Wednesday, March 9, 2011

AI: Season 10 Inaugural Post

::moment of silence for Brett Loewenstern::

I didn't even get a chance to talk about how he has two of the most attractive parents I've ever seen and yet.... he was adorable though.  In his own quirky way.  Sad to see him go.

::moment of jubilation that the AI posts are back!!!::  Please feel free to add your two cents in the comments as this is the first time we've discussed this season!!   I've missed you.

A quick word about the judges before we get started.

My mom loves Steven Tyler.  <---- this is a sentence I never thought I'd think/write/ type/believe.  But how can I blame her?  He is nice.  He is fun.  He can even be tender (do NOT remind me of him hugging what's his face's girlfriend in the wheelchair.  I've cried my tears and I can't go back to that place).   During auditions, if he didn't think someone was good, he'd usually just say "No" rather than the degrading, one-liners we are used to from that Brit Who Must Not Be Named.  Glad Mr. Tyler is here.   The following is an actual conversation between a friend and his dad.  The Dad:  Wow... Paula looks awful.  The Friend: Dad, that's Steven Tyler.

JLo:  Sincere.  Knowledgable.  Kind.  Helpful.  Gorge.   Not on pain meds.  I could not have asked for a better female judge.  Nigel Lythgoe is a genius of epic proportions for bringing her in.

Randy:  Oh boy.  Randy is trying to be the "bad guy" and is looking like a doof in the mean time.  But what else is new?  It's actually kind of comforting.  Like your favorite bwankie that you got to bring with you when you slept over at Gramma's house.  Makes it seem like home even though things are different. I'm glad he stuck around.  Every panel needs a doof.

And no, Ryan is not a doof.  He has grown on me over the years.  No Ryan bashing.

Now, the contestants.  Love the theme tonight, btw.... "SONG BY THEIR PERSONAL IDOL"  This will show me the kind of artist they wanna be & I will then be able to hate/love/mock accordingly.  They make it too easy.

First up....

Personal Idol: Shania Twain
Song: Any Man of Mine

Is it just me or did that look like I was watching the talent portion of a Toddlers & Tiaras episode?  Too much winking, fluffing her hair and cheesy smiling.  She's cute and she's talented but I can tell right now her taste and mine are not gonna get along.  You all know my aversion to country.  Plus, ::checking clipboard::  yup, we already have a Carrie Underwood.  Sorry Lauren.

Personal Idol: Joe Cocker
Song: A Little Help From My Friends

I.  Love.  This.  Guy.   He is a genius.  There, I said it.  It's out there now.  And I don't think it's an overstatement.   He has yet to let me down going all the way back to his audition.  The perfect song choice to show off his personality and sense of humor.  And he has a great voice which is exponentially more pleasing that Joe Cocker's voice.  This makes for a beautiful, nay I say, magical thing.  Absolutely my favorite this season.  You know, so far.

Personal Idol: Diana Ross
Song: When You Tell Me That You Love Me"

So the hair is because of her love of Diana Ross?  Or she's doing Diana Ross because her hair looks like that?  I'm confused.  But yeah, she was obviously nervous.  Then was better toward the end.   She's definitely pretty.  I don't know how much she & I have in common musically but I don't loathe her.

Personal Idol: Ryan Adams

Song: Come Pick Me Up

Too much movement up there.  It's disconcerting.  It almost comes off as him being so nervous he doesn't know what to do with himself.   He skipped at one point fhs.  I really want him to tone it down though because I do like his style and musical tendencies.  Does he play the guitar?  Cuz I'd love to see him sitting on a stool with a guitar.  Not moving.  At all.

Personal Idol: Celine Dion
Song: All By Myself

Yes she done sang that song.  Hit all the notes.  Showed the right amount of emotion.  "Slammed it" as Mr. Tyler said.... and yet.... ::sigh::  I don't know.  Can't get past the cape.  And can't get past the name Pia.  It shows poor judgement is in the genes.  ::chanting "Pia, Pia, diarrhea" in my head and can't stop::  Not scratching me where I itch.  I'm realizing this is my feeling for all the girls though so don't hold it against her too much.

Personal Idol: Paul McCartney
Song: Maybe I'm Amazed

::checking clipboard again:: Yup, we already have an Adam Lambert.  ::reading fine print:: Oh wait!  But not a straight one with ADHD.  Yay! You can stay.   No, not one of my favorites but I do find him interesting.  He did a great job with this song that I enjoy.   And, as Jenny has mentioned, he never takes it quite over the top.  You think he might...then he doesn't.   He's teasing us.  I think 86% of America likes being teased so he's not going anywhere for a while.

