Redecorating Pains

So I'm redoing my living room a bit.  I have had the furniture in there for a good 10 years.  I have become so sick of it.  I had no accessories in there to speak of & it was blah blah blah.   After a trip to TJ Maxx and Target and HomeGoods it now has a bit of a personality.  I changed the color scheme, got a new chair, moved an old one out, and pillows pillows pillows!   I may post a pic of the final product but there are a few things I need to do first (i.e. get my huge canvas wrapped family pic I ordered, get some curtains up, etc).

Anyway, I had moved the old chair into a little alcove thingy in my entry way.  It is a bit big for the spot but I kinda like it.  It does stick out of the alcove a bit though (<---important information for later).

So last night I go downstairs to turn off all the lights.  It's about 1am and pitch dark.  I'm not scared, however, because I know every inch of this house.  Helen Keller herself couldn't do a better job navigating around here at night than I.

But I had forgotten about that dang chair...

(plzthanks ignore chipped toenail polish, cracked cuticles, dry feet skin, overall grossness of my feet, etc)

Due to the fact that it was the middle of the night and I didn't want to wake everyone up, all I could do is stand there, doubled over in agony, leaning against the stair banister, biting my knuckle to stifle my screams.  I was sure that when I looked at it in the light I would be down one toenail but luckily they all survived.  

I no longer think this joke is funny:

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

A: They rearranged the furniture. 

AI: Finale Sponsored by the AARP

I counted two "guest performers" under the age of 68.  Two.

::SIGH::


I declare 87% of this show unwatchable.  I mean, I watched it.  But only because I had to in case something awesome happened.

A few "awesome" things that DID happen:  Ryan's mic being left on for a bit as Kris Allen (I miss him so much it hurts) started singing, that dood taking over the mic from Dane Cook & saying he's taking over for Simon until they cut away to a commercial, Christina Aguilera forgetting pants, William Hung/Pants on the Ground duet, Janet Jackson's Spock ears and unsightly unitard.

Best Song Lyric Change EVER: "Would she go down with you to the theater?"  ::insert loud laughter from me for about 3 minutes::  What, pray tell, is perverted about that?  I'm surprised Alanis went along with that but I'm soooo glad she did.  Too funny.

And, of course, congrats to all those who voted for Mr. Lee.  I obviously wanted him to win but I was being strategic.   And a BIG congrats to Mizundastood herself, Eekareeka!!  After changing her vote about 3 times she finally decided on Lee and I'm sure she's happy she did.   Here are the final tallies of those near the top (meaning they voted for Lee):

Eeka: 133
Jespy: 130
HotPants: 126
cog: 122
Mikey: 119
AV: 115
Kimi: 101


Please leave suggestions for Eeka's customized gift in the comments.  REASONABLE suggestions, that is.  I have a couple idears but you might come up with something better and I'd hate for her not to have the best of the best for all her hard work this season.


Thank you to all who participated in any way, shape or form!  You made an otherwise intolerable season less intolerable.

AI: Votes So Far...Get 'Em IN!

Just so you know, the prize will be customized depending on who wins it...that's right... A CUSTOM prize!  For example, if Jana wins I would probably seek out the best burger recipe book I could find.  If Jespy wins she'll get that Hunger Games t-shirt I designed that she's had her eye on.  If HotPants wins she'll get the Twilight statue she's been wanting.

If YOU win, you'll like it.  That's allz I'm saying.

TEAM LEE

 AV

 cog

 HotPants

 Eeka

 Jespy
Kimi
Mikey

TEAM CRYSTAL

Memzy

Jana

Landee

Anna

SolidGold

Flemmy
Stands
RT
Stacey

AI: Thank Goodness It's Almost Over

I can barely bring myself to type something up here as my interest level has all but vanished.  But let's see what we can do...
 

LEE

 His Choice: The Boxer

 Producer's Choice: Everybody Hurts

 Single if He Wins: Beautiful Day

My little shorter, better looking version of the guy I dated Freshman year at BYU.  My little guy who I used to refer to as Zero Exposure because that is exactly what he got during the audition portion of this show.   My little parched singer... did you see those nasty saliva strings as he sang The Boxer??  Someone get that boy a drink fhs!  Gross.  I was thoroughly disgusted.   And during Everybody Hurts, the camera panned the audience and there was a freaking TELEPROMPTER scrolling the lyrics.  Did anyone else see that?  I've always been amazed at how these guys can learn these songs every week, and at the end they are learning several different songs....now I feel duped....bamboozled...speckledorfed (spongebob).  PS I guess they realized the original Idol songs were a bust, eh?  Beautiful Day was O.K.  Kinda lackluster though he did almost smile a little once.

