It's My Birthday...

... but more importantly, it was the AI results show last night!

Lemme do a quick run down of my thoughts.....

::ring ring:: It's my parents wishing me a happy b-day and wondering if I have watched the results show yet. I tell them no. They proceed to tell me "OOOOOOOOOHhhhh boy! Well you better take a couple of asprin before you watch cuz it's a major shocker!!!!!"

Wha? Srsly? K, just tell me then.... I can't handle a big shocker tonight.

They decline and just tell me to go watch it.... "but maybe when it gets down to the bottom two just turn off the TV and go to bed.... don't bother watching the end."

Mkay? This is weird. ::start having panic attacks that Kris goes home::

I get off the phone ASAP and push play.

Decent ensemble number. Probably the best one so far. And no lip syncing either. Nice.

Nice staged food fight in the kitchen. $6000.000 to clean that up?? Imma move to CA and start a cleaning business. My kids make a mess like that daily and I get paid nada to clean it up.

HOW COULD ADAM FALL FOR THE OLDEST AI TRICK IN THE BOOK???? Has he never watched this show before? If you're the last one and they try and make you pick a group on your own.... YOU DON'T CHOOSE. You just look like an idiot/jagbag either way. I thought he was smarter than that. How humiliating to choose the "good" group only to be sent over to the "bad group" as a member of the bottom three. Dumb Adam. Dumb.

How is Kris in the bottom three, btw?? I guess I need to start voting now.

Natalie Cole is still alive? Is that gold draperies she is wearing?

::Fast Forward::

::awkward shot of the bottom three making small talk backstage::

Taylor Hicks.... gosh. If he looked 40 when he was competing on AI, he looks 50 now.

::Fast Forward::

:::HUGE sigh of relief as Kris is sent back safe:::

Jamie FoxX to perform.... I'm guessing now the AI contestants are thinking to themselves "We took advice from THIS guy?" Did he really sing through a reverb machine the whole time? He looks like an actor acting like an R&B artist. Terrible. Not to mention he's trying to bring the term "cats" back. "Dees cats righ' here.... dem cats is for realz." Uh-huh.

Bottom TWO: Matt and Adam

::trying to decide if I'd be sad if Adam went home::

Matt is gone.

::Fast Forward cuz I can't stand hearing My Funny Valentine again::

::contemplate calling parents to see what they were referring to.... decide against it and watch The Biggest Loser instead::

So there you have it.

As for my b-day, I slept in, skipped the gym, and went shopping with my "negotiated amount of b-day money," met fun friends for lunch and shopped some more. I now have some decent warm weather attire... stocked up on Roxy tees big time.

I can't wait to see what BeeBee & the boys got me.

AI: Rat Pack

So apparently I have a deadline for doing my AI recap.... for some reason I figured I had until the results show to air my grievances and submit my predictions. I guess not. I woke up to this from Flem....

Okay what? I came here for my AI recap and nothing. Nothing. You are letting me down here sister.

She then goes on to do her OWN post in the comments of my last post..... I shall put hers in italics so you can contrast and compare. She deserves to be recognized for her efforts plus you get a twofer today! Plus if you're interested in real-life banter betwixt The Flemsta and I, click HERE or HERE to listen to our latest podcast. Her is so silly.



I wonder if the Double X in Foxx was added later.... you know, for star power. A single X would not have landed him that role in Ray.

Why does Jamie Foxx make me feel uncomfortable?

Loved the shot of Adam getting his makeup touched up for Jamie FoxX's arrival.

Why does Matt Giraud wear those hats?

May 21st..... So You Think You Can Dance premiere!!!!

Who is Paulers Pharmacist?

I wish this woulda been the "Brat Pack" instead of the Rat Pack.... then we coulda had Simple Minds, INXS, and "If You Leave" by OMD instead of these lame "standards."

Top Five Breakdown:

Kris Allen
"The Way You Look Tonight"

He's got a little Pedro stache kickin' there.... not sure about that but YES on the suit. Very snazzy and by snazzy I mean yummy. He totally played the rat packer role to a T. The fact that I enjoyed the performance has everything to do with him and his impeccable vocals and boyish good looks and not the song. This night was torture for me as far as songs go. Too bad it was a bit "wet." What the?

Swooner. Perfect performance yet again, definitely in the top two. They didn't even focus in on his lil wife though and who else was he singing to? All the teenagers in the audience, thats who. And me (landee) of course. Best line of the night "that clears it up."

Red
"Someone To Watch Over Me"

First of all, to pull a Pauler, she's never looked better than she did last night. I can't believe she just turned 17. She doesn't look a day over 40. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. I loved her voice. She won't win this but I think I will love her stuff she eventually releases.