Personal Idol: LeAnn Rimes
Song: Blue

Hmmmmmmmmm.... interesting.  She kinda made me like country and yodeling for 2 minutes.  Is that weird?  And this is the best she's ever looked by far.  But I agree with Randy a bit... she's confusing me. Only 8% of Americans like being confused so we'll see how this shakes out.

Personal Idol: R.Kelly
Song:  I Believe I Can Fly

This boy has dressed up in drag before.  I would bet at least $20 on it.  He would give RuPaul a run for his/her money.   I don't judge him for that but I just wanted to let YOU know that I know.  A GOSPEL CHOIR ALREADY????   That's supposed to be finale material only!   What the?   He can only go down hill from here.  Unless he brings in bagpipes or something.  I'm personally not a fan of this one.   This is an example of taking it over the top & making us all go with him even though we might be prone to motion sickness.  Ugh.  I felt woozy afterward.  Next.

Personal Idol: Michael Jackson
Song: Smile

I liked it.  I reeeeally liked it.  This girl is good.  I didn't even hear the "pitchy" that the judges talked about.  I thought it was perfect for her age and persona.  I'm not sure she has much of a personality but I can't be picky when it comes to the girls this year.  If I don't curl my lip or get up and go do something else while they sing then they are deemed "good" this year.  And so it must be.

Personal Idol: Stevie "You Are A" Wonder
Song: Lately

I'm so glad Tony Danza's son is finally getting his chance to shine.  The first part was weird.  Then the end got better.  He's adorable but not in my top three guys.  I have nothing else to say about him.  Which speaks volumes.

Personal Idol: Selena
Song: I Could Fall In Love

If she didn't have those Selena barbie dolls I would think this was a blatant attempt to kiss JLo's butt.  Side note:  That movie was the first thing I remember seeing JLo in.  I remember at the end of the movie they showed pictures of the actual Selena and I was like "Wow, she is buttugly compared to the actress that played her."  I was literally shocked.  I kinda wanna see that movie again now.  Side note over.   Oh boy this was bad.  It had a couple of nice moments but they were fleeting.  No chance of her having a fan club let alone getting killed by the president of it.  <--- super bad Selena joke.  My apologies.

Personal Idol: Garth Brooks
Song: The River

Now this is come country music I can get on board with.  This little 12 year old George W. Bush looking kid done stoled a piece of my heart.  Doesn't it sound like his voice is being dubbed in?  I mean, that voice can't be coming outta him.  I don't believe it.  It makes me laugh liltingly with enjoyment.  And eeeeek!  Did you go back and pause it on his baby pic??  His widdle red cowboy hat??  C'mon!  I won't buy a single one of his songs later but I love him.  I do.

Personal Idol: Rhianna
Song: Umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay

Woooooooow.   That was... um,  something, huh?  Little piece of advice Naima, show us you can sing first, dance moves later.  We are still getting to know each other here.  Too soon, N.  Too soon.  I didn't hate the Snow Patrol-esque bit though.  It was definitely the highlight.  The rest was lame.  And anyone over the age of 16 and under the age of 14 is gonna hate it.  Thirteen contestants may have been one too many me thinks.




Your turn.


Nathan said...

I have watched only 1 episode of idol this year because of time change, boring an stuff, but even having not seen it this made me laugh. Hilarious laugh. I think I'll go back and watch it today just because then I'll laugh more.

michelangelo said...

I can't believe the bottom 3 would be all girls. I really want Lusk in the bottom 3. He bugged me so bad. But I don't think America dislikes him like I do.

Bottom 3

Going home

Memzy said...

::ginorm sigh:: This feels so good.

solidgold (a.k.a. our family) said...

I love your AI blogposts more than AI itself.

Eric said...

Oh my gosh, reading this is about 20 bazillion times more entertaining than watching the actual show. LOL at Lusk's gospel choir and Naima's dance moves. oh and Babylockthemdoors = George W.

Bottom 3:

(I'm not copying, it's just the way I feel, man.)

Gone: Naima

Jana said...

oops- ME ^

Memzy said...

Ok also, yes, yes and more yes. But I have to disagree with your Pia assessment. She rools. And why not "Thea Magia diarrhea"?


Krissy said...

Girls drool, boys rool (at least in AI) I do like Pia however, i am not a big fan of Thea or Ashton or any of the other girls for that matter. I had high hopes for Lauren but the last 2 weeks I have been extremely dissapointed. ah well.

Bottom 3

Going home: Ashton

Lee said...

Yes to everything you said and as memzy said, this does feel soooo right. Thanks for making my morning.

Actual quote from my son: "Doesn't it seem like people with my name are awesome at stuff?"

