Monday, October 6, 2008

Part-Time Single Mother

Gty started his own business about a year & a half ago. Before that he was what I called "a shell of a man" as his work was sucking him dry. They would call him morning, noon & night... and that was on Sunday. It blew, to say the least. So we decided to take a leap of faith & see if Gty could make something work by being his own boss rather than be entangled in the golden handcuffs that is Corporate America. He partnered up with a buddy of his from the mish and they've been going like gangbusters ever since. We haven't starved to death yet anyway, so that's good.

Anyway, with his new "job" he has to travel to Utah every other week (that's where his buddy and the work is). However, on his off-week he works from home. People are always like "Gty is out of town AGAIN? How do you handle it?" Well, you see, what I am is a glass-is-half-full type of girl so I look at the good in each situation. The reality is that I see him more now than I did while he was "working for the man." "The man" had him going in at the buttcrack of dawn and not getting home until 10pm at night- all the time. "The man" was calling him on Saturdays & Sundays and demanding he get into the office right away for some super important stuff. "The man" was a jagbag.

So what we have now is a nice situation where Gty flies out on Monday morning and home on Friday night every other week. What we have now is two separate but equal schedules that kick in depending on if Gty is around. What we have now are two schedules that each have their perks, if you look in the right places.

Schedule #1: Gty is Home
  • We eat real meals as a family.
  • I put BB down for a nap and head out to run errands free as a bird.
  • Gty & I chat all day because he sets up shop right in the dining room off the kitchen (rather than in the office which is far away, and plus that computer is nice to keep open for the boys).
  • We go out to lunch on occasion to hold hands & ponder life's big questions.
  • We have FHE (I'm not motivated enough to do it on my own, I guess).
  • He helps run the schedule of scouts/YW/football practice/TaeKwonDo, etc. It's like having another me running the kids around!
  • We bite pillows on the regulah (teehee).
  • We go to the gym together every day.

Schedule #2: Gty is Gone
  • We eat cereal & frozen pizza all week.
  • I go to bed whenever I feel like it.
  • The dining room table is decorated nicely with fall decor and a table runner rather than a laptop connected to another computer monitor connected to a powerstrip connected to a pile of papers, etc.
  • There is no talk of sports or sports watching.
  • When I reach my hand into my bag of licorice, there is the same amount in there as the last time I reached my hand in.
  • I get out of a lot of stuff because I just say "Well, I guess I could... but Gty is out of town so...." It totally works every time.
  • I'm not late for my gym classes because Gty's not there to "hurry & use the bathroom" right before we're leaving.
So see? We're good either way. Now you don't have to feel sorry for me when I mention that Gty is out of town. However, if you call & need me to do something then I probably can't... because Gty's out of town & stuff. It's so..::sniff:: ...hard.

::winking like the Orbitz girl::


Ashley said...

i love the bite the pillows comment!

quesetescapa said...

There are similarities to the sitch at our house when I travel. I am actually glad to hear that people ask you that question since it irritates me when people ask Steve (I always think "Would you ask him if here were a woman?" but apparently they would)

Markie23 said...

Did you know that the entire first year that Cherie and I were married (btw, there was a time warp between H.S. and our wedding in 2001 whereby the space time continuum was whack... and now a couple exes, and 5 kids between us later, the universe seems to be slowly coming to order again) she lived in Gilbert, AZ, and I lived in Bako, CA.
I had a 9/80 schedule and every other weekend I would drive to AZ or she would come to CA. Thank goodness gas was cheaper back then. It was tough but we got through it.
Where is gty working? What kind of work does he do? Any chance you will all be living in Utah some day? Aren't I full of questions?

Sox said...

I have the same feelin's about the DH bein' out o' town. There are things I can do so much better when he is not here (like forget to cook real meals). And there are good reasons for him to stay in town, like give me motivation to keep the house clean, and give me a break from the kids for 5 minutes, or decide to blow off work for a day and do something fun for the whole family. (Last night he decided to go somewhere this thursday, RANDOM!)

Hot Pants said...

Dwight travels a lot too. I don't mind it. Like you say, they both have their perks. At least I know the pillows will last through this week. (I just dropped him off @ the airport)

Jenny ExtraSpecialPowers said...

We've never had a "normal" schedule, but it's much improved since Tony FINALLY finished his lifelong commitment to higher education. ::eye roll::

In fact, I had planned to blog about our unusual schedule/complain about Tony/forgive him. I'll go work on it...