Man can she sing. Who says she has no personality?? Isn't humility refreshing Simon? Why you gotta ask her those hard questions right after she knocks everyone's socks off? I'm with Randy on this one for sure. It is a SINGING competition. Besides she is hilarious and she really doesn't care what anyone says which is why I love her. Oh and she actually looked good. Props to the stylist.

Matt Giraud
"My Funny Valentine"

Thank goodness for the hat. Perfect night for a good fedora to keep "the thing" under wraps. He had some interesting runs in there that I enjoyed but I did not like that mobster accent he was crooning with though. And I didn't think it was great overall. What is with Simon saying he loved it? I think Simon is trying to mess with America. He's doing an experiment to see if his opinion is the only one that matters on this show. If Allison goes & Matt stays, we'll have our answer.

Did the judges hear something different? Cuz it sounded like crap on my HD. J. Foxx is going to rue the day he said to drop it to a key that everyone knows the guy doesn't sing well. And the hat, people, the hat.

Gokey
"Come Rain Or Come Shine"

It's confirmed.... he has fresh breath. Memzy will be happy about that. Bump....set....spike! There is the consistency we enjoy so much! Enjoyed it. It looks like he's lost a few elbees too. Or maybe that is the magic of stylists I'm lookin at. Either way, looking good Mr. Gokey. Lookin' good.

Okay memz now we all know why you love this guy long time. For the first time in weeks he really brought down the house. The roof was def. on fire.

Adam Ant
"Feeling Good"

I know I should never be surprised but what is with that creepy Liberace suit? I think it was its sheen that threw me. Wardrobe aside...... holy cow. Niiiiice vocals. Could you believe that crazy long note? The camera had time to go all the way around him. Gty hated it. I liked it. It was a bit over the top for me to say I LOVED it, but it made me smile.

Okay this guy is such an incredible performer that it doesn't even matter what he does at this point. He is going to be picked up on broadway lickety split. I won't buy what he is selling but you can't deny it he is a @#$@# rider. Honestly.

Who will go:
Matt
Matt

Who deserves to go:
Matt
Matt

The next weeks are gonna be hard people, very hard.

Not really. Allison next and then it'll be how everyone figured it would turn out from the beginning. Who goes first from the remaining three though????????? We'll talk/fret about that when the time comes.....

Also, OurFam left a comment on Flem's "post" already (you gize are so on top of things!) and I have posted it below.... again, so her efforts don't go unnoticed.

Thank you Flem for stepping in with the AI breakdown!
I too got on this morning and wondered what the heck happened to Landee! I'm slightly worried actually.
I honestly hope Matt goes home, but all of these top fivers are super talented. I have a bad feeling that Simon dug a grave for Allison though. He couldn't jab her on her vocals so he went with the whole "not committed" thing. Don't get it.

I'll give you one guess...

....as to who decided this was acceptable church attire.

Kids Speak PLUS MEMZY LIVE!

So I have a couple of friends (OurFam and Standsmom) who asked their kids the following questions. I lollerzed at their kids' answers and figured I'd do the same. Apparently I watch too much American Idol.... I'll let you be the judge.


What is something your mom always says to you?
* JBird- “Your gas stinks.” (if you ever smelled it you'd know what I'm talkin' about... So. Bad.)
* Tbone- “Oh my….”
* BeeBee- “Smurfs”

What makes your mom happy?
* JBird- shopping
* TBone- American Idol
* BeeBee- my funny faces, no grumpies, just happies

What makes your mom sad?
* JBird- nothing
* TBone- Me getting in trouble (later at dinner he said "I should have said Family Home Evening makes you sad.... o....k?)
* BeeBee- nothing

What makes your mom laugh?
* JBird- TBone’s jokes
* TBone- Me acting silly
* BeeBee- Brynnie

What was your mom like as a child?
* JBird- Smart
* TBone- Pretty
* BeeBee- get in the baf!

How old is your mom?
* JBird- 33
* TBone- 33
* BeeBee- Um, I dunno… nufing?

How tall is your mom?
* JBird- 5’ 4’’
* TBone- about 17 foot 6
* BeeBee- ::puts arm up:: Way big

What does your mom like to watch on TV?
* JBird- American Idol
* TBone- American Idol
BeeBee- Cerican Idol!

