Wednesday, February 24, 2010

AI: Girls Night Out

I think Kara was using the bangs Bumpit.

 Ellen is killin' it.  I've never-not-once regretted hiring her.

Simon says it's "the girls' year this year?" Don't think so.

Randy.  I have nothing to say here, and neither does he.  Ever.  I say next we replace him with Chris Rock.

Paige Miles
Alright Now by Free
She has no nickname because I just met her tonight.  And she didn't exactly give me anything to work with.  She's a huge MJ fan, which is good.  And she's not afraid to say pee on national television, which is also good.  But she's pretty much the norm as far as AI contestants go.  Bad song choice.  I felt like the judges piled on the praise in order to make up for her lack of previous exposure on the show.  Like the producers bossed them into it or something.  Because their accolades were undeserving, believachoome.

Happy by Leona Lewis
Another practical stranger I was reacquainted with this evening.  I feel like she is your run-of-the-mill pop singer type.  She sings well enough but here in Season 9 of AI, I don't think that will be enough.  It's not enough for me anyway.  I'm over it.  Combine that with her zero exposure and she could be in trouble. 

What About Love by Heart
Wow.  What a Nervous Nellie!!  Some start out nervous but relax by the end of their song.  Not Dimple.  She was crazy nervous through the whole song and the mic was shaking even on her last note.  This also made her a bit pitchy and awkward.  Not to mention her lack of originality.   She might not be gone this week but it will be soon if she doesn't shape up.

Fixing A Hole by The Beatles
Her hair was a more natural shade of platinum blonde tonight which was easier on my eye.  I enjoy her.  She's comfortable.  She's original.  She's one-off.   I like it.  I don't like her different feather earrings she keeps sporting though.  I'm beginning to think she has a disorder with her earlobes where they can't support any weight but she loves dangling earrings so these are her only option.   I mean, what would be the other explanation?  No one would wear feather earrings by choice.  Unless you used to live out of your car.... hmmm... something to think about.  Bottom line: Me likey.

Curly Sue
Oh! Darling by The Beatles
She's Kelly Clarkson's voice doppelganger!!  I closed my eyes for a bit and I swear, spittin image.  I love Kelly Clarkson but I wonder if we need another one.  And not just another one, but another one with huge blonde hair which distracts me from how cute she really is.  I want to see it straightened, or atleast tamed a bit.  It was sad to see her Dad not in the audience ::whispering:: her parents are getting divorced, remember?  I give her 7 out of 10 stars.

Chocolate Country (CC)
I Wanna Hold Your Hand by The Beatles
Gty made up that name, btw.  Not me.  I hate that she got her nose pierced.  HATE it.  Remember how the Terets guy wasn't affected by his Terets when he was singing?  I wish CC wasn't affected by her lisp when she was singing, but alas, she is.  I can see how she has some "originality" but it's not MY kind of originality.  She's too cutesy and young.  I may be turning into a crotchety old curmudgeon but I don't like the young whippersnappers anymore. 

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
Wow she was bad.  I mean, reeeeeally bad.  Painfully bad.  I had a sour look on my face and my shoulders pulled up to my ears the whole performance.  She sounded just like Bjork which is one of the meanest things someone can say about a singer.  Plus nose piercing.  And lack of personality.  Bad hair.  She's in trouble.

Michelle Delamour
Falling by Alicia Keys
Eh.  I don't know.  Obviously she can sing & everything but she's so....Whitney Houston.  It may have been the song choice though.  She's not my kind of artist but she can definitely sing.  Her lack of exposure could also be detrimental to her cause.

The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson
I'm a fan.  I've always been a fan.  I like the song but I think the judges made some good points.  It was a little "low key" and "slow."  At the same time, I think her rockin out would seem forced and weird.  And then they'd blast her for not being true to herself or something lame like that.   I did hate her updated hippie look though.  Unflattering to the nth degree. 

Shabown the Glass Blower
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
There was about a year of my life where I was obsessed with this song.  OB. Sessed.  This reminded me that I need to get it back into my iTunes asap.  But enough about me.  Doesn't she remind you of Rachel on Glee?  Same strained facial expressions like she wants it so bad she can almost taste it.  Similar tone to her voice.  I'm beginning to think that, outside the singing, she might be the most interesting person on here.  A glass blower apprentice?  C'mon.  This has to be a joke, right?  No?  Ok.  I wanna know what her tattoo is too.  I hate tats but hers is probably intriguing.   But ew, another nose piercing.  What is this world coming to?

Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morisette
I'm obviously following all the contestants on Twitter (I do it for you, the reader, not my own personal enjoyment) and DT had an interesting tweet on her second day... "let me just clear one thing up. I rinse, repeat. Just like normal hair. I just don’t have to fuss with styling it...."  So yeah.  Just like normal hair.  I may need to start calling her Dreds tho because her teeth looked 58% better tonight!  She never woulda gotten her nickname had her teeth looked like this before.  Do you think she's got fake ones on or just used some Crest White Strips?  I'm dying to know.  Either way, bravo, AI...bravo.  As for her performance, I detest the harmonica neck brace but I enjoyed her performance.  She falls into the Melissa Ethridge/Indigo Girls/other lesbian artists category, no question.  I like that category so izzallgood.  Her clean cut husband throws me for a loop though.  I don't get it.

