AI: Pop You'll Are Watership Downloads

Can we vote the judges off?

Thank goodness Lisa Rinna & David Spade were there. The show is now legit with all the C-listers making an appearance.

JBird is wondering why the juhjes (as Little says) are so obsessed with song choice and not at all obsessed with how they sang the song they chose. Good point JBird. You are very wise.

Anoop

I don't know if I like the R&B Anoop. I'm just not sure if he can pull it off. Especially not Usher. But that's what he wants to be so whatareyagonnado? I'm just gonna have to love him through it. It's all I can do.

Megan

****

Danny

He's smart. He went a little bit country this week to get all the country folk votes that Oil Rigger left behind ::crickets chirping::. But not TOO country (Rascal Flatts) as to drive the country haters away. He didn't sound great tho this week. And you know I'm a fan. The judges gave him waaaaay too many compliments for that mediocre performance.

Allison
Thanks to a brilliant hair stylist, I finally realized who/what she reminds me of..... A TROLL DOLL!!! I'm so happy because it's been buggin me. I didn't know she could play the guitar-- oh wait, she can't. She played, like, 8 measures and then ditched it. Stupid. Why even bother. And Pauler calling it an "axe." Whatever. I do like her voice tho. But Troll Doll.

Scott
I was surprised this week that I even semi-enjoyed his performance. His hair was entertaining in and of itself. He really can play the piano.... ::sigh:: if only this were a piano playing competition.

Matt
I liked the song. I think I liked the performance. But it took me half the song to get over how weird it was that he was out in the middle of the audience with a synthesizer. Why did he do that? The first thing he needs to do when he makes it big is get that thing removed off his forehead. It's hindering my crush on him I wanna have.

Little
She looked like a drag queen tonight. The wig. The muscles. The dress. The song. Was I touched with her tears at seeing her kids talk to Ryan and hug Randy? No. I'm worried about myself cuz I should have at least been like "Awwwww..." but instead I was like "Oh my gosh... let go of Randy already! Aaaawkwaaard ::singsongy::" Deaderz in a ditch inside.

Adam
K. It turns out it wasn't the hair that swayed me last week. It was him not singing just to hear himself sing. Luckily he was back to his old antics this week so I could get back to my eye rolling and head shaking. I don't hate him as much as I used to but I really really really dislike him. That tongue of his drives me bonkerz.

Kris
Awwwwww... (there it is!). So cute. And he plays the piano TOO? Where does it end with this gi? In stark contrast to Adam and his costumes and extensive hair and make-up, Kris looks like he put on whatever happened to be on his floor that morning. He's going for the I'm-Not-Trying-Too-Hard look. I like it but I'd also like to see him in a nice suit sometime. You know, just to see.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Megan
(It will all depend on how powerful VoteForTheWorst.com really is)

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Kara

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Kris

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Megan

The BeanMon

Some of you may be listening to my American Idol podcasts. Some of you may not. If you are listening, you might be wondering who this "Andy Thompson" is who is the host of the show. I thought I'd dedicate a little post to him so you'd know how I know him and why I'd want to talk AI with him once a week.

I have no idea why they call him BeanMon. Maybe when he was little they called him "Andy Beans" and it progressed from there? He is the youngest of five boys so who knows. Several of them have these nicknames that have changed over time many, many times. One of them has a nickname solely based on a word they said funny one time. Another has had at least 5 different nicknames. . . one of which was so prevalent that when he gave a talk in church, the program listed his nickname rather than his real name.

Anyway, I met the BeanMon shortly after Gty & I were married at their Grandma's funeral (so yeah, he's Gty's cousin). I wanna say Andy was about 11 or 12. He wasn't shy but he didn't talk much. I remember, at some point, going across the street from the funeral home with he & his brothers to get some Arby's or something. Good times. Good times.

Cut to 1998. Andy is now 13. A little taller but I could still take him in basketball. We had moved to Lafayette, IN to attend Purdue (not me, Gty) and, since Andy's fam lived a mere 3 hours away up in Chicago, we would go there all the time. Probably not every weekend but at least once a month, sometimes twice and there were probably a couple months we went three times. It probably would have been more often but Aunt Marilyn wouldn't let us bring Maggie up. This was the first time we hadn't lived near family so we loved going up there and hanging out. This was when we became addicted to the Game Show Network which was still relatively new. We would stay up until 5am watching old game shows and new fangled ones. We would pray a Card Shark would come on soon and cringe when it was the Love Buffet. Of course we would watch whatever was on, but some were more enjoyable than others.