What does your mom do when you're not around?
* JBird- Shop…. ::dirty look:: Go on the computer, I mean.
* TBone- watch Beebs
* BeeBee- nobody (that's true)

If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
* JBird- Anything
* TBone- a rock star
* Sassy – (didn’t understand the question)

What is your mom really good at?
* JBird- Being a good mom
* TBone- watching us
* BeeBee- make Brynnie happy

What is your mom not very good at?
* JBird- Sports facts
* TBone- getting me in trouble (when asked to clarify he says he does way more stuff that I never even know about..... this is a major problem.)
* BeeBee- make Jack & Tanner go to time out (I thought that was my #1 skill)

What does your mom do for her job?
* JBird- Mom
* TBone- watch Beebs
* BeeBee- clean up the everyfing

What is your mom's favorite food?
* JBird- Lean Cuisines
* TBone- pizza
* BeeBee- cereal (she nailed it)

What makes you proud of your mom?
* JBird- That she’s a good mom
* TBone- when she cooks a good dinner
* BeeBee- ‘cuz I like Jake! (???? she's crushin' on one of JBird's friends named Jake. Not sure what that has to do with me)

If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
* JBird- Judy Jetson
* TBone- Smurfette
* BeeBee- (doesn’t get the difference between cartoons and reality)

What do you and your mom do together?
* JBird- Watch American Idol
* TBone- make rolls
* BeeBee- read a book

How are you and your mom the same?
* JBird- Both like American Idol
* TBone- we both have yellow hair
* BeeBee- girl, girl

How are you and your mom different?
* JBird- I like Adam Lambert and she doesn’t
* TBone- she’s a girl and I’m a boy
* BeeBee- we’re the same (she might be on to something here...)



How do you know your mom loves you?
* JBird- she gives us food and clothes
* TBone- she gives me kisses all the time...which I like
* BeeBee- gives hugs

Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
* JBird- store
* TBone- Costco
*BeeBee- the food store


So there you go....

IN OTHER NEWS: Get Memzified Premiered Last Night!

Click HERE to listen. It was soooooooooo much fun. Have you wanted to know what Memzy has been thinking about American Idol? Ever wondered why Memz won't give up on Danny Gokey? Ever wanna know who Memz finds "hawt" and who she finds "nawt?" It's all there. You won't be sorry.

I've also gotten a teeny bit more technologically savvy in this whole process. If you're the type of person to subscribe to RSS Feeds here is the one for iLandee....

http://web.me.com/afbpodcast/AFB/iLandee/rss.xml

I've also added an RSS Feed link over there on my sidebar which will hopefully update whenever I add a pod I have casted. I'm still trying to figure out iTunes. It's taking forever for them to post the podcasts I submit but hopefully that will get faster later. For now I'm guessing that link is your best bet.

Again, Memzy + Podcast = TLA

Results Show: Double Whammy

1. I think there is something srsly wrong with me. I loved the dance number Pauler choreographed. How is this possible? I mean literally LOVED. Adam was the best dancer (duh) with Matt as a close second. Kris wasn't that great but that just made him seem more manly to me. The lip syncing was terrible, yes, but that was not what this numbah was about. It was about the moves.
   
2. Wow... ok... that was abrupt. Leel is outtie.
   
3. Quotes from the boys regarding:
4. Freda Payne: "Ew." "Do we really have to watch her?"
5. Thelma Houston: "What the?" "She looks crazy."
6. KC: "Who is this guy?" Me: "Tony Soprano"
7. Archuletta is back in the hizzy..... hmmmmm.... he reminded me of why I liked David Cook so much. His voice sounded weird, no? And it was pitchy. Indulgent nonsense, basically.
8. Awwwww maaaaaaan..... I know I haven't been too nice to Noopy lately but I was really sad to see him go tonight. When they were replaying his "journey on American Idol" I was reminded of all the fun moments he and I shared..... like when he was made the 13th finalist to make it a Final Baker's Dozen this year. And when Simon said he went from "zero to hero." I mean, does it get any better than that? No. It doesn't actually.
9. So our top 5 are Kris, Adam, Danny, Allison and Matt, huh? Poor Allison & Matt.... really, all they can do now is take bets to see who gets voted off first.
10. Click HERE to listen to Jespy & I's first podcast. The historic first episode of iLandee. Or it should be up on iTunes later (search under AFB) but I know some of you just can't wait. She delivered, you gize. Big time.

Friggin iTunes is Headache-Making

So Gty and I did our first podcast... a big kick-off show, if you will. And it was HUGE. Tons of fanfare, balloons, confetti.... the works. A local radio station parked their van out in front of our house and gave away free stuff. Truly amazing.

The problem is either a) I don't know how to get it on to iTunes or b) I don't know how to find it on iTunes. I've searched under every possible word I could think of to find it to no avail. Another possibility is that they have to "review" new podcasts (new meaning the first one ever sent from me) before they'll put it out there. I dunno. It's making me ca-ray-zee.

So, I've put the RSS Feed link over there to the right. You can listen to it from there for now. Or just click HERE. It's so obviously my first time putting together a podcast... and Gty and I sound like perfect strangers until about 5 minutes into the thing. Lollerz.

As for the name....just to clarify it is for MY show. Gty and I will most likely not do many podcasts together because, as he put it to me "You don't see Letterman going on Leno, do you?" Good point. Plus schedules are ridiculous to try and coordinate. As it was Gty & I had to Skype to record this one as he is in Utah.

