And she kept sliding into all her notes "gooooodbye ruuuuby tuuuesday"  (<---sing that sliding into each note, k?).  She does nothing for me.  I may have just dubbed her my nemesis.  And what was she wearing?  Some kind of off the shoulder striped t-shirt with a ruffly corset and a puffy skirt?  You're trying too hard, Kate.  Way too hard.

"Give Me Shelter"

Best family video ever!!  "I always thought he'd be a custodian cuz he collected keys."  Oh my gosh.  Love his adorable gangsta parents.  The performance was interesting, that is fo sho.  I didn't love it, but I liked it.  He's trying new things.  Feelin' it out, you know?  Randy, shutty.  Love you Ellen.  Kara: you and your connection-to-the-song crap is bugging me more than your normal stupid stuff.  Love you Simon.  "Should he have come out with a tank?"  ::giving Kara the "srsly, you idiot" look::

"Wild Horses"

Wow.  She sucked as an 8 year old.  Thank goodness she is here now to "put Connecticut on the map" because no one had ever heard of CT before.  And there is dear old granny.  I've missed her.  Did you know she has Alzheimer's and is old?  It's true.  The nemesis spot isn't officially wrapped up with Lacey because Katie is keeping it interesting.  She's so boring and so lame that I just can't decide who bugs me more.  The only problem with Katie is that she can actually sing so she might stick around a lot longer than Lacey.  I wish wild horses would drag her away.

"Under My Thumb"

Ten kids in his family and ONE shower.  I cannot imagine how filthy that shower must have gotten all the time.  No signs of Mormonism around his house and, oh, dang...he's wearing a cross.  Oh well.  I still like Catholics, just not as much as Mormons.   Here is a perfect example of where my ignorance was bliss.  I'd never heard this song before so I liked the reggae stuff he put in there at the end.  He's not amazing or anything, but definitely entertaining and I don't mind looking at him.   He keeps it interesting too.  One week he's terrible, the next great.  This week so-so but enjoyable.

"Paint It Black"

Her parents are exactly as I had imagined a glassblower's apprentice to have.   A couple of hippies.  I guarantee they recycle.  This performance was creepy, in a good way.  Chilling.  She scares me.  I can almost say with 100% certainty that she's Wiccan.  I think that's the Grim Reaper there tattooed on her arm but I couldn't get a clear shot of it on the TV.  I thought she looked great tonight.  Prom dress, army boots, movie star hair...loved it.   In the "some are gonna love it, some are gonna hate it" category, I loved it.

"Beast of Burden"

Dang.  I was hoping they'd talk about what got him sent to that "alternative high school"/step down from juvvy.  I'm guessing he had issues due the the fact that his Dad is still in the closet.  Being raised by a gay man in denial has to do things to your psyche.  Maybe he took up graffiti to cope?  Stole a car?  Started a meth lab?  See, I must know.  My imagination is getting away from me here.   I thought it was a pretty good performance this evening.  He took a song from '78 and brought it up to about '95 with his Hootie & the Blowfish-esque interpretation.  But I agree with Simon.  His personality is lacking.  He didn't understand a couple of the questions Ryan asked so maybe hims not so smart either.  He's cute tho.  And I like him.

"Honky Tonk Woman"

Dad was paralyzed and died when she was four?  Why are we just hearing about this now?  Didn't anyone tell her America loves a good sob story?  Instead she has decided to rocks the onesies even more than Jermaine did.  WHO told her to wear a shorts jumpsuit?  Who?  I can't even tell you how she sang the song because that outfit distracted me so much.  She has no business, No. Business. wearing that thing.  Yikes.


Ok.  I get it now.  He was ADOPTED by his aunt which is why he insists on calling her his mom.  I gotcha.  That was confusing.  I loved it when he was like "I'm the only one who sings in my family.  I don't know where I got it from cuz my Mom can't sing!"  Um... someone explain to him how genes work plz.  Auntmom's voice has nothing to do with yours, Archy.   Sorry.  I'm also sorry for how much I don't like this kid.  I should.  He's adorable (in a baby way, not a hawt way).  He's nice.  His hair looked way better this week.  He just doesn't do it for me.  I found it boring.  The judges go out of their way to prop this kid up and I'm still trying to understand why.  Maybe Ryan wants to keep him around because he feels tall standing next to him?  It's the only thing I can come up with.

