Monday, February 23, 2009

Feel The Burn

So I have a couple extra pounds hanging around from the cruise and Christmas. They are nice enough pounds but I'm finding them to be extremely annoying and needy. I need them to leave. So I'm perusing the App Store as I am bound to do from time to time and I come across a free app called "Lose it!Here is the icon:


Such a cute little scale! It works a lot like The Daily Plate where you put in your food & exercise and it keeps track of calories coming in and calories going out. I put in my current weight and goal weight and it tells me who many calories I can eat a day. The nice thing about the app is it's right on my phone so I can plug in my chicken sandwich and large waffle fries right from the booth at Chick-Fil-A.

So it has tons of food to choose from. Various restaurants. Name brand foods, etc. It also has a lot of exercises listed from which you can choose. Some of these "exercises" are darts, billiards, broomball (wha?), juggling, orienteering, and snow shoveling. Here is how many calories you can burn in an hour of doing each of these things:

Darts: 87
Billiards: 87
Broomball: 349
Juggling:174
Orienteering:465 (what the ayche is THAT?)
Snow Shoveling: 291

Here is another couple that are interesting....

Sexual Activity (I chose the option of "active, vigorous" over "general, moderate" for obvious reasons): 29
Vacuuming: 145

Vacuuming burns like FOUR TIMES as many calories as active, vigorous sexual activity? SRSLY??? This can't be right.

K, I just looked up what Orienteering is cuz that burns a goodly amount of calories so I might take it up as a hobby.

Orienteering is a family of sports that require navigational skills using a map and compass to navigate from point to point in diverse and usually unfamiliar terrain. Participants are given a map, usually a specially prepared orienteering map, which they use to find control points.[1] Originally a training exercise in land navigation for military officers, orienteering has developed many variations. Among these, the oldest and the most popular is foot orienteering. For the purposes of this article, foot orienteering serves as a point of departure for discussion of all other variations, but basically any sport that involves racing against a clock and requires navigation using a map is a type of orienteering.

Um, nevermind. Way nerdy. And I've never mastered a compass.

Let me look up broomball. That looks promising... I have a broom and stuff.

Broomball is a popular recreational ice sport originating in Canada and played around the world. It is played in a hockey rink, either indoors or outdoors, depending on climate and location. Broomball is very popular in the Canadian province of Manitoba, where Saint-Claude is the Broomball Capital of the World.

In a game of broomball there are two teams, each consisting of six players: a goaltender and five others. The object of the game is to score more goals than your opponent. Goals are scored by hitting the ball into your opponent's net using your broom. Tactics and plays are similar to those used in sports such as ice hockey, roller hockey and floorball.

Players hit a small ball around the ice with a stick called a "broom." The broom may have a wooden or aluminum shaft and has a rubber-molded triangular head similar in shape to that of a regular broom. Players wear special rubber-soled shoes instead of skates, and the ice is prepared in such a way that it is smooth and dry to improve traction.

Outside North America, broomball is often mistaken for the sport of curling, possibly due to the "broom" reference in the name, although the only similarity between the two is that they are both played on ice.

Hmmmm.... looks like I need a team for that one. And an ice rink. And those special rubber-soled shoes that can't possibly elongate the leg. Sounds expensive too. And lame.

Freediving is any of various aquatic activities that share the practice of breath-hold underwater diving. Examples include breathhold spear fishing, freedive photography, apnea competitions and, to a degree, snorkeling. The activity that garners the most public attention is competitive apnea, an extreme sport, in which competitors attempt to attain great depths, times or distances on a single breath without direct assistance of self-contained underwater breathing apparatus (scuba).

Um, sounds way dangerous. But an hour of freediving burns.... ready?.... 872 calories!!! Too bad I can only hold my breath for a maximum of 15 seconds. I think I'll stick with snorkeling, getting sea sick and then barfing up everything I ate that day. It's like a healthy form of bulimia cuz it's not in your mind, ya know?

Anyway, some FOOD for thought. I'd hate for you to be thinking you were burning all these calories with the active, vigorous sexual activity when in reality you were getting fatter from all the whip cream and chocolate.

Jay kay... does anyone actually use that stuff? Don't answer that.

10 comments:

Hazel said...

I would like to see the definition of sexual activity...::giggling like nobodies business::

ManicMandee said...

Yikes, you painted some pictures I really didn't want to see. And you have extra pounds. WHATEVAH!

But that site sounds cool. I'll definitely want to check it out like the day after my baby is born.

Markie23 said...

Only one of those forms of exercise sounds like any fun and since it only burns 29 calories, I'm just gonna have to do it for a whole lotta hours. It is a team sport though right? Hmmm, I may have a problem.

Flem said...

It sounds to me like orienteering is just walking but with a compass.

Glad to hear vacuuming burns more than sex.

Memzy said...

Oh em gee. I love this app!! I haven't used it yetbut my friend told me about it a couple weeks ago. I always knew that about sexual activity. I'm gonna refer Shed to this site fir no apparent reason.

Anna B said...

Great just another reason I need one of those I-Phones. For realz! Thanks for the PG-13 reading for the day.

E said...

I don't mix sex and food. So how many calories are burned with texting? Blogging? Chewing up cake? ::downloading app::

Elder Jack Anderson said...

Katie: if you need a definition then you're not doing it right.

MM: You saw me pre-cruise & Christmas. Believeachoo me, there are some extra poundages kickin in the midsection region.

Markie: It's a partners sport. Much more attainable than team. If you think it's a team sport, then YOU'RE doing it wrong. Very wrong.

Flem: I think having to look at the compass while walking must kick up the calories burned. Cuz you probably trip and fall a lot. "Brisk walking" burns 162 calories in an hour. Yeah. The key is carrying the compass.

Memz: It's totally working. But I'm a slave to it. I don't even lick a spoon without consulting my phone first.

Annie: I was going for R! The academy takes "R"s more seriously. Dang. I may need to go back and edit back in some stuff that I left on the cutting room floor.

Jesp: For an hour.... texting: 7. Blogging: 12... (if you add pictures, then it's 15) chewing up cake: 2. I think your exercise regimen is spot on.

Carol said...

Lulu, Didn't mean to offend with posting a comment about THIS blog on that OTHER blog. Let's just say I got confused, specially when Memz and I had recently talked about Lose-it, yadda, yadda. The fact that you'll be in Vegas this Friday makes me want to drive over and see you--but can't. I'll be thinking of you and hope you have a good time. Take a picture of you and Gitty in from of the Bellagio water works. I could stand there all day and never get tired of it. Are you bringin' the kids?

Carol said...

340 CALORIES FOR 1/2 CUP. That's insane!! I hate that I now know this!