Anyway, I'm leaning toward iLandee. It makes me giggle. It's short. It's easy to remember. Plus I could just use the iCarly theme song. "I know... you see... somehow the world will change for me... and be so wonderful."

Other ones I loved:

Blogging Live
SmartRemarks (but I can't afford it, you gize)
Lollerz
It's Like Seinfeld...But A Girl
Antiffithis
The Eagle Has Landee
Nerdcast (I'll use that one when Jespy is a guest)
Breakfast at Tiffanys
4realz
and Landcaster

All very good and I will definitely be using those and others from the suggestion pool on future podcasts.... like, maybe when YOU are on!

So, as of now, unless someone comes in and pulls a major corndog to overthrow iLandee, it looks like Jespy is slated to be the first guest. Email any questions or comments you may have for Jespy at afbpodcast at gmail.com. Twill be a glorious episode indeed.

********************EDIT*************************

Got an email from iTunes a minute ago saying our podcast has "been approved" (thank goodness!) and will be searchable on iTunes in the next "few hours."

But then it was nice enough to give me this iTunes link which took me to it and I could "subscribe."


http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=313459535

::sigh:: It's such a process this podcasting business....

AI: Disco Fever

Will the save have been all for not?

No little videos before they sing? That "stool talk" is awkward.

I like Ryan Seacrest more and more these days.

I like it when there are disco dances on SYTYCD, but not so much here on my beloved AI.

Little
"I'm Every Woman" Shaka Khan

Decent job singing, I guess. I just can't like her now. I'm too damaged. We've been through too much together for me to ever truly like her. I put her in a little box labeled "SUCKS" and I won't let her out no matter what she does. Did you see her mom yelling obscenities during the judges comments? I lollerzed. So that was good. And she finally played the perennial "I had fun" card. Bravo, Leel. Bravo.

Kris
"She Works Hard For the Money" Donna Summer

Holy freakin' cow. What is it about a man and a guitar that is so irresistable?? I loved it. And, of course, Flem is probably beside herself with the little latino flair he had kickin' with that arrangement. She sent me a text, and I quote, "K you win on kris he totally won my heart." She apparently threw all punctuation out the window she was so enthralled. I also got a text from Memzy that I won't share because her mom reads this but needless to say, she enjoyed him also. And Memzy.... fer duh!

Danny
"September" Earth, Wind & Fire

Dancy. Upbeat. Fun times. Finally NOT a lame song choice. He's fallen off my radar tho. The place in my heart where he used to live has grown cold. Danny, it's not you. It's me. You're the same Danny from the auditions. I'm the one that's changed. I need more excitement from my idols now. I'm not worried about you though. You still have plenty of ladies swooning over you. You'll be ok without me.

Allison
"Hot Stuff" Donna Summer

Are those pants breathable? I loved the arrangement. I thought she sounded great. The funniest part was at the end when singers usually do that cool thing where they lift up their arms as the band plays that last bit of garblygook there at the end of a song.... then the singer drops their arms and the band stops. Yeah, she did that but the band still had about 4 beats left to play. I lollerzed.

Adam
"If I Can't Have You" Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack

Lookin' good, Mr. Lambert. Lookin' very good. I thought his voice was amazing, of course, however, I suddenly felt like I was watching a Broadway musical. Like, they had just finished some big dialogue and then the lights go down and it's his solo time. I could totally see him singing this while walking around a girl or while looking at a girl off in the distance (or in his case, a cute boy). Broadway is awesome, no question, but it was just a little weird. However, I second Randy's extremely eloquent statement when he said "You have it majorly goin' on." He so does ::dramatic pause:: He so does. ::slow clap::

Matt
"Stayin Alive" BeeGees

Hat=good. Dancing=good. Singing=good. I think that if Matt would have done a fun and solid performance like this 4 weeks ago it would have put him in the race for the finals. But now, I just don't know if it's gonna do it for him. I thoroughly enjoyed it, for the record. Was it enough to get him through another week? THAT is the question.

Anoop
"Dim All The Lights" By Too Lazy to Look it Up and They Didn't Mention

Scruffy beard, eyebrow waxing, pink sweater vest.... I'm starting to think Adam may not have the gay vote cornered. As far as performance goes, I've already forgotten what it sounded like and I just stopped watching 10 minutes ago. That can't be a good sign.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Little & Anoop

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Little & Anoop

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Kris

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Little because I can't bring myself to put Anoop

The AFB: Welcome to the Big Time

So Gty and I are going rogue and starting our own "podcast network." I will still keep doing the AI stuff with Beanmon (or his Indian name "Sits With A Guitar") until he gets rid of me due to conflicting interests but ever since he gave us the idea we've been dying to try it on our own.