This picture was taken our last weekend there before we moved to Albany, NY. BeanMon is now 15 and I'm pretty sure I couldn't take him in basketball anymore. Some of my favorite Andy stories during this time was one time, during class at school, Andy decided that a girl was taking a little too much time on her oral report. He wrote "END IT" on a piece of paper and held it up. What the?

He also wore the same orange t-shirt every day until a teacher noticed... he may have even turned it inside out and wrote something like "I lost my dog" on it with a permanent marker. I can't remember... point is he was a quirky kid.

We also heard stories of his "Survivor Parties" he would throw. He would invite tons of people over and every half hour or whatever they would take a vote and vote someone OUT OF THE PARTY. That person would literally have to leave the party and not come back. I hope no one had self-esteem issues because of that.




Speaking of dogs, whenever we went up there we would have to leave on Sunday afternoon in order to get back in time to get Maggie from the kennel without having to pay and extra day. So we'd be getting ready to leave and Andy would be like "Don't leave yet. Why are you leaving? It's the dumb dog, isn't it." It made us feel loved in a weird sort of way.



I post the above badly scanned picture so you can see Val/Otto Valez/Tito/Ted/Tad's "shockingly nice" hair we discussed in my last podcast. The ladies loved it, apparently.

This pic was taken in 2001 at their oldest bro's wedding in Chicago. We flew in from NY for the big event. At this point all the older brothers are realizing, much to their chagrin, that Andy will be the tallest of the bunch.


A couple years later we get this gem in the mail. BeanMon's senior photo. He doesn't know how to play the guitar so...... lollerz.



Below are pics taken in 2004. Gty's side of the family has a big reoon every other year in which they play games like steamroller and "pull the little kid on the saucer by a rope & hope they don't fall off." You can see Andy there on the left and me in the middle.



Apparently our team was Number One? ::woot woot:: I believe this was the reunion when I ran the 100 yard dash and fell on my face across the finish line. It was awesome.



He then served a mission to California... Riverside? Can't remember. They used to joke before he left that rather than go and converting people, he was gonna focus his energy on ridding the church of its annoying members. I wasn't at his homecoming so I don't know if he ended up taking that route but I'm guessing no.

Below is a recent pic I stole off his bro's facebook. Andy is still TC (too cool) for Facebook apparently. That dood on the left is Judd... host of J-Walking. I may be doing a post on him soon if Andy doesn't straighten up and recognize. What am I talking about? Why was Markie a bit confused during our last podcast?

Facts: I have been on his TBB Morning Show several times. When listing off his "core" contributers, he failed to mention me. I sent him a text to let him know I heard his neglect. The following is our exchange: (I'm in green)

I love my iPhone, btw. Bite your tongue!

So there's the BeanMon.

On VayCay....

So I'm not doing an American Idol results show post. Except I will say that AI needs to stop pairing up old doods with young pretty girls. Randy Travis and Carrie Underwood last week. Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone this week.

Creepsville, U.S.A.

Smokey didn't take his eyes off Joss the entire time. I had to take a shower afterward. Durrty.

In vacation news, the boys went skiing today with Grandpa for the second time. TBone's main priority is "finding bumps." I knew he would be like that. JBird's main priority is staying warm. I also knew he would be like that. Both loved it even though it was snowing like crazy at the snow resort.

As for BB and I? We have been hanging out with Milly & enjoying the good life of visiting Grandma's house. We also got to hang out with my ADORABLE neice, Dotty. My SIL went skiing with the boys as well so we got to play with Miss Dotty all afternoon. BeeBee is a natural babysitter. She made sure she was never further than two feet away from Dotty the whole day. And most of the time she was no more than two inches from her face.... so that's good.








I mean right?

PS are there any other cell phones that take better pics than the iPhone? Me thinks not.

PSS We are headed home on Saturday rather than Sunday this week because a humongo storm is supposed to come through these parts on Sunday. Apparently Denver already has several inches on the ground. I'm so over snow this year. Spring snow is the pits.

Hitsville, U.S.A.

Katie thinks Hitsville, U.S.A. sounds like a women's battered shelter.

This blog is comin' atcha live from The Beehive State this week.

My MIL, referring to Randy, said "I don't think I like turquoise on a man."

