Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Take: Group Uno

Turn off the reverb machine!!!

Stop showing Ted Danson!!!

Why is Neil Patrick Harris there???

Drug test Pauler pre-show!!!

Let's begin:

Spandex: Worst outfit in the history of AI. I thought she was OK as far as performance goes but I don't know if it'll make up for that belt. Her personality is cute but I can see it getting tiresome if she doesn't learn when to shut her yapper.

Greg Braddy of Braddy Bunch Fame: I promise you I've never seen him before and I've been dissecting ever episode with a fine tooth comb. Also, at the end when they were showing everyone again I had totally forgotten about him. He's like musical oatmeal.

Pixie (Alexis Grace): There was this really annoying lady in South Carolina who insisted people call her daughter "Audrey Grace." So I can't entirely enjoy Pixie onnacuzza that, but I don't hate her. She may do well but I won't be voting for her at this point. It's cool that her dad is Meatloaf tho.

Dimples: Holy cow he's cute. And I thought his wife was his mom. It's unfortunate that I detest country music so much cuz this is apprently "the kind of artist he will be." But yeah, I could eat cereal outta those dimples and be just fine.

Stevie Sixteen Years Old: Sad. She's so gonzo it's not even worth discussing her here.

AnoopDawg: Love him!! If I could guarantee he'd be on the other end of the line I'd call tech support everyday! This song was lame (I barely even remember Monica) but his Bobby Brown ditty was aws. I also love him saying "If I may..." to Simon. So polite.

Winky: Awful. Again, not even worth typing out my thoughts.

BlueCollar Oil Rigger: Bo Bice did the best rendition of that song I've ever heard so he was sub par at best. Plus, I've already told you of my feelings about country music. Intolerable. Carrie Underwood did me a huge disservice cuz now these people are coming outta the woodwork. But he's a nice guy and nice guys do well in life.

AnneMarieBoa;kdtoeano: Lame song. She looks 50 years old. I had high hopes for her too. Unfortunate performance.

Forgetty: Did you know "Rock With You" is Memzy & Gty's song? Yeah, that's right. They have a song. Totally awkward, I know. I know the judges blasted him but I liked it. Also, if I were to have a fro, I'd make it like his. Totally looks healthy and stuff.

Tatiana: Is she in a pageant? "Multi-faceted" is an understatement. This girl has so many personalities it's like she has bees in her head. I was thinking earlier today that there is no way I could hate this girl any more.... I was so dead wrong. She tried to make it look like that song had drained her of all her energy at the end. All fainty and stuff. Jenny voted for her btw. So annoying. This is gonna be like Prop 8.... making people choose sides.

Robert Downey Jr's Little Bro aka Widower: Two words with hyphens-- Fan Fav-orite. He is gonna be sooooo hard to beat this year. He has everything going for him.... sad story, cute, nice, good singer. Forget Blindy, RDJ is where it's at, yo.

So there you go. My top three? RDJ, NoopDawg and Spandex.


Markie23 said...

Top TWO - RDJ and NoopDawg. I'm afraid Spandex did nothing for me... not her singing or her spandex.
My choice for the third spot is Pixie. Maybe she wasn't the third best singer of the group, but she is a real cutie. I love her hair. I guess she does for me what Dimples does for you.
Ahhh Tatiana... I'm gonna miss her. I was already starting to think she had quieted the voices inside her head last night, until she made her final plea to America and snap... there was the Tatiana I have come to love... and fear a little.

Jenny ESP said...

Why are you so obsessed with fashion Faux Pas girl? I don't get it. She didn't work as hard as Tatiana and this is Tatiana's dream.

Flem said...

First of all the preface to this post was so funny I could barely handle it.

Second, I think RDJ is good. And the blonde girl, as pale as she was to Aretha's original, really does have talent.

I could take or leave everyone else.

I could leave Tatiana but doubt I would have to choose since who would vote for her? No offense.

And personality of the night goes to stevieseventeen. Worst performance ever but most composed response to judges. I asked a proxy to vote me one for her.

Sox said...

I am a HUGE Meat Loaf fan. Maybe I should just watch for this. And then, maybe I'll just trust you to give me updates.

Shed said...

RDJ. It's aaaaaaallllll about RDJ.

Our Family said...

Impressive review Landee! You are totally spot on, except for Braddy. I hearted Braddy. I might even get myself a t-shirt just to be extra supportive to the new guy. You watch, he'll make a believer outta you. Don't quit him just yet. I also think RDJ and NoopDawg are good, but when Braddy came out of the woodwork I held my breath. Tatiana (aka Sybil) is the comic relief. Love her (not her voice)and her drama and she totally changed her laugh last night after I had just gotten it down. Dang.

Landee said...

Markie, Pixie is a single mom. You want to deal with that kind of baggage?

Jespy, I am NOT obsessed with Spandex. One guy and one girl has to go through so I thought I'd throw a girl out there. The girls are lamerz this year, you gize. I can think of zero I'm even half way interested in.

Flem, by "pale as she was" you're referring to her being albino, right?

Sox, sorry to say but it's not really Meatloaf. Just an enormous man with long hair. But I will definitely keep you posted on AI. You really should consider tuning in when it gets to the top 12 though. AI is the great equalizer.

Shed, what, you have some kind of a man-crush goin' on? I'm telling Memzy.

Fowlerland givin' it up for the Braddy Bunch! I hope I'm wrong but I'm gonna say right now that I'm not. The votes just won't be there. I canNOT WAIT to hear your Tatilaugh. This should be good. Can you do the rocking back & forth in the corner thing too? And the dramatic fainting at the end of a lame song? I know you can.

Hot Pants said...

Spandex wore the grooviest outfit in history! Did you notice the GIANT unlaced tennis shoes? I think they were British Knight's. No matter how good she sang (which she didn't) I could not have voted for her based on the outfit. Plus I think she tries too hard to be the "crazy fun" girl. I didn't vote for any girls, so I am just letting the chips fall where they may. But, I am rooting for RDJ and NoopDog. Who stands a chance to win over a widower? I'm just glad the blind guy wasn't in the mix, or I'd be stressed for tonight.

Carol said...

Lulu, I so appreciate this post as I don't jump on the AI wagon until the final 12. I was busy watchng my NCIS last night and switched to AI only during commercials. Uncle Visor was in the other room doing the same. We compared notes later and were unclear about who was good and who was not. Your post has clearified it all. I will now TiVo NCIS and AI and not miss a thing. And the Gym situation--first session with the trainer tomorrow. I've been breaking things in until now. I think I'll make a Tshirt that says "You work for me Buddy--just remember that"

Jenny ESP said...

Hotpants just nailed it, IMO. British Knights???? Could have overlooked that if she sang well. I'm not buying her "free bird wild and crazy" act. Tati, she's the real deal, that one. Pure, authentic craziness.

Memzy said...

For some reason I was signed is as "Shed" before. Lamerz. That was me. I have a massive crush on RDJ. MASSIVE.

ps you stole my dimple cereal joke just fess up.