We can't stop talking about the endless possibilities, guests and fun we would have. All of you who are reading this can go ahead and consider yourself a future guest on my show, by the way. Unless I call you specifically to tell you you will NEVER be a guest, you best be preparing some material.

My problem is that I can't quite come up with a name for my show. Gty was like "Just call it The Landee Hour" and I was like "No, that's lame."

So I am proposing a bit of a contest here.... whoever names my show gets to be my first guest! And yes, I get to pick which one is the best name cuz it's MY show, duh. Just so you know where I'm coming from I was kind of thinking of calling it The Girlie Show (ala 30Rock). You're gonna need to top that or else I'll be my own first guest.

The email for our new network is: afbpodcast at gmail dot com.


Email any subjects you want my guests and I to cover, any reactions to things we said, etc. You know, just like you'd email Imus or something. Cuz I'll be pretty much like Imus, without the racist comments and crotchity attitude. It would be fun to read emails on air & discuss.

Gty and I will be doing our inaugural podcast tonight and then I'll let you know how to search for it and stuff in iTunes.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves here.... your first item of business is to name my show.

Go.

My Pollyanna is Showing

Dear Colorado,

I'm such a positive, look-on-the-bright-side type person I just can't help it.

So yesterday's storm didn't turn out to be so bad.

Yes, it snowed all day.
Yes, it was unexpected.
Yes, it was APRIL.
Yes, I ate like a pig.

But there were some good things that came out of this. Some very good things.

1) These two

had fun bonding out in the snow. They trudged around the backyard, made snowballs, caught snowflakes on their tongues, made snow angels and had a grand ole' time.



TBone took care of the satellite dish problem all on his own (thank goodness it wasn't up on the roof).

Gty braved the storm to go get me some Dr.P, btw. Just in case you were worried about me/my sanity. He knows when he is needed and he steps up to the plate. Oooooooor, he didn't want to have to deal with me detoxing while we are all cooped up in the house. Regardless of his motivation he saved the day.

Also, JBird's baseball game was, obviously, canceled. I like watching his game but I also like them being canceled. Can't explain it.

We popped popcorn and watched TV/snuggled on the couch/read/did puzzles. I loved knowing we were goin' no where and no neighbor kids were going to come over and want to play.

Adult session of stake conference was canceled Saturday night. ::ahem::

It was Saturday anyway. It wasn't like they canceled SCHOOL or anything. That woulda been tragic.

And the best part???

Here is the only clothing required to shovel snow today after Stake Conference....

It was gorgeous today! You really stepped it up!! It's supposed to be high 60s tomorrow and creeping up and up until finally it'll be low 80s on Thursday. You certainly like to keep things exciting and spicy, don't you?

TBone wasted no time (changing into appropriate clothes) after church to throw his boots on and get to work.

But then it became more about building a dam in the gutter/raging river with the snow rather than actually getting the snow off the driveway.



They played out there for hours. TBone actually has a sunburn now.

So I apologize, Colorado. I know now that sometimes you know best. I'm sure our grass will be greener now because of this last bit of precipitation. And I would have had ZERO pics of the kids playing in the snow this year had it not been for this sweet surprise.

I will never doubt you again.

Lovingly Yours 'Til The Day I Die,

Landee

Colorado, You Have Failed Me

Dear Colorado,

Hi. How are you? I'm not good, thanks for asking. One quick question.... how dare you? Do you think it's January? Cuz it's not. It's April freaking 18th. This is unacceptable. That's right. I do not accept this foot of snow you have dumped on us. How am I ever gonna get Jespy to move here if you continue to do dumb things like this?

Garret was supposed to fly in last night, he called me about the time he should be arriving and said "Hey... we just landed." Me "Wow! I was thinking you'd have problems because of the snow!" Him "Well, we just landed in Salt Lake." They flew half way here, turned around and went back. Luckily for you, Colorado, the Denver Airport opened back up and Gty finally arrived at home around 11:30pm. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but he's only here until Monday morning when he will fly out again. If you had made it so he couldn't have come home at all this weekend you may as well have just called CPS because there were going to be major problems with me being here alone with the kids for 2 weeks straight (see previous post). Just having him here even for two days will help me enjoy the "sweet spot" more.

I guess the most frustrating part is that I am constantly talking you up, CO. I say nothing but nice things about you. It's as if you are bound and determined to make a liar out of me. Not to mention that I haven't been to the grocery store in formyever and am down to 4 Dr. Peppers with no way to get to Sonic or the store (also see previous post--- it's like I jinxed myself). Also, the satellite dish isn't working due to your weather and Tbone is grounded from the Wii.... you do the math here. Plus being cooped up in the house gives me the munchies. The situation is grim.

So, thanks for nothing.