I srsly think Pauler carries crayons and coloring books around in her purse for when she gets bored.

My in-laws just watched Country Week tonight before the new show.... Phil, a die hard Johnny Cash fan, said he bets they had to dig up Johnny Cash and roll him back over after Adam's "Ring of Fire." I lollerzed.

It pays to go last, you gize. A) People remember you better and 2) The judges keep their comments short.

Let's get it on.....

Matt (DuelingPianos): Speaking of gettin' it on.... no, you gize, get yer head outta the gutter, he SANG "Let's Get it On." Ge'ez. But yeah, back to the gutter, those were the tightest jeans on a man I've seen in a while. Like, male ballet dancer tight. Flem knows what I'm talking about here. I think they helped him hit the high notes. I liked his performance. I like him.

Kris Allen (CutiePatootie): Is he trying to look older or something? What was with the Pedro moustache? It prolly took him a week to grow that thing. Glad his guitar was back. I've decided he looks like Chad/Rob Lowe. I still like him, but my love for him is waning. Mostly cuz he's married.

ScottBlind: Can't you see color through straws? Don't tell me they told him they were pink pants 10 minutes before he went on stage. He's "blind" and a liar now. He wanted those pink pants. Just fess up, Scottie. As for the performance, I was glad the back up singers were there to distract me even further from him. He's getting smarter. I continue to be amazed by his piano skillz and continue to be unimpressed by his singing skillz. Also, saw a closer up of his bro.... not as hawt as I remember. May have been a bad camera angle too.

Megan Joy (TatSleeve/ToddlerDancer): Her looks are like Blindy's blindness. She wouldn't be here if she wasn't drop dead gorge. She shoulda had the Influenza B again. That was her ace in the hole.

Anooooooop: Love him. That being said, he didn't pierce my soul like he did last week. I love Tender Anoop. Really, I do. But Randy is right, he needs to shake it up next week while also singing as well as he has been. He seemed sleepy. Love him.

Michael (OilRigger/GinormNeck): I kinda like the phrase "taking this song to church" but I kinda really don't like him. I've realized that he reminds me of someone from my past who I don't like. Problem is, I can't remember who that person is. But trust me, who ever it is, they're a jagbag. They had to have been to make me, now several years later, hold it against some poor, innocent American Idol contestant. Plus he sux.

Little: Kudos to her stylist for figuring out a way to take the attention away from her SirMixALot's dream backside. That was genius to go with the fringe dress. And wow... her hurr grows fast. Amazing. Is it just me or did she look like she was gonna kick the judges bootys when they were slammin' her? Yikes... I was skurred.

Adam (Guyliner): I'm so mad at him. I was loving to hate him. Now I'm hating to like him. How dare he clean himself up and put an Extreme (More Than Words) twist on his song? Dang him all to heck. The standing ovation was a bit much but, still... very enjoyable. I pray next week snaps me back into reality. ::sigh:: I'm so mad at him.

Danny (RDJ): How does a song ever become popular with the lyrics "Fe Fi Fo Fum" and "Tweedle Dee, Dweedle Dum"..... I mean, really. I must say I loved his synchronized dancing with the back up singers. They got so much face time this show, btw, between Blindy and Danny. Not my favorite song for him but still, he'd have to do a lot to get me off of Team Danny.

Allison (Red): And the nomination for worst outfit of the night goes to.... Lil' Red! Yikes. Cow skull bling leaves something to be desired and multiple swagged chain belts are no good. But she can sing. The best part was Simon drawing that Pedro/Kris Allen moustache on Pauler. Oh. My. Gosh. I lollerzed so hard. That might be my No. 1 favorite AI moment evah. It seemed like she wasn't really sure what he had even done and then she was all embarassed when it was pointed out. Freak. I'm giggling just thinking about it again.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Michael
(Bottom 2 last week, did nothing to change that this week)

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Michael
(He shouldn't be like that jerk I knew way back when)

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Adam
(it pains me to type that but I'm just keepin' it real, yo)

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
A tie between Megan & Little

Spring Break

So we're off to Utah to have some fun times with some fun peeps. Gty's parents have a place in Bear Lake so we will be there for a few days then we will spend the rest of the week in Logan. I got some new movies, charged up the PSPs and DSs, and loaded up on snacks. We should be good for the next 7 hours or so.

You gize doing anything for your spring breaks??

