Thursday, February 18, 2010

American Idol: Landee Gets Back to The Real Purpose of Her Life

I'm just gonna shoot from the hip, make snap judgments and grasp at straws here since I don't know much about these poor innocent people that American Idol has decided to put up for our scrutiny.  But I'll have fun doing it.  Cuz what reality TV is all about. ::said like my friend Ryan Seacrest::

Let's spend a day on the guys, shall we?  We shall.  I welcome all suggestions for nicknames, btw. Nothing is ever set in stone.  These are in no particular order, except from my favorite to least favorite:

Mmmmmm.... Casey..... hi.  I'm Landee.  Yes, his audition was a bit embarrassing, what with the removal of his shirt and all, but the second I saw him playing that guitar in Hollywood I was hooked.  I don't blame Kara for that leg kick when he hugged her.  I'm surprised that's all she did actually.  He's like the bluesyness of Bo Bice with the hair of Constantine and the laid back confidence of Kris Allen all wrapped into one tall drink of water with piercing blue eyes!  Plus, he's about to make the name Casey cool so I say yes please.


The Latino Gokey.  
This is strictly because of the glasses as he and Gokey are NOTHING alike in any other way.  Examples: Gokey was a worship pastor guy.  Andrew has neck tattoos.  Gokey's wife died.  Andrew's wife has insane hair most people wouldn't be caught dead having.   Gokey sucked.  Andrew is amaaaaaazing.  Truly.  His Pauler Abdul's "Straight Up?"  Please.  He's gonna be tough to beat this year.   Did you know you can follow all the contestants on Twitter this year?  Go HERE for their usernames if you're interested.  They also have MySpaces and Facebooks.  The point is, as I went through and clicked FOLLOW on each of them it would show you how many followers they already had.  Many were under 200.  Some surpised me with 400-500 followers.  Then I clicked on Andrew..... 4,000+ followers already!!!   So I guess I'm not the only one.  (Sad that Thaddeus & his mom even thought they had a chance going up against Andrew.  I mean, be serious).

You know, being funny goes a long way for me.  And The ToddRodd is funny.  I  usually hate when people audition with "an original song" but his was enjoyable.  Then when he was picking up on those girls at the pool and was like "Will you be my fiance?  Can I meet your parents?  Do they know I'm black?"  I was laughing.  Plus, he's good.  He's not cocky and apparently he's actually a trained dancer, has never done any singing.  I like good, natural talent. We'll try to forget he was in cahoots with Fantasia for a while there.

Big Mike.
The fattest personal trainer I've ever seen but, whatareyagonnado?  I love it when he picks up Ryan like Ryan is 3 years old.  He also so big his guitar looks like a ukulele.   But I enjoy him.  No one expects a voice like his to come out of a body like that so it's interesting.  I do have one more shots of his wife in the hospital!!  She's all naked and disgusting.  Srsly.  Yuck.  But congrats to him on the new baby.  I was on the edge of my seat while she was pushing on the phone. ::gag::

The rest are in no particular order.  They're all at the bottom of the list for me for various reasons but I don't dislike or like one more than I dislike or like the other.

The Token Asian Guy
They blew past him making it last night and I don't remember much about his audition but I do remember thinking he was good.  And he's cute.  Bottom line: I was happy he was in so I could see more.  I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Lee Flemster
Zero exposure, which I think he should sue the show for, but the 20 seconds I heard him sing I enjoyed him.  Kind of a rocker, husky voiced semi-attractive guy.  Nothing to hate.  Nothing to love.  I can't wait to hear what he does next week.  He could be the next Daughtry for all I know.

Tim "The Luckiest Sucker Alive" Urban
If it looks like this picture was taken by his mom in front of a red wall, it's because it probably was.  See, Tim Urban got into the top 24 only after a secret record contract was unearthed for Chris Golightly causing him to be disqualified (I won't miss Chris' awful hair, I'll tell you that right now).  So apparently they couldn't get the original photographer to come back for poor Tim's photo shoot.  My opinion on him?  So glad you asked.... I have none. He's cute but seems like he's 12 years old.  

Alex "We already have a Lambert" Lambert
Unfortunate last name.  Really unfortunate.  And it's not his fault, it just is.  I do like his Jason Mraz feel though.  However, as much as I enjoy the ukulele, I am wondering if he can make it cool.  There's just something about that miniature guitar that prevents it from being too awesome.  I wonder if he can play a regular guitar.  That would be a plus.  I'm up in the air on him.  He seems boring.  But I wouldn't hate for him to prove me wrong.

 Wrong Decade
His Jay Leno chin and Joker smile don't do much for me.  Neither do his skinny jeans and swagger around the stage.  And I don't even think he sings very well.  He's gonna kill it during Rolling Stones week tho.  Mariah Carey week will be tough for him.