PS I feel sorry for you/jealous.

Erin Beck said...

I absolutely LOVE and I mean LOVE being a single parent all the time!!! So rewarding and fullfilling (eye roll..copied that from Jenny). Not only do I hate to cook but I dont know how which leaves for a very clean kitchen...wait what did tht have to do with being a single parent.

P.S. I am trying to write this at work and at the same time the computer nerd from the lab is talking to me and wont go away..he is talking about how to make great noodles in the mac in cheese by adding just the right amount of water blah blah blah...maybe I really do like being single, these dudes are all ANNOYING!!

Jill said...

Bite the pillows! Sweeeet! Frankly, I have decided that the travel is not that bad. I suppose it's the glass-half-full idea. I get to stay up and do whatever I want as late as I want and all that wifey pressure is gone. He's not gone as much as Gty, but adjust I must when his job covers the entire state of Alaska. It's kinda big.

Memzy said...

I am really glad and happy for you that you love it so much. That is a good attitude to have. I'm super lucky that my husband just happens to NOT have that kind of schedge cuz I think I'd lose my mind missing him. I'm a girl of schedules and routines for sure. Maybe it's that OCD in me. <--yup, pretty sure that's it.

I personally think it is cool that different marriages work different ways. If we were all the same it would be so flanking boring, no?

Landee said...

Look at us all in the same boat!! Love it!

I forgot to add:

Gty is Gone:

* kids have homework done, bathed, teef brushed, jammies on, in bed by 8:15pm cuz what else do we have to do?

Gty is Home: (unperk)

* kids stay up late watching sporting events/playing with Gty. I miss the "get in bed happy" window and all hellz breaks loose.

Memzy said...

Whycome your kids never go "but when dad is home we never have to go to bed this early!" and stuff. Cuz that would drive me crazy enough to make bed time constant.

Landee said...

Because I told their teachers to make them leave the classroom when it was "Learn How to Tell Time" day.

Landee said...

I just did some research Memz, and it's not OCD... the proper medical term is co-dependency.


sarastrasser said...

Wow!! I was really behind!! I love it when Lil' Organ (my husband, that is his nick name) is out of town. No showers, no cleaning, and endless shmorgessborging.

Memzy said...

So, you have no digital clocks in your house? Weird. How does Jbird know when the BY game is gonna be on and stuff?

The OCD is for the schedules. The co-dependency is how in LOOOOOVE we are. ::slobbery kisses and stuff::

ahab said...

I can't really relate since I am single and have no kids. I do travel alot though.

Carol said...

Congrats on the positive attitude girl. It's the only way to rock and roll. Case in point: Your Dad, Me, Gramma Decker as apposed to "others". I'm shutting my mouth now. Love you

Hot Pants said...

Is Carol related to any Deckers in LesBois?

Annie said...

I have one of those self-employed guys in my house too and even though he's not handcuffed to "the man" anymore he sure is stressed out ALL the time. Trying to decide which is worse ::hum, I'm thinking:: Anyway glad to hear it's working for you.

BTW: I promise I'm sending your package TOMORROW!!!! I know, I know you can't wait.

Memzy said...

Um, hello, Hot Pants! That is where Landee and I originated. Carol's mom is from there and she and her siblings (ie Landee's dad) grew up there and still lives there. And you know that Carol is my mom right? Small world.

Hot Pants said...

Are you related to Orton's too?
I went on a group date to one of the HS dances with a Decker. I only remember cuz I was recently looking through old dance pictures. Remember that post? That's where my hot pants name originated. Only back then it was puffy sleeved hot pants.

Landee said...

I don't know how related we are to any Deckers that would be your age, HotPants. Grandpa Decker was our step-grandpa (tho we loved him like our own!) and so we didn't really know his kids/their kids very well. And we're definitely not blood related to any of them.

Did he have red hair?

Hot Pants said...

And I know Carol is your mom. I left a comment about the position of her arm in her prom post. she has yet to respond to my question. I will keep waiting though. You know how patient I can be.

Hot Pants said...

It was a she, and blond. I said it was a group date, just to clarify, I wasn't on a date with a girl. Not that I would care if you ever were.

Landee said...

You are so non-judgmental like that. It's one of the things I appreciate about you.

Jenny ExtraSpecialPowers said...

It's kicking in your comments.

Landee said...

Wickywickywicky woot?

Katie said...

I just realized that you are me...a funnier version...look how much time I have to blog today. That is because I'm SINGLE baby.