Do tell.

Aaakwaaaard ::said all singsongy::

It's time for a vote of our own. Who needs 866 numbers anywayz?

I will list some of the most obvious awkward moments from the results show this week (there were over one million to choose from) and you can vote on which was the most awkward. Mkay? Mkay.

Oh, and since this is my blog and I am the only one allowed to one-up around here, if you have an awkward moment from the show that I failed to mention, you can mention it in the comments AFTER you have voted on one of mine. Mkay? Mkay.

Oh, and the country music industry needs to be shut down. Mkay.

And Your Top 12 Are......

1. Randy wearing an ascot.
2. No one cheering for Kara when she was announced.
3. Blindy at the piano during ensemble song... obviously keeping him safe.
   
4. Paula having to say who she thought would be in the bottom three outta Oily and DirtyPixie.
5. Ryan holding up the water balloon he got outta Tat's dressing room.
6. Odd footage of the "after show party" from last week.
7. The contestant's "speeches" to Jorge & SnazzyJazzy.
8. OilyR being forced to speak directly to his kids through the camera.
9. Randy calling DirtyPixie "Allison" while, at the same time, predicting she'd be the one in the bottom three.
10. Randy Travis leering at Carrie Underwood during their duet.
11. The judges all huddled together during DirtyP's last ditch effort.
12. DurrtyP's attempt to add in the "edge" the judges said she lacked to an edgeless song.

K, the voting lines are open til.... well.... infinity plus one hours, I guess. But don't procrastinate.

Cast your vote now.

Country Week: Just Shoot Me

This is who is coaching our Idols this week. Yikes. I think he died about 5 years ago but nobody told him.

That judges walking out at the beginning thing is so dumb. So so so dumb.

I almost didn't make it through this week's show. Country music is my nemesis.

I muscled through tho... for you gize.

Let's get this hoe-down started....

OilRigger (Michael): He was definitely in his element this week....and that's not a compliment. His song was like rapping... country style. Ugh. I'd like to see what percentage of his votes came from the Ozarks this week I bet, like, a lot.

Red (Allison): She rocked it. I'm still on the fence with her. Can't figure out why I'm not head over heels in love with her. Still wondering who is voting for her. I won't hate it if she sticks around but I wouldn't care if she left this week either. It's like I'm dead inside when it comes to her.

CutiePatoot (Kris): Hmmmmmm... I don't know if I like the "vulnerable" and "tender" Kris. He had some rough high notes in there. And I'm not sure how much I am loving him with out his guitar. How can holding a guitar up the hawt quotient by like, a brazillion? And how much can cheesily sitting on a stool down the hawt quotient? Plus, by the time they were showing the recaps at the end I had already forgotten about him.

BigNRound (Lil): Or "Little" which Lil is obviously short for (sorry about ending that with a preposition, UV). Thanks for clearing that up, Simon. Oh, and btw, ew. Did not like her performance. Nothing new for me, I realize, but tonight was particularly bad. I get her trying to do something different.... but she shouldn't. She SHOULD have taken a non-stupid country song (Independence Day does not fall into that category) and put an R&B spin on it. Who are we kidding...I probably wouldn't really like anything she did. Nevermind.

Gayliner (Adam): Wow. You know my feelings regarding Mr. Adam Lambert. This was a perfect example as to why he drives me crazy. He chose a PERFECT song for him.... and then Black Fingernail Polished it up. There were a couple parts where I thought "Ok, not toooooo bad" and then BAM! his creepiness came back full force and my eye began to twitch like it usually does when he sings. Bottom Line: Coulda been great. Way too much WeHo.

Blindy (Scott): Paula. Shutty. He needs that piano. I need him to need that piano. I can't have him "looking" directly at the camera/me without the piano there for a distraction. His hair looked better, don't you think? I wonder how he likes it..... sorry. I loved Simon's comment that his songs keep going ::hand motion over his head::..... um, Simon, he can't see you. That was rude.

Pixie (AlexisGrace): They say she looks like Dolly Parton? I can think of two humungous reasons why she does not. I think she was smart to go a little slower/softer. The Dirty Diane stuff was getting old. But she did have some really bad notes in there. She's growing on me a little. Just a lil tho.

