Sunday, March 8, 2009

What Have I Done to Deserve This?

Cute kids, huh? Yeah. I think they are bound and determined to keep me humble/tick me off. I don't know why. I've done nothing but try to make their lives comfortable and happy. But they have it out for me.

Case in point: Church Today

I was stopped by two different people in the hall who said "Landee.... I have a HILARIOUS TBone story to tell you!" I hear those words and I brace myself for the worst. This was worse than the worst.

Apparently the theme this month in Primary is the various roles of different family members. Rumor has it that my son, my dear snarky TBone, raised his hand and said that his mom does nothing. That "she sleeps on the couch for 3 hours every day, no wait, maybe even longer. Yeah she sleeps ALL DAY and doesn't do anything. My dad does EVERYTHING. And she's always on the computer." Uh huh. Yup. He did. This is a classic case of the philosophies of TBone mingled with truth. Everyone knows I blog so obviously the last part is true.... now everyone is like "Hmmmmm.... then maybe that first part was true too?" It's awesome.

Then, I asked JBird if they had the same Sharing Time in Sr. Primary. He said they did and he told me (in such a way that I'm led to believe he thought this would cheer me up) that he said I'm a shopper. A SHOPPER. When I was like "WHAT???" He was like "Well, yeah, cuz you go to the store and we wouldn't have anything if you didn't buy it." K, so I DO the shopping. Freakin A. He also claims he said I'm "fun" but this was after he could see I was near tears so I'm guessing that was a bunch of hraka but I give him points for trying.

All of this is unfolding during church and then as we're walking to go get BeeBee out of the nursery, btw. THEN I arrive at the nursery and BeeBee starts crying that she doesn't want to leave the nursery. She is clinging to the nursery leader saying "I don't wanna go home!" Srsly, you'd think she was beaten daily at home by the way she was acting. What three year old wants to STAY in NURSERY???

TBone says he said it "to be funny." I get that. I do stuff in the name of being funny all the time that ends up hurting someone's feelings/embarassing them. Tis a fine line that I am constantly toeing. It must be in the genes and I'm the latest victim. TBone will, most likely, continue to walk this line the rest of his life as well and I'm sure it's not the last time I'll be the joke.

So we had a little talk about the difference between being funny and just flat out being rude/inappropriate that I think he caught no more than 12% of but whatever. I then told him that since I "never do anything around here " and "I nap 3 hours a day" that he could proceed to fix himself some lunch and not to disturb me for the next few hours. He caught my drift.

Also, I hate daylight savings. In the spring.

Bad bad bad bad day.


Ashley said...

In JBirds defense he really did say that you were funny first before he said you were a shopper - I promise. And as far as TBone goes, I think only the people on one side of the room heard him. It really was pretty funny and don't worry those of us who heard him didn't believe it. We know you are a great mom!

Carol said...

I'm sorry--but it WAS funny. The things kids say and get away with. Mercy.

Flem said...

Um, what have you done to deserve this? Hmmm well because you never know who is going to read this I will refrain from pointing out that you accused me in public of making unsavory remarks about ballet dancers, busted me out to a "secret crush" and told my winter formal date that the sound of a cardboard box opening sounded like "one of mine."

Other than that I have absolutely no idea when you have humiliated other people in the name of humor.

Oh and I thought you liked to keep a low profile and make people think you do nothing when you are actually amazing at everything you do in general. This helps you with that, right?

Kathleen Miller said...

I'll back Ashley up on JBirds comment. He did say you were fun first...and we all agreed!

Cameron would cry about leaving nursery. He loves it!

I'm glad my older boys were home sick...who knows what they may have said about me!

Memzy said...

I heart what Flem said the best. Tbone is very much your child I giggled the entire way through!! If it makes you feel better we did the same thing today and Cracker said I did laundry and Char said I crush snails on the sidewalk.

ManicMandee said...

I've heard kids tell me in Primary much worse stuff about their parents.
One girl who's dad was in the Bishopric basically said her parents were abusive and always yelled and so forth.
Sleeping and computer time is way better.

Jenny ESP said...

I love when kids "out" their parents. I can't imagine you making a joke at someone's expense just to get a laugh. Ahem.

Our Family said...

Okay that's too funny about Tbone/Beebs. The JBird comment not only affected you but me. Right after he said you were fun my kid said I was a good cook. I don't want to be a good cook. I want to be FUN!
So I was depressed for the rest of the day while trying to be fun. It was a bad bad day here too.

marcikay said...

I will start by saying.. I hate hate hate spring daylight savings.. It is pure torture..

As for the rest, I totally laughed through this whole thing AND the added comments..

I'm just glad they didn't ask my girls this question..

eekareek said...

That was funny. Good for him for being funny. Some kid in our Primary said (when they asked a similar question) told us all that his parents fight all the time and are never happy with each other. All us teachers were laughing at him (and his parents) for a long time.

Markie23 said...

Next time you drop TBone and Jbird off at primary tell them (loudly so that all the other kids can hear) "Don't worry boys, after church I will put the rubber pads back on your beds, and wash those sheets for you".
Can't help you with beebs though... ouch!

Landee said...

But Flem, those things WERE funny and un-humiliating so I fail to see your point here.

This is when I'm glad the locals can confirm or deny the rumors & then add a nice twist that makes me feel better. Thanks gize!! And Ourf, I'm sure she said "good cook" cuz she didn't want to be a copy cat. You are hilariously fun and you know it!

And for the rest of you who think you're off the hook... maybe the primary people just couldn't find you in the hallway yesterday? Something to think about.

Denver Sims said...

I have to tell you this...when I was in the primary in NY, the kids were telling things about their families and one of the kids says, "Well, my mom and dad drink coffee and sometimes they even smoke but they tell us to not tell anyone, EVER." Mind you, this was a family that comes to church every Sunday and you'd have no idea! OOPS! I kept that little secret neatly tucked away! =]

Anyway, in your defense, seeing you on Saturday reminded me of just how cool you are and that we really need to see you guys more often! There...hopefully that's a little salve for the soul. =D

ShelBailey said...

Boy, am I glad my 12 year old just graduated to YW!

Br Boys said...

I guess my kids had the same lesson because Chunky's teacher stopped me in the hall and said that she asked Chunky what HIS mom did? His answer.....Vaccum. This however is true. I'm a bit addicted to good vaccums.

Katie said...

That. Is. Hillarious. I need to start asking my sunbeams personal family questions...for the first time, I am looking forward to teaching my class. So much you can learn from those younguns'.

About Beebs-everyone knows you don't beat her. You can tell just by looking. Because you wear sweaters with ribbons and have blond hair. People that hit their kids don't wash their faces every night.

Memzy said...