He meant it sincerely and it warmed my heart.

Chrissi Richards said...

Looooove the judges.
Lauren is pretty good, but it's all too yelly, overdone for me.
Casey: a real musician. authentic.
Ashton: gorg, talented. I don't like her 'tude. i like stars kind and gracious like beyonce'.
Paul is my Ryan Gosling. he'll tone the motion down. love his voice.
Pia: good. star quality, but boring song
James: Joe looves him. love his voice.
Haley: i like her. her voice rules and she's an appealing person.
Jacob: hilario. rad voice. would love to hear him sing the national anthem, but I couldn't hack an entire CD of him.
Thia: this would be nice easy listening music.
Stefano; total crush. the next teen idol
Karen: she's ok. but I loooove her mom. I want her mom to give me a big Mexicano hug and feed me and tell me I'm bonita.
Scotty. he's unique, but he bugs. still hasn't redeemed himself for being mean to that little kid with the sweet voice. The fact that I have already forgotten his name makes me cry. Lance?
Naima; out of breath. JLo got it right. she needs some control. this comes from my heart, not to be critical, but I want to buy her braces. I really do. It is such a disadvantage in life to have that distraction.
Bottom Three:
Tiff, I have to agree with you on all three bottoms and going home, Ashton

Annalisa said...

okay that was not Nathan leaving this comment...he was logged in online and I didn't realize. He has watched 0 episodes of AI compared to my 1.

Jenny ESP said...

Glad to see you back on the job, boss, even if you are a little late.

Only other thing I have to say... one bare arm and one long sleeve, I don't get it.

OK, ::placing my finger on the pulse of America:: here's my prediction...

Bottom 3

Going home

Carol said...

HELLO Landeelu!! So happy to look forward to your AI posts. As I watch each contestant I try to imagine how you are mocking/critiquing them.

My Fave--Casey--love him on so many levels.

I like Lauren but she hasn't done too well the last 2 times and I fear America will not support her.

Ashton-no-just no. The tude bugs.

Paul--yes, he has a cool raspy voice but his skinny jeans and skinny moves made me uncomfortable.

Pia--really like her but she looks too much like the lead on Glee (sorry, I don't watch the show).

James--I kindof like him but me no likey the screaming. His song last night was the best he's done so far.

Haley--good voice, bad song choice. America is not going to vote for twang.

Jacob-too much emotion and screaming but his voice is good.

Thia--love her voice but I'm afraid the sharks in the music industry would eat her alive.


Stefano-Tony Danza-whatever

Karen-just okay

Naima--good potential--bad control- bad hair-bad teeth-nice person--but no.

Carol said...

Bottom Three: Ashton, Lauren, Haley

Going home: Haley--it's the twang thing.

Landee said...

I knew it was you Annalisa. Nathan has never, not even ONCE laughed a "hilarious laugh" at/with me. He's so reserved in his affection <<-- my wording should indicate I'm currently listening to "Emma" on my phone.

Mikey, Lusk counts as a girl. Make no mistake. Oh, and I forgot the mention his spa concierge bit... why did AI make him do that? Embarassing.

I'm glad the majority of you are in agreement that the girls suck. I need more reason to like PIA PIA diarrhea though. Just "I dunno... I like her." isn't going to cut it. She's boring! Own it.

Lee, I agree but I need another "Casey being awesome" example. And Casey At Bat doesn't count cuz we all know he strikes out in a bad way. <--- just made me sad thinking about UV.

Chrissi!!! Thanks for chiming in!! And I totally agree with the braces. There's "adds character" teeth and then there's "borderline child abuse" teeth. Hers are the latter, of course. And the kid Scotty was allegedly mean to was Jacee (no. more. tears.) and I would submit he wasn't mean... but he didn't really stick up for him either. It was Goggles who was the instigator and America taught him a lesson. Try to forgive. A weight will be lifted as soon as you do.'s a dress mullet. Party on the right, church on the left.

Landee said...

AV you snuck in there. Or is it sneaked? Anyway, here is a direct quote from a texting convo I had with Miss Jespy last night regarding Thia:

JESPY: ...I was like oooo, this is really good, and then she broke it down to a funky beat....Don't know about that. Not that fresh. No reason to cry tho! She's definitely the best girl.

LANDEE: I liked her. A lot. She's so sweet and innocent. This business is gonna eat her alive.

JESPY: She's like Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.

You might not know what that last line means but, trust me, it's hilarious.

Please clarify what "Tony Danza--whatever" means. You don't think he looks like him? You think I'm a genius to point out the resemblance?

Carol said...

