I'm telling you, these posts are becoming more and more difficult to write. The contestants (for the most part) are blah. Their performances (for the most part) are blah. And now I have to endure ELVIS week with Adam Lambert as the mentor? Srsly? AI is practically begging me to stop watching. If I were on the show I wouldn't listen to a thing Adam said. He came in second place fhs. Which, really, is just first loser. He's not gonna be on the poster behind future auditions, is he? No. ::plugging ears and singing LALALALALA really loud when he gives me advice:: <---cuz we're still pretending like I'm a contestant, remember?
Anyway, let's begin....
I don't remember and refuse to go back and rewatch
This performance reminded me of something....what was it....hmmm.....::tapping finger on side of head and looking thoughtful:: Oh yeah! All. Her. Other. Performances. That's what the judges mean when they say "another solid performance" btw. It's code for "you're boring but you don't suck so what can we say?" You're lucky you have me here to crack the judges' codes and stuff.
Hound Dog song
::ggghhuuuuccchhhhhssssszzzz:: <--- that's me snoring the second he started singing. Wow. That was a str8 up snoozefest! I mean, I can't even pretend to like that performance. Superdeedooperdee boring. I hate to say it but I think I'm falling out of like with Andrew. I'm gonna have my BFF tell his BFF that we are breaking up. Or I guess these days I could just text him? Man, kids have it easy now.
Can't Help Falling In Heart With You
Adam loves Tim, Adam loves Tim ::said all grade school taunty:: Adam was practically begging Tim to sing in his upper register so he'd sound more feminine. He claimed it "sounded pretty." Turban didn't listen, btw. The last thing this Catholic boy was gonna do was take orders from Adam Lambert, believe me on this. This reminded me of Jason Castro's performance of Hallelujah. Very simple, tender, raw. I liked it. I like him. I might make him my new boyfriend since Andy and I broke up.
Little Less Conversation
Oh he would sing my favorite American Idol Elvis song!!! Of course he would! Remember when Jon Peter Lewis did this one?? And Daughtry? This is the song all the cool kids pick. Lee now being added to this prestigious list. Loved it. Love him.
Blue Suede Shoes
He's, like, the opposite of Lee. Of course he's got his collar up...it's Elvis night! Duh! And of course he's gonna sing Blue Suede Shoes! What other Elvis songs are there, right? Aaron...you're young and dumb. I'm done.
Oh. Em. Gee. Her hair--sideburns! Her outfit-- naughty senior executive suit! Her singing-- eh. I mean, she worked in her screechy high note so that's good (for her). But I did like her sassing back to the judges a bit about "what kind of singer she is" because I've always disagreed with their philosophy that every performance needs to be the same as the others (i.e. Crystal). I like a little variety. I've heard it's the spice of life.
In the Ghetto
Oh man. This song reminds me of Taylor Hicks. That is not a good association, btw. My nose was wrinkled up in disgust from the get-go. And then there was Mike sitting there "telling a story" as usual. I just wanted to stand up and scream BLAH BLAH BLAH already! Then the judges were all rushed (they all wanted to watch Glee just as bad as we did) so Simon laid it on reeeeeal thick how good he had done to make it seem like they had made the right decision in saving him. Whatevs. I'm not falling for that crap. I hope you didn't either.
Baby, What Do You Want Me To Do? (or something like that)
I took no notes here cuz I was too busy making Katie Grandma jokes via text.
Down in Misery (?)
Jenny thought it might have been called "Lawdy Miss Claudy." Who cares tho, right? He looked good with his hair back in a pony. No curling iron for him this week. And it was entertaining. And he kills on that guitar. It's a bit "another solid performance-y" but I forgive him more than Crystal.
Double whammy this week so choose carefully, my friends.
My bottom three:
PS Ryan's Dunkleman joke was the funniest thing ever. I forgot to mention.