Feel The Burn

So I have a couple extra pounds hanging around from the cruise and Christmas. They are nice enough pounds but I'm finding them to be extremely annoying and needy. I need them to leave. So I'm perusing the App Store as I am bound to do from time to time and I come across a free app called "Lose it!Here is the icon:


Such a cute little scale! It works a lot like The Daily Plate where you put in your food & exercise and it keeps track of calories coming in and calories going out. I put in my current weight and goal weight and it tells me who many calories I can eat a day. The nice thing about the app is it's right on my phone so I can plug in my chicken sandwich and large waffle fries right from the booth at Chick-Fil-A.

So it has tons of food to choose from. Various restaurants. Name brand foods, etc. It also has a lot of exercises listed from which you can choose. Some of these "exercises" are darts, billiards, broomball (wha?), juggling, orienteering, and snow shoveling. Here is how many calories you can burn in an hour of doing each of these things:

Darts: 87
Billiards: 87
Broomball: 349
Juggling:174
Orienteering:465 (what the ayche is THAT?)
Snow Shoveling: 291

Here is another couple that are interesting....

Sexual Activity (I chose the option of "active, vigorous" over "general, moderate" for obvious reasons): 29
Vacuuming: 145

Vacuuming burns like FOUR TIMES as many calories as active, vigorous sexual activity? SRSLY??? This can't be right.

K, I just looked up what Orienteering is cuz that burns a goodly amount of calories so I might take it up as a hobby.

Orienteering is a family of sports that require navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain. Participants are given a map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points.^[1] Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, orienteering has developed many variations. Among these, the oldest and the most popular is foot orienteering. For the purposes of this article, foot orienteering serves as a point of departure for discussion of all other variations, but basically any sport that involves racing against a clock and requires navigation using a map is a type of orienteering.

Um, nevermind. Way nerdy. And I've never mastered a compass.

Let me look up broomball. That looks promising... I have a broom and stuff.

Broomball is a popular recreational ice sport originating in Canada and played around the world. It is played in a hockey rink, either indoors or outdoors, depending on climate and location. Broomball is very popular in the Canadian province of Manitoba, where Saint-Claude is the Broomball Capital of the World.

In a game of broomball there are two teams, each consisting of six players: a goaltender and five others. The object of the game is to score more goals than your opponent. Goals are scored by hitting the ball into your opponent's net using your broom. Tactics and plays are similar to those used in sports such as ice hockey, roller hockey and floorball.

Players hit a small ball around the ice with a stick called a "broom." The broom may have a wooden or aluminum shaft and has a rubber-molded triangular head similar in shape to that of a regular broom. Players wear special rubber-soled shoes instead of skates, and the ice is prepared in such a way that it is smooth and dry to improve traction.

Outside North America, broomball is often mistaken for the sport of curling, possibly due to the "broom" reference in the name, although the only similarity between the two is that they are both played on ice.

Hmmmm.... looks like I need a team for that one. And an ice rink. And those special rubber-soled shoes that can't possibly elongate the leg. Sounds expensive too. And lame.

Freediving is any of various aquatic activities that share the practice of breath-hold underwater diving. Examples include breathhold spear fishing, freedive photography, apnea competitions and, to a degree, snorkeling. The activity that garners the most public attention is competitive apnea, an extreme sport, in which competitors attempt to attain great depths, times or distances on a single breath without direct assistance of self-contained underwater breathing apparatus (scuba).

Um, sounds way dangerous. But an hour of freediving burns.... ready?.... 872 calories!!! Too bad I can only hold my breath for a maximum of 15 seconds. I think I'll stick with snorkeling, getting sea sick and then barfing up everything I ate that day. It's like a healthy form of bulimia cuz it's not in your mind, ya know?

Anyway, some FOOD for thought. I'd hate for you to be thinking you were burning all these calories with the active, vigorous sexual activity when in reality you were getting fatter from all the whip cream and chocolate.

Jay kay... does anyone actually use that stuff? Don't answer that.