RDJ (Danny): It became obvious from the audience's reaction when he finished his song that he is a maaaaaaajor favorite this year. And still, no mention of the dead wife this week. Do you think he's trying to get people to like him for him rather than for his sob story? Or do you think he is wanting to start dating again? Something to ponder. Of course he was fantastic.

NoopDog (Anoop): There's my NoopDog!!! There he is! Smart song choice cuz guess what? Willie Nelson's not popular cuz his voice is like butter. As a matter of fact, it's like nails on a chalk board. He's the perfect artist to chose. Anoop dominated this song. Aaaaand, he added a new word to my everyday vocabulary.... impetus. Hims so smart. Smartness is hawtifying.

TatSleeve/ToddlerDancer (Megan): What happened to her last name? I thought it was Corkery? Anyway, apparently we can't judge cuz she had the flu. Apparently you get a free pass if you are sick. I like her quirky style but her unnatural facial expressions are kinda creepy. Oh, and her un bra-ed boobs were gross.

DeulingPianos (Matt): I've never heard the original of this Carrie Underwood song, but it didn't matter. I enjoyed it immensely. He dressed like JT in a snazzy suit and tie too. I wasn't hating that. He fused the country crap with his own style beautifully. Take note Guyliner. Take note Little.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Megan
(she's never been voted in and can't possibly be appealing to the general population)

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Adam
(indulgent jagbag)

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Noop
(his eyes saw into my soul)

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Michael
(country rapping, nuff said)

Family Home Video- AI Flashback

We are not just bandwagon American Idol fans.

This video shall prove that.

I've pointed out all the good stuff so sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Without further ado...

And you are?

So my favorite columnist of all time Eric D. Snider, recently posted a little ditty regarding different types of commenters on blogs. He claims everyone falls into one of these ten categories.

Well, here...... just read it yourself and then say what kind of commenter YOU think you are. I'll then tell you if you're right or not.

The 10 Types of Internet Comments

The evolution of the Internet has led to almost complete interactivity...

ERIC D. SNIDER MADE ME TAKE THIS DOWN.

MAJOR FROWNY-FACE MAKING

WAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA

(^^Debbie Downer noise^^)

'Twas A Good Night

"Ooooh baby, I was blind to let you go....."

Lollerz.

I want to see footage of Blindy using that bowling alley. Just 8 seconds is all I need. (Memzy, don't start bawling cuz you just read 8 Seconds.... ::choking sob:: Don't do it). But look at him all up and about during the ensemble number like a non-tunnel-vision-suffering-person! Proud of him. His bit in the Ford commercial made me realize that I want him around. I need him on that wall, so to speak.

Anyway, about the new "Judges Can Save One Person Per Season" rule.... not as bad as I was expecting. Jespy struck fear into my heart with her possibilities. I think this won't be too bad and it will give those poor suckers just a few more minutes of hope during their song before they get denied by the judges again. It's quite lovely actually.

Here's the thing tho.......... so they make this new rule up and hype it as "The Rule That Could Have Saved Chris Daughtry." Um, not so AI people. They say it'll only work until the top 5. Chris got booted at #4. Dooooyeeeeeeeeeee. I think they say that because Taylor Hicks won that year and he's been the worst AI winner in history so they are trying to say "Hey, that wasn't OUR fault." So I guess we'll see how this twist plays out.

Anyway, so happy that Jasmine got the prestigious title of the First One Booted this season. The other rounds don't count as there were people being voted through rather than getting kicked off. I hope she hadn't made herself too comfy in the AI Mansion. On the bright side, it looks like her mom got a new wig outta the deal so that's good. I'm absolutely not surprised she is gone. She had NO FANS. She was brought in by the judges on the Wild Card to fill the missing demographics so they couldn't be sued. Bye bye Jasmine. This "whole new world" is dead to you now. Take a "magic carpet ride" on home, mkay?

::fast forward through Kanye:: Question. Did he just get done changing his oil? The towel?

Next.... the Battle of the Eyebrows. Anoop v. Jorge.

Wait.... Kelly Clarkson first. Is she preggers? She's starting to remind me of whats-her-face from Heart. No, not her. The other one. Ungood. I love her tho. I really do. My life would suck with out her. ::snicker::

::HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF::

Tooooooo close for comfort there, NoopDawg! Now pick better songs and quit crappin' around!

Oh and adios, Jorge. I would have loved to hear more about your grandpa and stuff but you're gone now so I can't.

Anyone know what next week's theme is gonna be? I need to get all geared up.