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"

Elliston, OH, as it turns out, is only about 35 minutes from where I used to live in Perrysburg, OH.  I don't know what this means for you, exactly, but I wanted to point it out anyway.  Her dad was cute.  Was there any mention of a mother?  I may not have been paying close attention during her video intro.  But she took that song and Melissa Ethridged the heck out of it, didn't she?  Thank goodness she spared us her neck brace harmonica.  I can't stand that thing.  She did a great job tho.  No complaints here.  She even looked kinda pretty with her dreads pulled back and some nice makeup on.

The Contest

So that's it for the recaps/commentary.  Now, for the contest.  It officially starts this week.  Last week was just warm-ups--our equivalent of looking into a box.  I needed to see how many would be interested, after all.  And now I think we have enough to make it interesting.   Please please please join in.  Anyone & everyone is welcome!  The more the merrier, is what I always say.  I don't even care if I don't know you.  Leave your picks here.  We could become BFFs!

Here is how it will work.  Each week, anytime after the performances and before the results show (cut off at 5pm MST so you east coasters can't cheat) you may submit who you think will be eliminated that week.  From now on it will only be one person each time.  You can submit your pick in the comments of this blog post, via Facebook, text, email, calling me on the phone, carrier pigeon, whatever.  After this season of AI is over, I will look to see who has picked the most correct eliminations throughout.  This person will be crowned OUR American Idol 2010.  There will be a prize.  And it will be somewhere in the "oh, cool" to "awesome" range.  But the pride of winning will far exceed the monetary value of whatever I come up with.  And you can bet an entire post will be dedicated to you, fawning over your great achievement.   

Everyone got it?

I look forward to hearing from you each week.  Feel free to leave your reasoning behind your pick as well so we can agree or agree to disagree. Or not.  No pressure.

This week I'm going with ColoringPaige.  I agree with Simon...she's made no connection to anyone.  And her jumpshorts didn't help. 

Your turn.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Party In the USA (cuz that's where my house is)

Not last week, but the week before that I was, super busy.   

I was busy looking at this:

And this:

And hanging out with this guy:
And listening to this girl sing the latest pop songs complete with dance moves (i.e. Single Ladies):

This all can only mean one thing, of course.  One of my favorite people in the whole world was here.  NutShell came for a visit!!!  Her hubby (Reido, who Beebs later refered to as "Dorito") came for a skiing trip with his Dad so NutShell & kids got to hang out with us all week & we partied like you've never seen partying before. 

I mean, look at these girls partying on the horses at the grocery store.

And these gize partying it up at Chuck's house. 

We actually packed all the kids up to head to a place a hundred times better than CEC's (Amazing Jake's).  The kids were starving & saying it was taking FOREVER to get there, blahblahblah (that's quoting Ke$ha, btw).... and then yay! we were finally there! 

Oh crap.


Like, closed closed.  Signs in the window saying it was for lease.  Signs taken down.  A dreadful sight. 

So then we knew we were in for a miserable night at CEC considering it was Friday night at 6 o'clock.   Long story short, apparently everyone thinks CEC will be crazy on a Friday night so nobody goes.  We had no line, plenty of places to sit & the kids ran free dumping in tokens and taking out tickets. 

It didn't matter where we were because all I was gonna do was this anyway:

That's my coy look, in case you were wondering.  She wuvs me.

How'd we fill the rest of the week?


A whole lot more of this....

(on an unrelated note, do any of you know any good cheap home remedies for crows feet?  No reason.  No. Reason.  At. All.  ::fighting back tears::)

Summa dis & dat as well...

I can't believe I got 0 pics of NutShell!!!  Ridiculous.   I'll have to take a ton on the next Annual Reido Ski Trip trip.   As far as NutShell & I went, we spent our time chatting, refilling our diet beverages, trying to remember every SYTYCD performance, looking at blogs,  chatting, eating, staying up late, watching AI, chatting, keeping the kids alive, blasting Party In the USA, barely surviving Stake Conference, and, of course, planning the next time we'll see each other (just a couple of weeks away). 

I love this annual tradition & hope it never ends.  Thanks for coming NutShell & fam... you never disappoint.

Friday, March 12, 2010

AI: Texting Entertainment

Markie made a comment that he wished he could have seen the texts that were flying around during the results show.  This made me start thinking about the texts I received and I started giggling.  They're funny.  And I didn't want to deprive you, my reader, of such things.   Here is a sampling of texts I have received this past week during the shows. The names have been with held because I didn't get their permission first.  It's like when they blur out people's faces on those reality shows & stuff.  Betcha can't figure out who is who either.

Girls Night

J (regarding Alz): Hate her facial expressions.  It's so facebook profile pic.  She tried to cut her own bangs.