Worst Regards,

Landee

Landee Gets Real

I know what you're thinking. "Oh, Landee... you don't have any trials. You don't struggle. Your biggest worry in life is that you'll run out of Dr. Pepper and won't be able to make it to the store until the next day." While that is a worry of mine, it's not my only worry. And while my struggles in life pale in comparison to other people's trials, I still have my fair share.

The biggest trial I've had would be my inability to have children "unassisted." I'm talking about doctors assisting me here... not Gty. It took a few years after being married to discover why, after going off the pill after 8 months of marriage, I was still unpreggers. In those childless years I had a lot of sad moments. I hope we made the most of them but I cried a lot more than I probably should have. On the up side, I was able to work full time while Gty was going through grad school and we incurred very little debt (comparatively speaking).

Cut to this week where my trial has been this kid (yes, one of the very kids I used to cry about not having!).

This week has been a lot of this kind of stuff.... except imagine me with a much meaner face, whispering/yelling threats and punishments he is going to receive when we get home and maybe even me pinching his arm. Hard.

He's on my list.

It started out with him refusing to listen, continued with him punching his brother and relentlessly teasing his sister, and peaked last night when he over flowed the toilet by using an insane amount of toilet paper. He had tried to "fix" the problem by flushing again.... and again.... and again. After surveying the scene I could see he had tried to fish out some of the TP and put it into the nearby garbage can. Disgusting. I was already so done with him at this point so it was very ungood. I admit it was not my best parenting moment.

Now, this morning, after a good night's sleep, some exercise and TBone having been at school for the past few hours I am thinking clearer. I can now imagine him in the bathroom in a complete panic as he sees the toilet filling up more and more and more. He tries all his best problem solving skills to no avail and finally comes to tell me only to see me explode. It's not his fault I have no patience and wasn't in the mood to deal with poo water all over my floor.

So here's the thing.... I've been thinking a lot this past week about how really, I'm in the "sweet spot" as far as parenting goes. I have no babies (who Flem reminds me every day are a LOT of WORK) and I have no teenagers to worry about.

Right now:

• My kids like hanging out with me.
• They love doing family activities.
• They long for my attention.
• They confide in me.
• They still think Gty and I are fairly funny/cool people.
• I control their schedules.
• They can be easily influenced by chore chart points and promises of ice cream as motivation.
• They still love getting hugs and kisses from their mom.

I'm not dumb enough to think that this will last forever. I realize that my time in this "sweet spot" is limited. In a few short years JBird will become a teenager, TBone will soon follow and then.... ::breathing deep:: Beebs. They might be fun years too, but they also might not be. Time will tell.

What I know right now is that THESE are definitely fun years. There are moments of frustration and worry but over all my kids are cute, loving, adorable and funny.

What I need to do right now is decide to enjoy them. Rubber-gloves-required clean-ups or not.

Easier said than done. I know.

AI Results Show: What The?

BeeBee woke up with this crazy hair this morning as a fore-warning of what was going to occur on tonight's Results Show.

WHA???

That save was obviously burning a hole in the judges' pockets.

I'm not sure Matt deserved it, but it did make for some pleasant drama. I was genuinely happy for him all the while knowing he'd just be off next week. They didn't save his forehead friend tho. That's gonna be awkward.

JHud looks good. She's worked it out.

Miley Cyrus is TERRIBLE. If you remember I had the misfortune of paying $50/ticket to see her at Stadium of Fire last summer. She's Landee Enemy No.1. Extremely nasaly. Couldn't even see her through all the smoke. She dances like ToddlerDancer.

I told you Simon would have loved Kris' performance. TOLD YOU. ::eyeing Flemmy::

When Little started singing in the groovy ensemble performance of "Maniac" Tbone points to her and goes "She sounds just like LaShauna on Total Drama Island!" We obviously need some diversity around here.

I was glad LilRed wasn't in the bottom three this week..... I found this video with her singing an original song and I've realized I've got her pegged all wrong. I have been judging her based on these lame themes she has to conform to each week. I actually think I would like a future album she might put out.... kind of a mix between Kelly Clarkson and Pink. Also, I think her unnatural hair has been off-putting to me. I think she looks great here with a nice normal brown do. Take a listen:

AI: Movie Songs

Thank goodness we have the musical guru Quentin Tarantino to give these gize some advice this week, eh? W/e. Stop telling everyone to dirty up their songs Q.

There's a time constraint so we only hear from two judges??? That'd be fine if every time one of the judges was Simon. Hey, AI, here's an idea.... how about cutting out all the indulgent rubbish at the beginning of the show like dimmed lights, judges intros and a 5 minute piece on Quentin's movies? Mmkay? So dumb.

Is that Katie Couric I see there with her bad hair? And I mean bad. She makes the chica from Jon & Kate Plus 8 look good.

