Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Stop. Now.

Why? Seriously, WHY?

So I'm checking out at Target yesterday and the guy cashier proceeded to do one of my biggest pet peeves for about 6 minutes.

He commented on what I was buying.

I don't ask much. Really. Just ring up my stuff and then give me the unbelievable total (Target always gets me!), I'll swipe my card, sign on the digitized pad thingy and go about my business. That is how this relationship should work. This is how I NEED it to work.

But no, it went something like this (just so you can picture this more vividly, he was possibly mildly retarded and had some gay tendencies... just so you can "hear" it, k?):

TargetGuy: Ooooh, nice shiny hooks! These are so useful & cute!

Me: ::blank stare:: Um...

TG: Did you find anything on clearance toda..... oh yes! Back in Domestics! ::said all singsongy::

TG: Wow, look at all these cute little fall decorations you got... where are you going to put this?

Me: Er....

TG: Have you been up to the mountains this fall? It is absolutely GORGEOUS! You HAVE to go!

TG: Wha? Wait.. I've never seen this before? How long have we had this? Hmm... I need to get me some of this...

Srsly. Unbelievable.

And THEN at the end he gets my receipt along with those annoying coupons that print out automatically and he said in the loudest voice ever "Ooookay! So now you get a coupon for two dollars off Pampers Kandoo Toilet Wipes!"

This is not the first time this has happened to me. I remember the first time was waaay back in Indiana pre-Jbird. I had gotten some Redi-Whip and this punk 16yo kid who was bagging my groceries picked it up, paused, and goes "What are you going to use THIS for?" I was so bugged I just said "Don't comment on what people are buying." I hope he never did that again and my on-the-job training for him was a success.

My friend told me of a time when she had gotten a meatloaf kit-in-a-box thing and the kid cashier picked it up and goes "Yuck." Sadly, on this one I have to agree with the kid. Meatloaf is sick. A meatloaf kit is even worse. But still, no commenting.

The absolute WORSE one was when we had just moved to South Carolina. We were thinking of getting preggers with BeeBee sometime in the near future. As I was going through this little grocery store I noticed they had their pregnancy tests on sale. So, naturally, I picked up a couple for future use. I get up to the cash register and the lady cashier beeps one through and then looks at me, holds up the p.test and says all sneakingly "So, are you hoping for a positive or a negative?"

Um, what? I'm so bugged I didn't have the wherewithal to be like "Well, it'd better be negative or else my sterile husband is gonna be reeeeeal mad!"

The nerve.

47 comments:

Jenny ExtraSpecialPowers said...

This is exactly the reason men have a hard time buying Tampons and stuff like that. I always have cashiers that comment on how much food I'm buying. Like, "you having company?" Just tell me my kid is cute and then zip it.

Emily said...

Oohh that annoys me! I'm always bracing myself from some stupid comment on how much cereal and processed food I'm buying. Now tell us what you are using those "shiny hooks" for huh?

quesetescapa said...

I can honestly say I don't care one iota about what people in the store say to me. I think that I would be that annoying cashier like "ooh good price!" Then again, I like conversing with strangers...

samandlysander said...

I also hate people at the store commenting on what I buy. It is almost as bad as a waitress at a restaurant coming by every 5 seconds and asking you how your doing when you clearly have a mouth full of food. That drives me insane. I have to take an awkward amount of time swallowing my food to tell her I'm okay already.

Sox said...

You just need to have a built in conversation distraction, like why your kids have the most ridiculous name pair "did you mean to name them that?" or something else to drive the conversation away from what they shouldn't be saying anyway.

Landee said...

Q, you're telling me you'd like it if some cashier was like "What's with all this organic crap? You know that's just a marketing scheme,right?"

Sox, if they know your kids' names then they've already talked too much.

Sam, totally.

SpeshulPowers, how much food do you buy? Those Lean Cuisines take up a lot of room I guess.

Emily, I'd love to tell YOU what I'm doing.... I'm actually hanging them half way down the back of the bathroom door so my kids can hang up their own freaking towels.

MorganStrasser said...

I buy tampons for sara sometimes and when I do I always tell the cashier that they are for incase I get a bloody nose while playing soccer.
Sometimes I even force the conversation because I can tell that it will make them uncomfortable. Which by the way serves them and their nosey kind right!

Erin Beck said...

You know what I HATE Landee, when people (mostly Asians and no thats not racist its a fact) dump all there change on my counter and make me wait while they count out all there pennies dropping half on the floor then they bend down to pick it all up and I am just standing there starring at them and a long line is forming...so irritating!

Hot Pants said...

I just experienced this last night at Walmart. Only the cashier was doing it to the couple in front of me and taking FOREVER. I made several loud comments to the lady behind me in reguards to our cashier. By the time I got up there, she kept her yapper shut for me. I am guessing she might have heard me.

Keeping Up with the Joneses said...