 CRYSTAL

 Her Choice: Me & Bobby McGee

 Producer's Choice: Black Velvet

 Single If She Wins: Up To The Mountain

 Glad her unshowered, hippy look made another appearance.  It's always good to remind people how you'd look if it weren't for the stylists.  Yuck.  I've decided that her voice reminds me of how Kathryn Hepburn spoke.  Or maybe how Martin Short impersonated Kathryn Hepburn speaking.  Either way, it's choppy & e-e-e-e-h-y.  You know what I'm sayin?  I did NOT like her Black Velvet performance.  First of all, it was like she was building up the courage to walk down those stairs in those heels.  Then she waddled along like a man and sucked.  Jespy said she walked like E.T.  And I laughed uproariously.    But here is where it gets interesting.... I actually kinda liked Up To The Mountain.  I wonder how many other fence-sitters agree with me here.  That may have been the song that made it so Lee doesn't have a guarantee win on his hands.  Huh?  Huh?  What do you think?  Granted, her beyond lame & corny jokes at the end ("I'm beside myself...well, actually I'm beside Ryan Seacrest" and "Meows the time...") were a total turn off for ME, but there may be others out there who either didn't hear them or doesn't care about such things. 


So, on that note, I'm saying CRYSTAL wins.  Just to clarify, this is not what I desire.  I like Lee way better.   I just think tonight may have been the butterfly wings that caused a tsunami (if this season were at all as dramatic as a tsunami, that is...it's really more like the allergy in the air that caused a sneeze).

Pick the winner in the comments.  50 points for a correct answer.

Go.

Points from last week, btw:

Eeka: 40 (83)

Jespy: 40 (80)

Memzy: 40 (80)

Jana: 40 (79)

Landee: 40 (78)

Anna: 40 (77)

HotPants: 40 (76)

Flem: 40 (73)

cog: 40 (72)
Stands: 40 (71)

Mikey: 40 (69)

Stacey: 40 (69)

RT: 40 (68)
AV: 40 (65)

SolidGold: 40 (55)

Kimi: 20 (51)

Markie: 0 (19)

Zeus Almighty

Introducing the newest member of the Anderson Family.  

Zeus Almighty Anderson

Can you tell someone has enjoyed The Lightening Thief series?  That someone is JBird.

He has wanted "his own pet" (apparently Maggie does not count) for a couple of years now.  Finally he decided he wanted a guinea pig.  Oy.  I was not excited about it.  But, after some discussion we decided that he might just be old enough and responsible enough to handle one.  We had him save his own money and he will continue to have to buy the food and bedding stuff for him.   We have been shopping around the local pet stores and were so glad when this little guy was still at Petco when JBird had finally saved up enough money for the cage, the guinea pig, the food, the water bottle, etc.

 Isn't he adorabibble?

 My favorite feature of him, which we didn't even notice until we got him home, is that the front & back feet on his right side are white and the ones on the left side are dark brown.  I bet the other guinea pigs made fun of him for it though.

Yesterday was actually the greatest day of JBird's life.  

He got his little Zeus but before that, he had double header baseball games.  He has wanted to pitch for a couple of years.  At the beginning of this year they started working him into the rotation of pitchers.  He would come in and be a closer every once in a while and he did a great job.  One time he got three kids out in only 11 pitches.   He has now worked his way up to be their number one starting pitcher.  They "save" him for the big games.  He's their left-handed secret weapon, basically.  Wait,  I think they call it southpaw in baseball.  Anyway....

...yesterday he started and he got the win!  Here he is striking some poor sucker out.  That kid didn't even know what hit him.

A happier dad kid you will never see. 

AI: Most Obvious Results To Date

Sorry Kimi.  I wish you woulda been right.  Srsly.

First of all, how dry & uninformative was that Q&A with the finalists?  Wow.   I had to doodle in my notebook to stay awake.

Ryan: So, are you busy during the week between performances?
Contestant: Yes.  Very busy.  I didn't realize how busy I'd be.

::snore::

::refusing to like anything "discovered" by Perez Hilton but not fast forwarding either::


Hometown Visits


Casey-  Who are all these people??  The crying girls?  The screaming fans?  Are you telling me there are people out there who are LOVING this season?  I couldn't wrap my head around that.  Doesn't make sense.  I wonder how impressed that doctor was to get that guitar, btw.  He seemed kinda like "Um, thanks?"  I bet he sold it on eBay.  He's cute though.  No one can take that away from him. 