Moment of silence.....

My Take: Top 13

You put Blindy Blind Sis behind Randy?

Quit showing people in the make up chairs! No man looks good getting make-up sponged.

Paula wore a dead bird.

MJ Week? Best Theme EVAH!

The "new rules" better not give the judges any more pull in the competition. I hate big government.

Big&ROund: I can't wrap my head around the gravitational pull of her backside. It amazes me. I can't take my eyes off it. The high-waisted, pleated, tapered pants didn't help either. She's lame. She's nothing special. But that backside... I wouldn't mind keeping her around a bit longer so I can stare unabashedly.

Blindy: Thank goodness he was behind the piano. I feel much more comfortable with him there. Hawt brother alert at the beginning! Sounded better... but that isn't saying much. Is going nowhere this week. Cuz he's blind and stuff.

RDJ: The intro to PYT had me worried sick. SICK I SAY! And then he rawked it. I loved his moves. What were the judges talking about? I also appreciated that he made no mention of the wife in his little video thingy. He's not gonna play on the emotions of America (ahem Blindy).

Oil Rigger: Simon's best joke ever.... "I just wish we knew what you did for a living." How awkward are those blue jump suits, huh? Anyway, don't like him. Didn't like the song. Didn't like the cheese he applied to the song. Why must he smile on every long note? I'm sure he has a nice Carrie Underwood following tho. He'll be safe this week.

Jasmine: I'm still not a fan but I agree with Randy... "It wasn't that bad." She could be in trouble tho. Who would her fans be? No one voted her in. The judges brought her on in the WC show to fill a void of certain demographics. We might be saying bye bye to this Disney Princess.

CutiePatootie: I have a new favorite and his name is Kris Allen. Oh. My. Gosh. Could he be any cuter??? I loved the arrangement of "Remember The Time" with the acoustic guitar kickin. Made it his own, if you will. He has been married for only 5 months?? FIVE MONTHS? Poor girly. He's gonna make it big and leave her. I'm not rooting for that, I just read a lot of gossip magazines so I know how this goes. I'm heavily in like with him. We'll see if it turns into something more over the next few weeks.

Red: The clip of her singing to 4 people in that messican supermarket was sad. Depressing even. I've never heard the MJ song she chose. But then all MJ songs must be foreign to this little 16 yo so I can hardly fault her for it. I like her raspy voice but I worry about who her fans might be. I mean, I didn't vote for her.

NoopDog: Noopy, Noopy, Noopy.... what can I say? He has a hard time pulling the tough guy image off, doesn't he? I wish he would have sang Man in the Mirror or something along those lines. I do respect him for picking songs because he likes them rather than trying to figure out how to manipulate the audience.... but still... he needs to figure song choice out cuz I'm not ready to say good by to my widdle nerd.

Jorge From The Block: Wait, he needs a sad story in order to compete with the other sob stories on the show.... um... let's see... his grandpa died? Is that good? Grandpas are old. It doesn't count. Nice try Jorge. Did I see him bite his lip and sway? I did. Did I feel like I was back in the Caribbean on my cruise? I did. Did he take an hour explaining why he chose the lame song that he did? Yes. Hor-hay. Me no quiero.

ToddlerDancer: Is she human..... or toddler dancer? She picked to best song to show off her moves that I've become so fond of! She had me at "JBird Street." My only regret is that the camera would have been directly on her face when she cawed. I'm really mad at the director about this actually. She could be gone this week. Who is gonna vote for that?

Guyliner: What is with this guy? Why do they say Pixie was "over the top" but say nothing to this drama queen? I CANNOT STAND HIM. Can't. He sounds like he should be the lead singer of White Snake. He's all touching the crowd as if he's already won the freaking competition. The best is how his parents are totally average & June Cleaver-y and then he's completely yaped. I can't wait until he gets emotional (it'll all be an act tho) and his mascara runs.

Dueling Pianos: In extreme contrast to Guyliner, here comes Matt. Real. Subtle. Amazingly talented on the piano. Loved the JT comparison. Loved his song choice, obviously. Brought back some good Seattle Six memories. Loved seeing him back in his element.

Pixie: Is it just me or does she look like a Bobble Head Doll? I thought she sounded great though. I can't believe her 85 lbs can sing like that. I think Dirty Diana was an interesting song choice, not my favorite, but she can sing. It's unfortunate that Jorge took all the judges time to comment on her because I think they would have talked her up more.