ALLISON
"I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" Aerosmith

Good singing. Bad outfit. Lollerz that Simon said she was the only chance left for the girls. Ouch to Little. Way ouchie. I still am not a huge fan of Red, but she was deeseplus.

ANOOP
"Everything I Do" Bryan Adams

This is when I realized Q was gonna be useless. He wanted Anoop to do what? Make the song more rough? Move his arm in some Popeye motion? Q. Zip it. Stick to your violent movies and leave the AI contestants alone. Luckily Noopy didn't take Q's advice and was smooth like buttah. Not his best, but I enjoyed it. Also, anyone else think Anoop looks like Ray Ramano? Thought so.

ADAM
"Born To Be Wild" from Easy Rider

Here is the Adam I love to hate. But apparently, according to Pauler, he "dares to dance on the path to greatness." ::crickets chirping:: Uh.... thanks? Bottom line is Adam can sing. However, that song is annoying and his performance could not have been more over-the-top dramatic nonsense. I was not diggin' it. He still gets me with his subdued performaces tho. I am watching his "Tracks of My Tears" on my phone right now to remind me that he can be better. Love it.

MATT
"Have You Ever Loved A Woman" Bryan Adams

Matt and his little forehead friend were back in action this week. Ungood. Too much variation on the melody. Plus I'm comparing him to Daughtry's performance of that same song which I watched no less than 100 times... by myself... often in the dark..... He really couldn't compete. But, even still, probably one of his worst performances to date. Oh, and wear a hat, Matt.

DANNY
"Endless Love" from Endless Love

Interesting look he's got going on there with no glasses. I kinda liked it. Probably the worst song in history though. I cannot get over how much I have hated all of his song choices. Such bad crapola. He did finally kinda mention his wife there at the end by subtly looking up to the heavens on his last note. I've said it before... Danny is smart. He does that look up thingy, Simon mentions it being an emotional song for him, those not "in the know" now wanna be "in the know" and are gonna do some research on his situation. Danny gets to play the widower card without actually having to say anything. Brilliant. My hat that Matt should have worn is off to you, Danny Gokey. Well played.

KRIS
"Falling Slowly" from Once

Bawling. Bawling like a baby!!! LOVE that song. Love his tender performance. No guitar to hide behind this time. Just him, out there, singing an amazing song. Best of the night. This also revealed Randy's ineptitude. Hey Randy, you know what is pitchy? You know what I'M not feelin'? That ugly cardigan you're wearing, Dawg. Shutty. For once Kara had something to contribute. This performance was the one that really made me mad about the Simon-not-commenting-every-time thing. I would have loved to hear what he had to say.

LITTLE
"The Rose" Bette Midler

Worst song ever. Worst adaptation of worst song ever. Worst attitude problem after worst adaptation of the worst song ever. Worst outfit ever (it disguised her backside too much which is the only reason I endure her performances). Booooooo, Little. Booooooo.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Little

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Little

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Kris
(I've watched it 15 times already)

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Little
(for the 2nd week in a row)

Easter: Summed Up In A Few Words

Decorating Easter Eggs

The Fruits of Our Labors


Easter Morning (someone is obsessed with Smurfs right now)


Bossy BB made me take this "wif her Smurfette."

New Easter Clothes
(it was raining outside. I'll retake these later outside on a nice day & pretend it was Easter)

And the Oscar goes to....

The Landerson Family!!!

That's right... you gize have to start saying "Academy Award Winner Landeelu Landerson" when discussing me from now on.

Don't believe me?

Check this bad boy out...



Yeah. That's right. It's real.

And it was this little baby that won it for us.




The boys were beyond excited about getting a little golden man.

There was a little technical glitch (the sound wasn't matching up with the footage) when they showed it the first time. People then felt sorry for us. Then they showed it again at the end of the night (in its perfected form).

Formula for success:

Pity + seeing it twice = Best Musical Performance Oscar at Ward Video Night

Results Show: Pity Me No More

I need a new pic for my phone wallpaper now.

First of all, I watched the show at Stands house. She made the most delicious of all delicious lasagnas which I proceeded to stuff myself with. The BEST garlic bread (she used a RECIPE for the garlic bread, you gize... it was so dang good). And then I stuffed myself into a painful state eating two pieces of strawberry whip cream topped angel food cake (which was now store bought after THIS INCIDENT-- lollerz). So so so good. I was in a merry mood, as you can imagine.

Then a major harshing of my mellow, the ensemble number. Um.... they need to go back to lip syncing. They sounded TERRIBLE. Abysmal. And uttah mess. The only thing that might have been a worse performance tonight was Kelly Pickler. Yikes she sounded bad.

Flo Rida was fun but his change of the lyrics to one of my favorite BYU dances songs had me blushing in mixed company. This is a family show, AI.

Bottom Three: Anoop (saddy face), Lil (way happy face), Blindy (happiest face evah).