Absolutely--Stefano DOES look like Toni Danza or his son. Sorry I wasn't clear. The "whatever" was for his performance. It was OK but didn't move me. And the reference to Casey at the Bat and UV was sweet. I'm off to put a picture of AV as Casey on the blog now. It's priceless and should be shared with the masses.

Jennifer said...

I invited myself to your blog when I saw it posted on Facebook. It may not even take an entire season to vote off most of these people. Completely forgettable. The only one who is worth watching is Casey Abrams. I am sure Pia will have her own reality show following New Jersey Housewives ready in time for the fall lineup. Didn't that Paul McDonald sing some songs on the last Winnie-the-Pooh movie? Or was it the horse cartoon movie? Anyway, very Kenny Loggins. I am at a loss with Naima--just creepy. My bottom 3: Ashton, James, Karen

Morgan's Visual Idea journal said...

I would normally go through each of their performances here and give my 2 cents but I have to hurry and watch Teen Mom 2 before Morgan gets home. He hates that show. My bottom three are Ashton, Karen, and Stefano with Ashton going home.

Morgan's Visual Idea journal said...

That was me, Eek. I don't know why he is always on MY computer.

Hot Pants said...

I don't care who goes home as long as it's a girl and not Casey.

StandsMom said...

K. Everything in the world has just fallen back into place. Thank goodness for AI and for your blogging AI geniousness. I'll try to do this quicklike. Shania wannabe. Nope. Don't like her. Casey needs to trim that beard down. It kinda gives me the heebs. But quite talented, I agree. Very glad that Ashton is gone. I always have a mental list of a few that need to go home and I just wait for them to be voted off so I can scratch out their name. She's one. ::wiping the eraser shavings away:: Paul McDonald aka Kenny Loggins. Don't really like him. He hasn't done anything to impress me yet. Pia is GORGEOUS and she can SING and I really really really like her. I really do. Regardless of whether she wins or not, that girl deserves some attention and I hope she gets it. Hopefully she won't turn out to be weird or something. Mohawk turrets kid...I like him. I especially like that he has the chops to go way over the top but didn't. It was pleasant. I'm really curious to see what else this kid will do. Leanne Rimes. Booorrrrring. Dood with the choir singers...I couldn't have said it any better than you did. Oh help. Can I scratch him off my list next? Thia seems like she should be super good, but I think maybe it's too soon for her to be doing this. They should have sent her home and asked her to come back next year. Tony Jr hasn't caught my attention yet. I'll watch closer next week. Scotty what's his name butchered that Garth song. It was just awful. And I think I have a right to say that because my friend and I used to sing our hearts out to that song in her car all the time in high school. Meaning, I'm just very familiar with that song. Naima scares me and I hope we won't be forced to watch for very long. And when that lightening hit on the screen behind her during her song I rolled my eyes and audibly groaned. Come on, really? I think I forgot someone. Oh yeah, the Selena/Jlo suck up. Hm. I got nothin'. (scratching off my list)

Chrissi Richards said...

Tiff, joe has a different name for Googles, and it isn't that nice.
Snowflower and the Secret Fan.. hilario.

Markie23 said...

I'm really struggling with Idol this year. Mainly because I got rid of my super expensive cable and DVR, and Idol isn't on Hulu so if I wanna see it I have to watch it live with all the commercials and I gots better things to do with my time yo.
I haven't seen enough episodes to get attached to anybody, but my favorite girl is Magilla Gorilla. Casey is also my favorite guy, but here's my take on him; I think he could be America's favorite Idol, but for the same reasons as Taylor Hicks was. He's incredibly likeable, fun, great personality, and great voice. But I believe his professional career will pretty much go the same as my man Taylor's. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I still love Taylor H., still listen to his music, and it doesn't bother ME one bit that he hasn't sold a bajillion records. I LOVE that he won American Idol, and I'm rooting for Casey as well.

Markie23 said...

P.S. Why has Casey been in the Hospital? Inquiring minds want to know.

Jack RMQ said...

It's not Tony Danza's son, it's Joey on Friends...

Landee said...

Love it when the Pops joins in the discussion!! Yes, Joey Tribiani also falls under the doofus Italian stereotype. I guess we can go either way on this one. I wonder if he's smooth with the ladies or just in love with Angel-er and a doting father to Samantha.

Chrissi, text me Joe's nickname stat.

Markie...that is such a good point on Casey. Very Taylor Hicks-y. Hmmm....I'll need to think upon that as we go. I do think he's a BIT more current than Taylor though. I wonder what his album would be like. Let's try to solve this as the weeks go on. PS Can we start a Paypal account for you to get cable/DVR back? You may as well be pulling a handcart across the plains fhs!

Markie23 said...

lol... I'd be happy to take any donations.