::randomly start giggling thinking about that lady who chased after Gokey's limo last year until she just couldn't keep up::     ::giggling again as I type this::

Crystal-  Now, you know I lived in Toledo, OH for two years, right?  Well, I did.  And I'm fairly certain that was not our mayor back then.  I would have remembered the backwards leather cabby hat and leather vest with all the pins on it like he works at TGIFriday's.  And BOWERSTOCK?  Oh my gosh.  Get serious.  Yes, let's compare this has-been-before-she-ever-was to one of the most famous musical festivals of all time.  Yeah, that works.  And her song "Holy Toledo" has given hope to all of NW Ohio?  Really Crystal?  Gimme a break.  I'm so done with her and her cocky tude.  Done, I say!

Lee- Throwing out the first pitch at a Cubbies game?  Not to shabby there, Mr. Dewyze.  And I love how they had to go back to his elementary school.  I'm guessing the "alternative high school" he attended is on some kind of lock down situation or something.  His dad looked genuinely touched as Lee sang The Boxer but his mom looked like she was Fakey Fakerson.  Like "Oh, the camera is on me, I better look all choked up."  Do with that observation what you will.

 ::start feeling sorry for the grow men who are Justin Bieber's back up dancers/singers::

Results: LEE & CRYSTAL through.  CASEY heading back to Cool, TX. 

Since everyone except Kim voted the same I'll do the points later.  There won't be much movement in the standings.

Thank you again for all of you who have stuck through with this ghastly season.  It's almost over, you gize.  We've almost made it.

AI: Top 3 Lack Luster Finalists

::sigh::

So this is it, America.  Your Top Three.

 I vaguely remember last season's Top Three show.  I had butterflies.  I was giddy.  I couldn't WAIT to see what songs they had chosen, what the judges had chosen for them, to get my fingers busy voting (for Kris Allen)... but this year?   I was hurrying to get through it so I could get to Glee & The Biggest Loser (an emotional week where the final 4 go home to train for a marathon).  I don't care who wins.  I don't care who loses.  As long as it's the person I pick for the contest, that is.

But enough about me.  Let's get on with it.

CASEY

His choice: Ok, It's Alright With Me by Eric Hutchinson

Judges' choice (Randy & Kara): Daughters by John Mayer

The Eric Hutchinson song was aaaaaight.  I mean, you know, typical Casey doing the typical Casey thing.  Which, btw, I think was the point here.  He wanted to show what kind of artist he would be and this certainly proved the point that this season is bleh.  The John Mayer song, on the other hand, was actually really really good.  I may be biased in that I really like that song but that also goes to show how Casey's song choices, when left up to him, suck.  So what's he gonna do in the studio later?  When it's all up to him?  Huh?  A: Lame songs that no one wants to buy.  Prove me wrong, Casey.  Prove. Me. Wrong.

 CRYSTAL 

Her choice: Come to My Window by ((SHOCKER!!!)) Melissa Etheridge

Judge's choice (Ellen): Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney

Thank goodness she pulled her harmonica/neck brace thingy out again.  I'd almost forgotten about that annoying thing.  And srsly, Crystal....Melissa Etheridge?  Really?  Haven't you been singing her every week already?  Could you be anymore predictable? (<-- say like Chandler).  Ugh.  But again, if it was supposed to show her future endeavors in music then, hey, spot on.  Now we can only hope no one buys Melissa Etheridge albums anymore for a reason.  And not cuz they're homophobic.   As for the Paul McCartney song, it makes me uncomfortable to see her without her guitar.  I think it's cuz I look at her teeth more closely.  And, I don't care how white they try to get those things, there are still some missing.  And it's yucky.

LEE

His choice: Simple Man by Leonard Skynard

Judge's Choice (Simon): Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley

What are the chances of picking two songs by two different people named Leonard?   But yeah, best of the night, no question.  I was pleasantly surprised and entertained by his first song.  And while I think Simon's pick is a bit "overdone" on AI, I still think it was a great performance.  And I enjoyed seeing him get a little overwhelmed and emotional.  He usually plays it so straight it was good to see him get a little teary.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Safety Dance routine to watch a million times & learn.

 MY PICKS FOR BOTTOM TWO: Casey & Crystal

GOING HOME: Casey

 I realize I'm playing it safe but I'm not trying to "have a moment" this season.  I'm just trying to stay above water here.

Points awarded will be 10 points for each bottom two chosen correctly.  20 points for the correct person chosen to go home this week.  That's a possible 40 pts. right there.

 Good luck.

YOUR PICKS

Camp Crystal CASEY

Mikey

Memzy

AV

Jana 

RT

SolidGold

Stands

Eeka
Anna
Jespy
Flem

HotPants
cog

Camp Casey CRYSTAL

Kimi

Camp We Don't Know Yet

Markie

Stacey

 

I respect Kimi for being a little risk taker.  It could pay off big time.  It might do some of you losers unfortunate souls there at the bottom some good to try and take a little risk as well...what's the harm?  I mean, right?  Feel free to switch your vote up until about 6pm this evening.