Archuletta 2.0
This adorable kid has about another year before he realizes he's gay and then another 2 years before he up and tells his aunt/mom.  I'm not feeling it for him but it's probably because he seems so fragile to me.  This show is going to crush him.  I guarantee he's already an emotional wreck.  Without the Mormon factor (that Archy 1.0 had) he's just a scared little boy who I have no interest in.

I promise I've watched every episode of this season's AI and I've never seen this guy before.  Not in auditions, not in the first round of Hollywood, not in group....never.  Ever.  I think there's been a mix up.

Dbag Diva
He's at the bottom here for a reason.  I hate him.  Complaining about the band?  Are you kidding me?  Never diss the band.  Just look at his face up there.  Intolerable.  He and his checkered suspenders need to leave.  I'm surprised the judges put him through after that move but I don't forgive as easily as they do, apparently.  The only person I hated more than him was Mary.  Thank goodness she got what was coming to her.  I just hope DBag is off the first week.  

So there you have it.  My take on the Top 12 Guys so far.  I think it's a decent group.  Lots of talent and diversity.  I will also say that I'm enjoying Ellen's addition to the panel.  She can be a bit chatty when delivering news but she won't be like that for the live shows.  Her humorous comments are just what this show needed.  I can't even pretend to miss Pauler.


Kim said...

I can't comment here due to a conflict of interest. Sorry.

Hot Pants said...

I was so bummed that guy who ran crying into the bathroom with his mom didn't make it. Only cuz I LOVED how he said he heard the judges saying he was awesome when really they were dissing him.

Kim said...

but can we have a sidebet on how long it takes the magical makeuppers to totally cap dreads teeth? They will at least give her clippers like on toddlers and tiaras.

Jenny ESP said...

Thanks for giving me something to read while I sit at the park and eat my TacoBell. We are pretty much N'Syc this year, no guyliners to tear us apart. I would bump up Dickens (Aaron) and place him just under Eric (Asian guy), as he won for best sob story. You need to work on these nicknames too. Way too many actual names. So glad you're back in AI business!

Kimmie--flippers, not clippers. Clippers are those chicken cutlet things they stuff in the toddler's bras.

Landee said...

Kim, now let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I will discuss the girls tomorrow. But I'd say they already have her going on a round of Crest White Strips at the very least.

HotP, I also loved how Thaddeus was like "They said they liked me... I guess they are just fakers." His mom was intolerable tho. I'm glad he's gone cuz of her.

Jesp, just give me better nicknames and I'll take a vote with myself to see if they should be added. It's as easy as that. I'm kinda sad there is no Guyliner this year to cause a rift. It was kinda fun fighting with you last year. ::sigh:: Maybe someone will step up and cause you to have a lame opinion I don't agree on later.

eekareek said...

Eeeeek!!!! This is my favorite time of year! Your blog for A.I. is absolutely wunderbar!

So far I am in complete agreement with you. Ahhhhhhh, Casey. I will vote for him no matter what.

It also needs to be said that I LOVE Guyliners new song. "Whatda want from me, whatda want from me" I like to see it really loud while crying and driving alone at night. Its therapeutic.

Markie23 said...

I was so happy to see your AI comments back again... until that last sentence.

(PS Yer mean)

Hot Pants said...

I LOVE a non gay way. And I can totally picture Sara singing with her mascara and eyeliner running down her face. So deep.

Jenny ESP said...

The image Sara just painted in my mind... hilarious! I love that song. It's so full of angst.

Go ahead and call them by their given names, Tiffany, if you don't like my suggestions. I'll try not to doze off every time I read them. But on my blog, they'll be Dirty Teeth, Bushy Brows, Sexy Face, and Eric.

Landee said...

You guys are insufferable. The girl talk is TOMORROW! I will be using SexyFace & Eric tho. Thanks.

Cristin said...

What would I do without you? I would totally be in the dark if it wasn't for your AI updates.

Memzy said...

The only thing I disagree on is Casey. Talented and interesting--revy yes. Attractive?--barf. You DID see him with his shirt off right? And he tops off at 100 el bees soaking wet.

Landee said...

^^ Can't see past the hair. She's so conservative. It's not surprising though since she's never let her boys' hurr grow longer than 1/4 inch.

And he's at least 160 lbs. although some weight lifting wouldn't kill him. But barf? It's not like this is the first week's weigh in on The Biggest Loser or something. THAT is barf worthy. Not a slender angelic-faced man.

Memzy said...

^^I forgot likes her men of the hairy/"natural-man" variety.

Annalisa said...

I'm behind due to olympics and other things. I now have a desire to watch my hours of DVR. Thanks for the recap..

SuzyQ said...

Tiffany, I need to admit I read your blog once in a while. Loved this post. :)

StandsMom said...

I have to say the same, my dear. To Casey - yes please.