S: Too bad she sucked.  If Paige was my daughter, I wouldn't vote for her after that performance but I would give her a coloring book full of hippos.

Boys Night

A: Casey tonight.  Yummm. Eeeee.

J: Kara is saying stupid textbook critique bs.  "The only thing standing in your way... is you." <-- chills

J (re: LuckyDuck): Love this song too.  Good job boys.
Me: Now I'm back to hoping he's Mormon.
J: Yes.  And this song is super hard to sing.  I can't even kinda sing it.
Me: I can sing it perfectly so....
J: No you can't.  You butchered the spider web song.
Me: I hadn't done my throat spray before spiders web.
J: Yeah, maybe I should look in a box before I sing hallelujah.

J: Kara is a dummyface.

Results Show
Me: I don't think Crystal smiled once the whole show.  What's up her butt? (besides diabetes)
S: She's just a B.  No biggie.  That is why I dont like her and I dont vote for her.  I miss Mullet already.
Me: He broke my heart tonight.  So weepy.  Couldn't even hold his last note.  I would have cried for him if my heart wasn't made of stone.
S: My heart was made of ice until I heard him sing for the first time.  He melted it.  He replaced Jacob in my heart and made me only dislike mullets.
Me: Bullcrap.  Jacob can't be replaced.  PS wasn't that excited about the eclipse trailer.  What's wrong with me?
S: Nothing.  You are a healthy, red blooded American woman with needs.  We are all excited about Eclipse.  Are we watching it together?
Me: I said I WASN'T excited.
S: Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?! I guess you are a freaky, cold blooded Iraquian woman.

J: Crystal! What a drama B! Srsly.  Crakc a frickin smile.  Makes her seem unappreciative.
Me: I know!  She's extremely unlikable.  Bugs me.
J: She WANTS to act unhappy.  Like a martyr.  I hate that attitude.
J: Oh crap.  Aaron needs to go!!!
J: Freak and A!!!!
J: I no want Alex to go!!!
J: Noooooo!!!!!!! So mad!!!!!!!!!! Andy shoulda gonerz!!!!!
Me: That was like Sophie's choice there.  No right answer.
J: I srsly have no reason to watch this show now.  It's bloody mary's fault.
J: I'm angry and bitter now.  I don't even care who goes home, who wins, whateve.  No reason to live or watch AI.

J: How'd you end up with 0 points???!? Hahahah!! You're supposed to be good at this!
Me: It's cuz this show is a crap shoot. I was 3/4 last week.  Son of a...
J: But 0? That's funny, you must admit.
Me: Hilarious.  You got one.  Congrats.
J: ::going from huge grin to straight face::

Me: Congrats on your 50%.  Still an F tho.
K: how much better is that than a zero% tho? plus as the best part mullet.  buh bye suckah!
Me: I'm still in shock.  Sara and Jenny wanna commit suey over it fhs.  0% is like I didn't even take the class.  Not on my permanent record.
K: Amy and I tied for smartest.  I kinda saw that coming.  Lilly shocked the freakin crap outta me.  i bet i lose chunks of hair.
Me: Sara got 2 as well.  She was a late voter.  It shocked her too.  She looked like a B/sore loser.  I'm glad she's gone now.
K: Me three.  and crystal was buggin.  she BETTER be sick.
Me: She didn't smile once!
K: and no congrats hugs.  and no reaction on her face at all when he said she was safe!  wha...tha...hail.

Now, isn't it amazing that I can text all this AND keep impeccable notes in my spiral animal print notebook?  Being an AI connoisseur requires some serious multi-tasking.  I feel like a Lucky Duck myself to have such hilarious people in my life.  Who also have unlimited texting.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

AI: Results...WHOA!

Let's not even talk about the fluff here (i.e. the "group number") and hop right to it.

::singing:: Keyboard killed the would-be AI star.... ::stop singing:: and the suspenders didn't help either.  A flat iron may have helped but now we'll never know.  Her performance tonight was much better without that tacky keyboard in front of her.  Sorry Curly.  We'll see you never again most likely. At least Lilly is bawling about you leaving.  Oh no...I just remembered Curly's parents are getting a divorce.  Dang.  Now I'm legitimately sad.

At least he can go cry on Fantasia's shoulder.  Although I didn't pick him to go, I'm not sad about it.  If he were to go on SYTYCD I'd so vote for him.  Is it telling that this is all I could think of to say about him?

