Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hitsville, U.S.A.

Katie thinks Hitsville, U.S.A. sounds like a women's battered shelter.

This blog is comin' atcha live from The Beehive State this week.

My MIL, referring to Randy, said "I don't think I like turquoise on a man."

I srsly think Pauler carries crayons and coloring books around in her purse for when she gets bored.

My in-laws just watched Country Week tonight before the new show.... Phil, a die hard Johnny Cash fan, said he bets they had to dig up Johnny Cash and roll him back over after Adam's "Ring of Fire." I lollerzed.

It pays to go last, you gize. A) People remember you better and 2) The judges keep their comments short.

Let's get it on.....

Matt (DuelingPianos): Speaking of gettin' it on.... no, you gize, get yer head outta the gutter, he SANG "Let's Get it On." Ge'ez. But yeah, back to the gutter, those were the tightest jeans on a man I've seen in a while. Like, male ballet dancer tight. Flem knows what I'm talking about here. I think they helped him hit the high notes. I liked his performance. I like him.

Kris Allen (CutiePatootie): Is he trying to look older or something? What was with the Pedro moustache? It prolly took him a week to grow that thing. Glad his guitar was back. I've decided he looks like Chad/Rob Lowe. I still like him, but my love for him is waning. Mostly cuz he's married.

ScottBlind: Can't you see color through straws? Don't tell me they told him they were pink pants 10 minutes before he went on stage. He's "blind" and a liar now. He wanted those pink pants. Just fess up, Scottie. As for the performance, I was glad the back up singers were there to distract me even further from him. He's getting smarter. I continue to be amazed by his piano skillz and continue to be unimpressed by his singing skillz. Also, saw a closer up of his bro.... not as hawt as I remember. May have been a bad camera angle too.

Megan Joy (TatSleeve/ToddlerDancer): Her looks are like Blindy's blindness. She wouldn't be here if she wasn't drop dead gorge. She shoulda had the Influenza B again. That was her ace in the hole.

Anooooooop: Love him. That being said, he didn't pierce my soul like he did last week. I love Tender Anoop. Really, I do. But Randy is right, he needs to shake it up next week while also singing as well as he has been. He seemed sleepy. Love him.

Michael (OilRigger/GinormNeck): I kinda like the phrase "taking this song to church" but I kinda really don't like him. I've realized that he reminds me of someone from my past who I don't like. Problem is, I can't remember who that person is. But trust me, who ever it is, they're a jagbag. They had to have been to make me, now several years later, hold it against some poor, innocent American Idol contestant. Plus he sux.

Little: Kudos to her stylist for figuring out a way to take the attention away from her SirMixALot's dream backside. That was genius to go with the fringe dress. And wow... her hurr grows fast. Amazing. Is it just me or did she look like she was gonna kick the judges bootys when they were slammin' her? Yikes... I was skurred.

Adam (Guyliner): I'm so mad at him. I was loving to hate him. Now I'm hating to like him. How dare he clean himself up and put an Extreme (More Than Words) twist on his song? Dang him all to heck. The standing ovation was a bit much but, still... very enjoyable. I pray next week snaps me back into reality. ::sigh:: I'm so mad at him.

Danny (RDJ): How does a song ever become popular with the lyrics "Fe Fi Fo Fum" and "Tweedle Dee, Dweedle Dum"..... I mean, really. I must say I loved his synchronized dancing with the back up singers. They got so much face time this show, btw, between Blindy and Danny. Not my favorite song for him but still, he'd have to do a lot to get me off of Team Danny.

Allison (Red): And the nomination for worst outfit of the night goes to.... Lil' Red! Yikes. Cow skull bling leaves something to be desired and multiple swagged chain belts are no good. But she can sing. The best part was Simon drawing that Pedro/Kris Allen moustache on Pauler. Oh. My. Gosh. I lollerzed so hard. That might be my No. 1 favorite AI moment evah. It seemed like she wasn't really sure what he had even done and then she was all embarassed when it was pointed out. Freak. I'm giggling just thinking about it again.


WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Michael
(Bottom 2 last week, did nothing to change that this week)

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Michael
(He shouldn't be like that jerk I knew way back when)

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Adam
(it pains me to type that but I'm just keepin' it real, yo)

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
A tie between Megan & Little

8 comments:

Flem said...

I agree with you on everything but oil rigger. Come on. He is the nicest guy ever, no talky backy to the judges and super sincere. I like that guy. That said, he was no bueno.

I hope you are right because I love Meg. [Looking around] I even bought her rendition of "After Midnight" shhhh. She was royally toasted with the worst performance of the night tho so I have to really think it might be her. Boo.

I was wondering if you would think Adam was good because really, no denying it this time.

Most awkward moment: crayon face. I think that was mean of Simon to take advantage of one of her drugged up nights. She was truly incoherent last night. Truly.

Our Family said...

Guyliner cleaned himself up out of respect for Soul music, not for Country. That's why you're loving him, isn't it?
Red is by FAR the best female vocalist, I thought she did amazing last night. She can sing yo.

Scotty. I thought he was gonna blow up/break down at Simon & Simon thought so too. He looked at his face and quickly backpedaled to "because you are a better artist than that" garbage. Check it.

RDJ. A lil' awkward when he said he'd take Smokey's advise on singing the backup vocals and then didn't actually do it.

Pauler was fooled by Simon's classic British elementary prank, "Oh bloody hell, my pen is out of ink! Let me try to revive it on your upper lip."
Stupid Pauler. Everybody knows that trick.

Markie23 said...

Ok, so check it out dawg... everyone performed exactly as expected. It's not even worth commenting on them because it would just be a rehash of the reviews of previous episodes... everyone that is EXCEPT.... Adam. I think he brought Smokey Robinson to tears y'all. Srsly, it was good. Now I feel better about throwing him some votes in the past while all my blogger buddies were rippin' him one.

Gone this week?... Yeah Michael... jagbag or not he's just not a contender. Also in the bottom three... Megan Corkrey...er... Meghan Joy Wassupwidat?! Did I miss the memo that said she is now dropping her last name? Srsly, we had company last night watching Idol with us, and I'm wondering if during our "idol" chatter I missed an announcement or something. I find it annoying... like when Hillary Clinton announced she would no longer be referred to as Hillary Clinton but would heretofore be known as her royal queen majesty the lady Hillary RODHAM Clinton the third. I actually like the name Megan Corkrey better than Megan Joy. Maybe it sounded extra silly since I was eating an Almond Joy during the show, and she really didn't need to give me yet another reason NOT to vote for her.

Memzy said...

Idol is the best TV show on the planet.

Sometimes I have "dreams" about Simon.

Jenny ESP said...

Ah, we are in complete agreement. I think the reason I laughed so hard at Pauler's mustache was bc Simon was so genuinely giggly about it.

Katie kills me with her irreverence. In a good way.

Mark--Her name was Megan Joy Corkery, so she just dropped the third name. Still odd, yes, but the "Joy" was always there. I don't really want her to go, not bc I like her singing, but bc I like her toddler dance. There's a good chance she'll be gone, I'm afraid. Hopefully Oil Rigger and his creepy smile will be out.

Jana said...

Lollerz. Oil rigger annoys me to no end. And like you, I can't quite place my finger on it. From his scrunched up nose when he really gets into it, to his singing out of the side of his mouth - EW!!!

Katie said...

You are so right! I love this because I can just sit back and say I agree with everything you said. We are synced up, sista!

My words were battered woman's shelter...get it right next time.

StandsMom said...

Wait wait wait wait wait! I'm finally watching. So after gayliner sang, Cara says, "I've got six words for you 'One of the best performances of the night.'" Ummmmmmm, that's 8, right? Maybe she meant, 'one uvthe best performances uvthe night.'. I still don't like him.