I'm afraid I'm guilty as charged ! I comment on other people's stuff too ! I strike up conversations with strangers and answer people's questions when they're talking on their bluetooths (is that the plural of bluetooth ? or is it blueteeth?) The other day I got the lady behind me in line to go get me some more sugar because mine got a hole half way through the store and made a trail of sticky, white,sand through the entire store. I told the cashier I was playing "Hansel and Gretl" with my kids. But the lady (just a customer not an employee) did go get me more sugar. I like talking to strangers - they don't take me to srsly !

Memzy said...

Ah yes. The infamous "cashier talker". You can just make stuff up to embarrass them like Strasser does.

Cashier: "So, with all of this soda you must be having a football party or something?"

Me: "No, I just make my kids drink at least three cans a day before they can have any milk. Milk is expensive!"

Landee said...

MORGAN! To what do I owe this honor?

Erin.... so I guess you're a cashier then? K, well, don't comment on people's stuff. Btw, I just went back and rewatched Destiny's Mama and now that I cyber-know you, I laughed my head off.

HotTrousers, I need examples of the types of comments you made in regards to the cashier. All I could do was look a the teenage girl behind me with a "Help me!" look on my face.

Jonesy, I've always thought you and Q would be BFFs if you ever met IRL. And trust me, that's a compliment because she is my favorite person of all time.

Memz, it's hard to think of things on the fly but I will try my hardest next time.

Oh, you should have heard all the rodent catching tips the lady gave me at WalMart when I bought SEVEN mousetraps. Ugh.

Carol said...

Tiffers,
Loved your blog today and as usual--laughed out loud. Cris and I went to Target today and I was smiling at my cashier the whole time with uplifted eyebrows waiting for her conversation. But alas, she speaka no Ingles. California shoppin'

Memzy said...

I'm assuming that "favorite person of all time" is only ones that are not blood related?

Katie said...

neet TIT

MorganStrasser said...

My comment was a reference to the disney channel movie where the twin brother and sister traded places cause she is really good at soccer and he didn't want to go to the private school so she did and she played soccer and dressed like a guy and everyone thought that she was and then when one guy asked her what the tampons were for she put one in her nose and consequently started at trend... I am sorry that I just assumed that everyone would get the reference.

My entire last comment was right along the comment conversation line because I was taling a bout a dialogue between myself and a cashier just like you were in your post except for the fact that your post was about a cashier initiating an unwanted conversation and my scenario was the opposite in that I initiated the uncomfortable conversation.

Dr. Phil said...

Next time the cashier comments on a food item you are buying just say "I crave this every time my herpes flare up"

Dr. Phil said...

Thats wha I do, but then again when I say it it is usually true... and it's clausen dill pickle spears!

Jenny said...

I think I know exactly who you're talking about. He does that to me, too.

Last week, I had one lady get too chatty with me about the Halloween candy I was buying for the Kindergarten party. Long story short, she ended up the conversation feeling really old because she discovered that I started Kindergarten the year after she graduated from high school. Ask too many questions and you'll find out things you don't want to hear, Target Lady.

Annie said...

Sorry so late...Love your stories. I have to say that I actually hope someone will talk to me so I can practice my witty comebacks. Thanks for giving me a few more.

Package in motion...REPEAT...Package in motion.

Anonymous said...

I don't normally comment on strangers blogs but here goes- not to disagree with everyone but is it really that hard to be nice to the lonely/friendly Cashier who may be disabled. How bout a little compassion folks. For five minutes I think we can all handle a little chitchat. Also I think some of you sound a tiny bit racist. I know this sounds preachy but I think kindness matters.

Landee said...

Is talkative cashiers a race?

Interesting....

Anonymous said...

No, talkative cashiers are not a race, but Asians are and I assume the california cashier was hispanic. Read back on the comments list. I'm sure the two comments weren't meant to sound so bad but I think sometimes people don't think.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Loves Us All. Even friendly Gay cashiers.

Landee said...

To clarify: I don't mind friendliness... I don't like COMMENTS on what I'm BUYING. My purchases are a private matter.

I'm suddenly racist against anonymous commentors.... SHOW YOURSELF fhs.

Get a Mirror You Gize said...

I am getting a little sick of all the sensitivity going on. I say, unless you have NEVER, EVER been offensive yourself, quit complaining about being offended!

How about this, I'm offended that people have to constantly make me feel like a schmuck.

Jenny ESP said...

^that's not me. Wanted to clarify since it sorta sounds like me, but I would have been like, "When you point your finger at someone, three other fingers on that hand are pointing back at you." Try it you gize.

Srsly, it's best to keep your judgments to yer self. Voicing your judgments of people only makes your victims take YOU into account, cuz nobody's perfect so it would be easy to find something wrong with you (perhaps that's why you remained Anon?). Vicious cycle you gize.

Anonymous said...

Ummm I think you are pointing at me now. I am staying anon because I am a little afraid of you all. I just felt bad for that cashier and felt like I should stick up for him. You can be sick of people being offended, I'm sick of mean people.

ps-you sound kind of offended.