I guess AI can only handle one Lambert??  I'm sorry Jespy and Eeka.  I really am.  I know how much he meant to you gize.  I was just beginning to adore him myself.  Maybe if he just would have moved a little when he was singing?  I don't know.  I'm baffled.  My little Jason Mraz prodigy is gone (That's  right.  Mrazy).  At least we don't have to hurt our brains coming up with the other pinch-of-an-artist that he consists of.  I liked the Rod Stewart suggestion tho.  I think Jana was on to something there.  His tears were heart-breaking.  Like a little kid I wanted to scoop up in my arms, smooth his mullet down and tell him everything was gonna be OK even though I know his career is over.  I'm a good liar.

Whaaaaaat???  Admittedly this last week was not her best but kicked off over ColorBook and Alzheimers???????  Are you kidding me?  She was my last Coloradoan to cheer for too.  Chocolate Country let me down and now Lilith.  Did you see her face when Alz got in over her?  She was mad.  "I don't know what America wants!"  Well, I guess not you? I didn't like her attitude.  Maybe I'll go downtown, look for her on the street corners and throw money in her mandolin case.  Or maybe just some coupons.

Other noteworthy items:
  • Dreads' attitude stinks.  She didn't smile ONCE during the entire show.  Acted like a total brat.  Is that a side effect of diabetes?  If not, I hate her.    
  •  Also, LOVED the number with Blindy and Matt!  It made me smile.  Way good.  And did Matt get that thing taken off his forehead?
  • I think this is the worst Top 12 ever.

So, here are the scores so far.  4 points possible.

Landee: 0 (shoulda started this last week!)
Kimi: 2 (painful to write that but at least Andy is still here, which was my main argument)
Memz: 1
Markie: 1
Jespy: 1
Annie: 1
Stands: 1
HotPants: 2
SolidGold: 0
KBP: 1
Eeka: 2

I may throw out these scores and start it for realzies next week with the top 12.  You know, so others can join in.  ::ahem::    I'm willing to sacrifice because I'm a HUGE giver and philanthropist.  <---common knowledge.

Put Your $$$ Where Your Fingers Type

Not actual money.  But pride money.  That's right.  I want you to leave a comment with your predictions of who leaves us tonight on AI.

I only want a record of this because my sister's predictions were so atrocious.  It must be documented.

Plus I am going to do this each week, and at the end of the season, I will award a prize to the one who gets the most correct.  I'll have Gty work up some kind of formula/flowchart/Excel spreadsheet to figure it all out.   And believe me, the prize will be awesome and you will want it.  It might even be THIS. You never know.  Even if you've never commented here before, do it now.  You could win a prize fhs!!

This week I'll need two girls and two boys.  I will then cut & paste them from the comments section up to this post.  So far I have:

Kim: Alzheimers/CurlySue and Andy/Mullet  <---I could barely type that with a straight face.
Me: Alzheimers/ColorBook and Archy2/LuckyDuck
Memz:  Alz/Colorbook and Archy2/Todrick
Michelangelo: ColorBook/CurlySue and LuckyDuck/Mullet
Markie23: Alz/Colorbook and Archy2/Todrick
Jespy: Colorbook/Alz   and Archy2/Todricky
Annie: Colorbook/CurlySue and Archy2/Luckyduck
Stands: Alz/ColorBook and Mullet/Archy2
HotPants: Alz/CurlySue and Arch2/Todrick
SolidGold: Colorbook/Kate+8 and Archy2/Flemsta (whoa!!!  way to go out on a limb there SG! May the odds be ever in your favor.  You're gonna need it.)
KBP: (I had to figure out who she meant through her descriptions of people but I think these are correct)  Kate+8/ColorBook and Archy2/Toderick
 Eeka: CurlySue/ColorBook and Toderick/Archy2

The rest of you haven't come right out and said anything so I don't wanna put predictions into your mouth.  Let it be known.

Just as a side note so I back up my mocking of Kim with reason and logic, here are the stats on Twitter.  The numbers below indicate how many "followers" each contestant has.  Please note the last one.

DD: 3,060
Dreads: 2,855
Alz (Katie): 2,457
Kate+8 (Lacey): 1,719
LL (Lilly): 1,710
Shizzahm (Siobhan): 1,470
CurlySue (Katelyn): 1,449
ColorBook (Paige): 705

BigMike: 1,510
Todrick: 1,640
Archy2 (Aaron): 2,573
Mullet (Alex): 2,668
Flemsta (Lee): 2,992
Casey: 3,343
LuckyDuck (Tim): 3,348
Andy: 13,008

Now, obviously the number of followers you have on Twitter has nothing to do with how many votes you have.  But I think the number of followers Andy has speaks volumes.  He will be in the top 12. Also look at the number of followers poor ColorBook has.  It makes me sad for her.  Didn't even break into the thousands.  Triple diggys.  She's a goner.