Four Categories From Now On:

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
ToddlerD and Jasmine

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Jorge and Oil Rigger

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
NoopDog (jay kay).... CutiePatoot, si claro.

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Jorge. No question. Sadly, Noopy was a close second.

What Have I Done to Deserve This?

Cute kids, huh? Yeah. I think they are bound and determined to keep me humble/tick me off. I don't know why. I've done nothing but try to make their lives comfortable and happy. But they have it out for me.

Case in point: Church Today

I was stopped by two different people in the hall who said "Landee.... I have a HILARIOUS TBone story to tell you!" I hear those words and I brace myself for the worst. This was worse than the worst.

Apparently the theme this month in Primary is the various roles of different family members. Rumor has it that my son, my dear snarky TBone, raised his hand and said that his mom does nothing. That "she sleeps on the couch for 3 hours every day, no wait, maybe even longer. Yeah she sleeps ALL DAY and doesn't do anything. My dad does EVERYTHING. And she's always on the computer." Uh huh. Yup. He did. This is a classic case of the philosophies of TBone mingled with truth. Everyone knows I blog so obviously the last part is true.... now everyone is like "Hmmmmm.... then maybe that first part was true too?" It's awesome.

Then, I asked JBird if they had the same Sharing Time in Sr. Primary. He said they did and he told me (in such a way that I'm led to believe he thought this would cheer me up) that he said I'm a shopper. A SHOPPER. When I was like "WHAT???" He was like "Well, yeah, cuz you go to the store and we wouldn't have anything if you didn't buy it." K, so I DO the shopping. Freakin A. He also claims he said I'm "fun" but this was after he could see I was near tears so I'm guessing that was a bunch of hraka but I give him points for trying.

All of this is unfolding during church and then as we're walking to go get BeeBee out of the nursery, btw. THEN I arrive at the nursery and BeeBee starts crying that she doesn't want to leave the nursery. She is clinging to the nursery leader saying "I don't wanna go home!" Srsly, you'd think she was beaten daily at home by the way she was acting. What three year old wants to STAY in NURSERY???

TBone says he said it "to be funny." I get that. I do stuff in the name of being funny all the time that ends up hurting someone's feelings/embarassing them. Tis a fine line that I am constantly toeing. It must be in the genes and I'm the latest victim. TBone will, most likely, continue to walk this line the rest of his life as well and I'm sure it's not the last time I'll be the joke.

So we had a little talk about the difference between being funny and just flat out being rude/inappropriate that I think he caught no more than 12% of but whatever. I then told him that since I "never do anything around here " and "I nap 3 hours a day" that he could proceed to fix himself some lunch and not to disturb me for the next few hours. He caught my drift.

Also, I hate daylight savings. In the spring.

Bad bad bad bad day.

Baker's Dozen

You got me American Idol. You really got me this time.

I'm ashamed to admit that I, while sitting in my family room alone, swore when they said Dueling Pianos got through and not NoopDawg.

I then shed a tear when they made it the first Top 13 in AI history.

I'm in too deep.

It's affecting me too much.

Can't stop now tho. I have podcasts to do and stuff (speaking of which, look for another bee-yute comin' atcha today).

Plus, it will slow down now as they pick them off one-by-one.

In honor of Fave Foto Friday, I have posted the ensemble performance of Wednesday nights results show. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Yes, I set up a tripod, turned off all the lights and recorded it off the TV. Still funny. Keep an "eye" on you-know-who.

No, the sound is not off on my camera... that is how it looked on the TV. Gty is convinced they are lip syncing because NO ONE is singing the right words. I'll let you decide. It's awesome either way.

Wild Card Lameness

Are the judges out of their freaking minds?

Yays
NoopDawg, Dueling Pianos, ToddlerDancer/TatSleeve (she has grown on me), NoopDawg's cardigan and tie ensemble

Boooooooooooooos
Jasmine (so boring), FiveHead and ::drumroll:: Tati.

Time Fillers
GayDonnyOsmond, and (sorry Fowlerland) Braddy Bunches of Oats

Did anyone watch Blindy in the ensemble song? Between him & Jorge they knew three words. I'm never deleting that. Ever. I lollerzed the whole time & watched it thrice.

Ricky Braddy= the white Will Smith, btw. Look at him. You can't deny it.