Annie said...

There is beauty all around when there's love at home...

Let us oft speak kind words to eachother...

FHS??

Jenny ESP said...

Don't worry, L, I got this...

I understand why you are scared, anon--if yer gonna publically pass judgment on people, it's best to remain anon, cuz what if they go to your blog, judge something you posted, and then make you feel like a total jerk in front of your family and friends? That totally wouldn't be fair! Cuz they don't even know you!

And I think it's very brave of you to stand up for an unknown cashier. Anonymously. I mean, it's not like you know guy, so why should you publically put yourself out there and risk ridicule for a stranger? You are kindhearted, indeed. Thanks for setting Landee straight. She's mean and deserves to be told so. Publically.

PS. don't steal my burns. I don't claim to be above reproach. That's you.

Katie said...

This is me reading the comments:
laughing-laughing-laughing-laughing until about comment 20 then uncomfortable. I bet it is a gay mexican that talks all sing songy.

ManicMandee said...

Landee,

I have only visited your blog twice and then today heard about a little drama going on and decided to pop on over again. Jenny can attest to all the attention you get when a little commotion is caused. And then ultimately things work out and we are all happy again. No worries. Landee and "Anon" you are both great people I am sure. But the winner of the comment prize today is Annie with her "There is beauty all around when there's love at home...

Let us oft speak kind words to eachother..." comment. And what is "Fhs" by the way? I am curious.

Be flattered because I haven't been blogging/able to read everyone's blogs for 3 days. Sometimes I get so behind. But you still got a comment from me.

All is well. All is well.

Landee said...

Wow... this has gotten fun whilst I was away from my desk!

::doing the point thing:: You are so right Jenny. I'm gonna start pointing with my whole hand from now on.

My thing is, if you're going to call people to repentance, at least get credit for it! I don't remember Samuel the Lamanite having a paper bag over his head. ::rereading scriptures:: Nope, no bag. When this account is written down, they're just gonna have to be like "And then it came to pass that that one anonymous/askeered person said 'Be niceth to the Target guy you racists'" and then you'll never be properly quoted in Sac. meeting and stuff <--- my ultimate goal, btw.


PS I still claim I have nothing to repent for though. If you no likey, no read-y. Mmmmkay?

danandcami said...

I am with you on this one! Checker training 101 NO COMMENTS!!!!

Anonymous said...

Now who is Samuel and what is a lamanite? Also I can see all of your points and I never meant to come off as self righteous but I think I am just a little sensitive because I have an Aunt that is mentally disabled so I have always felt like it was my job to defend people like her. You are right that this was probably not the right forum. I randomly came across this blog through one of my friends while blog browsing and should have just minded my own business. I really am sorry. Also I am not the only anon commenting I did not say the Jesus comment just so you know.

Katie said...

This is Tom. I was at Albertsons today and I saw a gay Mexican cashier totally making out with a china-man in the isle where they sell the re fried beans. I wonder if it was the same guy. It was all funny until a black man stole the gay Mexicans purse and the china-man threw his change at the black man but missed because his eyes are all slanty.

Landee said...

Thank you Tom for that lesson on what is truly racism and what is not.

::hovering over delete icon::

Katie said...

By the way if my name was "anonymous" I'd be sensitive too. I wanted to name my first boy "nobody", but Katie thought that might make him a Debbie-Downer and he'd start leaving whiny comments on other peoples blogs.

Yes this is Tom

Anonymous said...

You guys are right, I'm a tool. We're all family and I shouldn't be treating you this way. I suck. I'm stinky most the time, I only eat Hot Pockets and it's getting to me and I'm gay.

Anonymous said...

Ok so this is my last comment. I said 2 commenters sounded a little bit racist not that they were and I said I was sorry and tried to explain my intent. I am not sure what else to say... All I was ever trying to get across was that we could be a little Kinder.

Anonymous said...

Ok so this is my last comment. I said 2 commenters sounded a little bit racist not that they were and I said I was sorry and tried to explain my intent. I am not sure what else to say... All I was ever trying to get across was that we could be a little Kinder.

Anonymous said...

Ok so this is my last comment. I said 2 commenters sounded a little bit gay not that they were and I said I was sorry and tried to explain my intent. I am not sure what else to gay... All I was ever trying to get across was that we could be a little gayer.

Anonymous said...

This is my last comment. I have a brother in-law in who likes to make up racist blogs, by pretending he is of ethnic decent. So I feel it is my duty to protect racists. That is the only reason I jumped into here to say something.

quesetescapa said...

You promised not to host political discussions in your blog landee. You have let me down indeed.

sarastrasser said...

Wow!! I haven't really been blogging for a week and a half and I really missed out!!! I almost went back to sleep this morning instead of reading blogs but so glad I didn't. I would have missed this!

Sam, Shel & Co said...

Wow, I missed this little drama.

I think I'd enable the "no anonymous comments" feature if I was you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, anon, for being courageous, and kind and bold.