Feeling Good by Michael Buble
Thank goodness they showed poor old Granny again because I think she is the one that picked Alz's song, earrings and headband.  What is she, like, 40?  Wait no.  17.  Hmmmm... again, me no likey the youngins.  Even when they act 3x their age.  Go home Diana Digarmo 2.0.  

Predictions of who is gone:  Kate+8 and maybe CC.  But I'm also open to one of the strangers we met tonight as well as I don't know how well they introduced themselves.  I feel bad for Kate+8.  This would mean she only got one more step beyond last year.  But srsly.  It was awful.

Eeeeeeek!  Boys tonight!  I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.   


StandsMom said...

So...I missed the first few girls. I will visit the dvr today to recap. I started in at the Fleetwood Mac song and it was so painful!! How can you finally make it into the 24 and suck so bad? Yikes. I think she's probably rather pretty, but she's got SO much makeup on and her hair is so distracting that it's hard to see. Michelle Dela--big teeth actually has quite a voice. I think they're expecting big things from her. DD was pretty good at sounding like Engrid, but it seemed whiny sounding to me. I was kind of annoyed at that performance, but I want to hear her again. Shabown, interesting name, was okay. I wasn't looking at her while she was singing. But I did love that look she had put together when they showed her glass-blowing. Is that a Mary Poppins looking tattoo? I would instantly love her if that's what it is. I saw a person and an umbrella. I'll be rechecking that. I perked right up with anticipation when Not-so-dirty-anymore-teeth came out. I'm expecting great things from her and I'm going to be personally offended if she screws up. I think telling her that she has to do better than a coffee shop performance was dead on. I want her around for a LONG time. I don't like Alz either.

So, they started the recap through the pics of the boys dancing to show us who is up for tonight and I was like...oh kay, whatever...until they showed Casey and then it was like when you touch a lightswitch and get a shot of static electricity and all of a sudden I remembered that I can't wait to see him perform. It better be good, gosh darn it.

Glo said...

ok, what's with the nose rings? so nasty 90's grunge . I was dying at that lisp, how could they let someone on a singing show who has a speech impediment that you can hear while they sing--did you notice that the cause of that list is probably her insanely fat/wide tongue? yuck.

solidgold (a.k.a. our family) said...

I agree with you, don't think it's the girls this year.
No magical-David Archeleta-singing- IMAGINE-moments for me.
Although my favorite is the Denver Lilac and the weepy waitress.
DT can sing and I agree her teeth looked better but the harmonica totally bugs me. She's just too Willie Nelson for me. It's gotta go.
I'm really liking Ellen too, but 4 judges is too many, don't you think? After hearing two, I kinda tune out.
3's just a better #. Get rid of Randy. Actually you, YOU need to replace Randy once Simon goes. Can we petition that they have AI JUDGE auditions?

Kim said...

If you look back at previous stuff of DT you will see her teeth are NOT shaped or sized the same as they were last night. Caps/clippers ala toddlers and tiaras. Ellen completes me. And what is awes is she uses her show in the daytime to bring the losers on so that's .... rilly kewl.

Landee said...

Dang. Now Imma have to start recording Ellen. My DVR is going to explode. I guess that 2006 BYU v. Utah football game will need to be deleted. Don't tell Gty.

eekareek said...

I am thinking about suing AI for the 2 hours I wasted watching last night's show. Even the people that I like sucked. I found myself wanting to push the fast forward button through the show and hit play during the commercials. Who ever goes I am okay with it because they ALL deserve to go.

And Dirty Teeth bugged me with saying that she doesn't watch the show and she would have never auditioned except that she is just wanting to provide for her son. Don't act like your cooler than us. We all know you watched the show. If all you want is to provide for your kid, then go get a job.

Come on boys, make me a believer again in AI. It is up to you.

P.S. I was strangely missing Pauler with her swaying, dancing moves.

Anonymous said...

I like to sing Wicked Games at karaoke. Simon Cowell can kiss my butt. Randy Jackson rocks! Have you ever seen him in the Journey concert videos? Dawg can sport some pink and white polka-dots!

Jenny ESP said...

Yes, yes, and yes.

The most annoying, over played old navy commercial in the history of commercials... or, why Jespy hates that lame Ingrid Michelson song:

Memzy said...

She shoulda done a DIFF Ingrid michaelson song that other people haven't heard of so much. Rainbow afgan vest!!!!!!


Carol said...

Just so you know. . . .my plan during these first few rounds of AI is to DVR it, wait for your comments. . .then watch it whilst reading (on my iphone) your take on each singer. It worked great. I watched the girls this morning--a two hour show in 30 minutes. Awesome. Later today I'll do the same with the guys. Thanks for making my life so much better. Love you.

Carol said...

p.s. Your dad just asked me to be his friend on facebook. What is the world coming to. Jack on facebook? LOL