Other surprises?  That Alzy has so many.  And that BigMike has the least amount out of the guys.  And LuckyDuck has more than Casey?  Only 5 more, but still.

K, leave your predictions.   I look forward to seeing them.

AI: Top 8 Male Specimens

  • I hate you.
  • You say dumb things.
  • I'm gonna start ffwding your comments because they mean nothing and are usually dead wrong.
  • You didn't invent cardigans.
"Fireflies" by Owl City

Huh.  I was so not expecting that song choice.  Were you?  Did you see that coming?  Liar.  I liked it.  It was very cool to hear that song stripped down to its undies and holding a guitar.  I enjoy Lee's voice and, c'mon, we gotta have at least one rocker in the bunch.  I didn't vote for him due to timing issues but I hope somebody out there did.

"Trouble" by Ray LaMontange

I actually went back after the show was over and listened to this one again.  I wanted to hear this mushy-not-yet-cocky banana one more time.  I've decided he's Jason Mraz + John Mayer with a pinch of Neil Young.  There's maybe a 1/4 cup of something else in there too but I can't figure it out.  It's probably someone with dimples.  I think he could definitely stand to loosen up a bit though.  The only time he moves is to shift his weight a little.  Oh wait, and one little foot stomp on the beat.  Maybe next week he'll bend his knees a little?  And yes, I'm predicting there will be a next week for this kid.

"Hallelujah" the Jeff Buckley version

::handing him MOST IMPROVED award::  Where did this come from?  I mean srsly!  After the train wreck that was "Apologize" and last week's "Higher" fiasco this was amazing!  I'm now back to hoping he's Mormon.  Ellen's hug was cute but I bet she got a talking to afterward...that took time they just didn't have due to that lame dramatic intro at the beginning of the show so Ryan could get his closeup.  The question now is, did he do enough to get the votes?  We'll see I guess.

"Genie In A Bottle" by Christina Aguilera

Here is where I wanted to punch the judges in the face.  If I were Andy, next week I'd sing Adam Lambert's "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" cuz freakin A!  They need to never mention his performance of Straight Up ever again.  This was a great performance, fun, he "made it his own," etc etc etc and they cannot freaking get over Straight Up!  Not that I'm worried he won't make it to the top 12 or anything but I'm sick of hearing the same thing come out of their mouths every week.  Shutty already.

"You'll Think of Me" by Keith Urban

Ugh.  I have nothing to say here.  I hate country.  Thus I had difficulty separating my distaste for the genre from the actual performance.  I just hope this isn't where his heart is.  I can handle bluesy, but not Keith Urban.   Plzthanks note that Kara never got off "the Casey train."  She's so full of it.

"I'm Already There" by Lonestar

DOUBLE UGH!  Now it's country and it's TERRIBLE.  I had to busy myself with other things during this it was so hideous.  He was ghastly.   Kara's comment was really dumb tho and I totally agreed with Simon.  Does everybody have to have experienced everything mentioned in their songs?  I was glad Simon called her on it but disappointed in how easy he went on Archy.  I was waiting for him to say "Kara's comment is rubbish but even so, that was abysmal with a capital A."  Who is voting for this kid?  I want names and email addresses.

"Somebody to Love" by Queen

I thought it was good.  Just good.  He's a bit cheesy and showy for my taste.  You know, lots of hands outstretched towards the camera and walking around the stage so much I feel like he should be dizzy.  I don't know.  I'm still waiting before I decide if I should love or hate this guy.  Our relationship is very volatile right now.   I don't know if he made it up or his "fans" did but they are calling themselves "Toddyrockers."  He may have just slipped to hate.

Big Mike
"This Woman's Work" by Maxwell

Tyce Diorio has forever associated this song with breast cancer for me.  I gotta say, I was worried about Mikey.  There are some crazy high notes all up in there!  But he was great.  Really great.  I wasn't bawling like Kara or anything but it did make me pause and say "Wow" to myself.  I knew Mike was good before this but now I think he could sing the phone book and it'd be good.  <--had to say it.  Would I buy his album?  Dunno.  Doubt it.  Will I continue to like him on AI?  Yes.   At least for now.

Predictions:  This is tough this week, but I'll go with buh-bye to Archy2.0 and LuckyDuck-- I just don't know if he can gain as many fans as he needs with one performance.  I don't enjoy picking him though, just know that.