I was glad that a) my wishful thinking paid off (The Secret works, you gize! Just like Oprah said!) and b) no more of that hair. Wow. It was so bad tonight. Worse than ever. It looked way better at his audition. That stylist needs to be fired.

You wanna know who the happiest people are tonight tho?

The choreographers of the ensemble numbers and the directors of the Ford commercials.

PS Which two judges do you think wanted to keep Blindy?

AI: Songs from the Year They Were Born

I'm so ooooooold.

Baaaaad time management, American Idol! How dare you go over your allotted time! In this day and age of Tivo you simply can not do that. Just ask Jenny.

I'm tired after my whirlwind trip to Boise. Sorry if this is lamer than usual.


Danny (1980): You know how you get a new toy and you love it and then you get sick of it 5 minutes later? That is what has happened with me & RDJ. He's lost his luster. He no longer makes me smile. I think I'm gonna break up with him.

Kris (1985): He wanted to be a taxi driver? Interesting. Why must these gize go out into the audience? I swear.... so annoying. I need someone to give me ONE GOOD REASON why they should do this. It does nothing but make all of us at home go "huh?" That being said, I thought he sounded quite Jamiroquai-ish tonight. I liked it.

Little (1984): SOOOOOOOOOOOO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME. Gag. Boring. Yuck. That dress was awesome for the ole bum shots though. It did the opposite of disguise it which can only be good.

Anoop (1986): Mmmmm.... Anoop. He was beautiful.... like a raaaainboooow. Loved it. Loved the R&B/soul spin he put on this 80s song. But I worry about Anup (as his cute parents call him). Can he do an uptempo song without looking like a doof? Can he? Love the slow ballads tho.

Blindy (1985): Terrible. Awful. Indulgent nonsense (plz say that in an english accent). The guitar was a prop. I wish the hair were a prop but I'm afraid it's here to stay. Terrible. Awful.

Allison (1992): She was smart to do a slow song this week. She needed to show this side of her. Plus I love that song. Not sure why. Always have. And I totally agree with Simon. She's not likable. I don't know what she could do to change that but it's the truth. Randy comparing her to Kelly Clarkson? C'mon. Be srs.

Matt (1985): After that embarassing angel video I have no idea how he managed to go out there and sing but he did. Another Jamiroquai-esque performance comin' atcha. I was worried when he wasn't doing the piano thing (which is one of the things I like most about him) but I liked it. Plus with that hat it covered up his little forehead friend. I want a "The Giraud Squad" t-shirt for my b-day, btw. One of you, make it happen.

Adam (1982): My suggestion to Adam is if the word "tears" is in either the name of the song or the name of the band, he should sing that song. Haunting. I love the subdued Adam. However, my favorite part was during his little video thingy when his mom was saying "Adam was interested in everything... books, singing, art..." and then his dad goes "but sports...not-so-much." Lollerz. So stereotypical.

WHO I THINK WILL BE GONE:
Blindy
(wishful thinking)

WHO I THINK DESERVES TO BE GONE:
Little

BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Adam/Anoop tie

WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT:
Little

How Texters Hang Out

FFF: Skype Me, Dine Me...

Look what I got to do for like, an hour last night.... and had done for like, a half an hour earlier in the day....

That's right. Flem and I Skype our little hearts out. It was awesome. It was like she came over and we hung out for a while. Srsly.

Will all you people please get Skype accounts and let me know your user name? This is a must do with everyone. I'm landeelu, duh.

Loved it.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with me, Flem... even though you were IMing with other people while we chatted.

I'm OK with that.


PS I recorded part of our convo and if I can figure out what I'm doing I might try and publish it to iTunes. It's gold.

Results: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Have they always lip synced the ensemble performances? Like, in years past? Why is it so glaringly obvious to me now? These people can actually sing (Megan aside) right? Why not just have them sing?

Did anyone else like Matt's impersonation of Danny from the clip and then get really uncomfortable as they kept doing them on the stage?

Has David Cook always squished his nose onto the mic when he sings? Was that his mom they kept showing in the audience? Why?

Do you remember when Taylor Hicks, Fantasia and Reuben all got their platinum records after three months? Me neither.

Was anyone surprised by the bottom three of Tat, TrollDoll and Anoop? Didn't think so.

Has Megan already had a nervous breakdown or is she just close to one? That was arm flapping I saw as she cawed her way over to the bottom three stools, right?

Could Lady Gaga be any creepier? What is that.... a zipper eye? An acrylic bubble filled piano? A metal shawl? How can this economy support such a singer?

Is anyone else slightly surprised at the melancholy they feel now that Megan is officially off?

Did you fast forward through her "swan song" too though?



Answers to any of these questions would be greatly appreciated.

Troll Dizzle

Told ya....




.... spittin' image.