I making a vow right now.... if Tatiana makes it through, she will never be mentioned again on my blog. I will pretend she doesn't even exist. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, if you will. I will fast forward through her performances and leave the Tati bits up to LilJ in Vegas. I'll comment on the final 11. I just can't do it. I don't even want to give her any airtime on my prestigious blog.

Hold me to it, you gize.

My Take: Group Tres

Two Elton Johns and a Meatloaf? It's like they are trying to make me not watch.

Lil Rounds? LIL Rounds? There ain't nothing lil 'bout that backside yo.

Why DON'T the judges choose all their songs? I'd love to take song choice out of the equation.

Why does Simon pretend like he doesn't know their names? I don't buy it.

Gay Donny Osmond: I'd forgotten he had even performed by the end of the show. Not a good sign. There's no way he's getting through but I think he's decent enough.

LDS (?) GRL: I was so hoping for more. Can anyone confirm for me if she's LDS? The Mormons usually rally behind their own peeps so I wouldn't count her out. I threw her about 10 votes just on the possibility that she's Mormon. Do you remember how far Carmen got with her yodeling? Brook White? Jon Peter Lewis? That's right. They don't even have to be good to get voted through. We are a powerful people.

NerdBall: Anoop pulls nerdy off better than Alex. I like HIM as a person. I think he's hilarious. However, I do not like his fake raspy voice. His voice doesn't match his look. It's disconcerting. Sorry, but I like my socks to match too. I'm OCD like that. Sad eyebrows or not, he won't be going through.

Button: Self-proclaimed "cute as a button." Be serious. She acted like her being cute was holding her back. This is like those people in job interviews who, when asked what their weakness is, say "I'm just too good with people" or "I'm patient to a fault." C'mon. Then she sang some lamerz song and cracked the last note. Buh-bye, Button.

Ju'Not: I had to use his real name cuz, wha? You can't make this stuff up. He definitely took Hey There, Delilah and "made it his own." I'm just not sure I want what he's selling. I liked RDJ's friend's version better. The judges were ga-ga though. He has a shot.

Chops: She has the singing chops and did you see her teeth? Perfection. I want the name of her orthodontist for my kids. I don't want the name of her & Pauler's hair stylist though. I remember her drama from Hollywood Week and I remember liking her afterward. It was like she didn't cause the drama, but she was right in the middle of it. And srsly, this girl can sing. I loved her song. I thought she did great. She's definitely in the running.

Headbands: Even his Grandma gave him a mediocre review. She's "used to Nathaniel's music" apparently. I don't have many rules but one of them is that I don't vote for boys who wear headbands and sing Meatloaf. My standards are through the roof, I know.

2nd Chances: So apparently that super pretty girl who had had a record contract in the past but it didn't work out, finally got it to work out. She accepted a record contract and subsequently got booted from AI. This is where Felicia comes in. And you know what? I think she was pretty dang good. Did I vote for her? No, there's no hint that she's Mormon. Duh.

Blindy: Here is the question we need to be asking ourselves here.... If Blindy wasn't blind, would the judges even be giving him the time of day?? I say nay. They can't even bring themselves to criticize him. As a matter of fact, they praise him when it isn't deserved. You move mountains?? Kara, stop. Here are a few things Simon should have said, "Your vision sux and so did your singing" or "You sing about as well as you see" or even "You look like Art Garfunkle, but you sound like poo." But no. He's semi-blind. So he moves mountains.

Princess: Blonde. Cute. Country. Seen it. Heard it. Didn't buy their albums. Not interested. Her only redeeming quality is her Dad's alligator dance. I'm adding that move to my repetoire.

Jorge From The Block: In a shameful case of reverse racism, Flem will vote for him simply cuz he speaks espanol. He was the second Elton John casualty of the night. I don't know why Pauler was all choked up. He didn't touch me deep inside but whatever. I'm dead inside anyway.

Fantasia 09/Big Rounds/Huge Square: Ok, fine. She can sing. But I am so over these types of artists. They do NOTHING after the show is over. Never heard a peep out of LaToya way back when. Fantasia has done zero point zero things since winning. Jennifer Hudson? Never heard of her (jay kay). I just don't know if I can take another season of the diva. The judges want to make out with her though so whatareyagonnado?

Predictions are tough this week, you gize.

Boy: Blindy (cuz Americans are suckers)
Girl: Fantasia 09
Other: Chops