Monday, September 8, 2008

And the winner is....

::drum roll please:::

Nobody.

Well, nobody got it RIGHT on the nose but Memzy was the closest. We caught one more after my last update making it a grand total of 15. Ugh. Memzy guessed 16 which I guess entitles her to the "prize" Jenny promised to send.

Congratulations!

The last couple have been little babies so we think they are now wondering where their moms/all the dog food went and have ventured out only to be struck by the cruel world that is our basement.

This leads me to some lessons I've learned from these meeses who have plagued me so. Because, really, if I've learned nothing, then what is the point?

1) Be content with what you have & live within your means. If these mice hadn't have gotten so greedy they may have been able to live happily in the basement for many more years (or at least until we finished the basement). But no, they had to hoard every last piece of dog food they could get their hands on and stuff it all in one place. Eventually their greed caught up with them causing their "downfall" and exposing them for what they really are. If they would have simply eaten what they needed & spent more time serving others they would have been a lot better off.

2) If something looks too good to be true, it probably is. Wha? A cozy little black house that has a little dish of peanut butter in it? Where do I sign up? ::SNAP:: This reminds me of a couple in our ward out in NY. They were the most gorgeous couple I had ever seen. They looked like Ken & Barbie. They had moved out there so he could go to medical school. So yeah, they'd be rich too. One day after church I noticed he had a "I (heart) MY WIFE" bumper sticker on his car. I pouted to Gty that he would never put a sticker like that on his car. He agreed that he wouldn't. I lamented how lucky she was. Cut to a few months later. I learn that he is physically & verbally abusive to her. Oh, and wait, when he said he was going to medical school, he was really just going to Barnes & Noble and reading magazines all day. They got the big D a few months later. See? Too good to be true. Dumb mice.

3) If you don't teach, provide for & protect your kids, they'll fall into the "trappings" (get it?) of the real world. Obviously the parents didn't know how traps worked so how could they teach their kids? Then, when the food stopped coming the kids were forced to go out on their own and, well, we all know what happened then.

4) When life seems too hard, don't drown yourself in Maggie's water dish. 'Cuz that was seriously just gross. If you want to take a hot bath and do a little "Calgon... take me away!" action then fine. Just make sure someone else knows where you are so they can check on you. I suggest bath salts & a good book too.

****EDIT******

I thought of one more.

5) If you have a small problem, get it taken care of before it becomes a HUGE problem. As I said before, I had seen the signs of mice down there before. But in my denial I did not think it was that big of a deal. I certainly wasn't guessing they were following the commandments better than me by building up a year's supply of food & multiplying and replenishing the earth like crazy! This lesson can be applied to relationships, bad habits, addictions etc. Take care of it early before it ends up ruining your life. Dang... I am so deep sometimes I astound even myself.

Feel free to quote me in your next Sacrament Meeting talk.

13 comments:

Amy Thurston said...

I would quote you, but I have vowed to never give another talk again. I WILL be quoting you in my book though.
Memzy, enjoy the loaf. Although, I'm not so sure the counting is done...

Keeping Up with the Joneses said...

Once again you put a smile on my "good grief is it Monday again ?" face ! Thanks so much !

quesetescapa said...

My favorite line "too good to be true."

This was a hilarious post and full of gems on how to live life bettah.

This is why I am getting a bumper sticker that says I (heart) Tiff.

Memzy said...

Life's little lessons just keep on giving. I predict that my prediction will be accurate. I so rawk the world of meese guessing. When do I get my loaf?

Jenny said...

Thanks for the laugh. I can just picture the little mice "spend[ing] more time serving others." Heehee. :)

Landee said...

The counting may not be DONE done, but it is getting close. At most we'll have one or two more. Either way, Memzy wins cuz the next rude person guessed 27. We haven't caught any in three days so it's lookin' good.

LeeAnn, due to demand, those bumper stickers are on back order. We hope to get more in by Christmas though.

Jenny, right? Making and taking little dog food cakes over to another herd of mice that live in the ghetto (aka, by the defunct dryer)? I can totally see it.

ajesplin said...

You learned one thing (an afterthought), and the mice learned four things. I guess since they're dead, they learned more than you.

I thought of another one:
"Don't count your dead mouse bodies before they hatch." You know that scene at the beginning of Ratatouille when the old lady is shooting at the two mice with her shot gun, and then the ceiling caves in, and there are millions of mice? She thought there were only two.

Memzy--watch your mailbox for a loaf size package.

Landee said...

Um, NO.... you're supposed to take the lessons the mice SHOULD have learned and apply them to your own life. You know, kinda like the scriptures.

I'm counting the corpses because I can FEEL that they are (pretty much) gone. I am even back to reaching under the couch to get fruit snack wrappers out without even looking first. Baby steps.

Amy Thurston said...

I would continue to do the whole stepping on the shoe before you put them on though. You can't be too cautious.

ajesplin said...

I see. And when you say "FEEL" do you mean like the Holy Ghost or something?

::sending the loaf to Memzy straight away::

Landee said...

Thanks for the tip, Amy.

And yes, Vegas, exactly like the HG. I'm extremely in tune.

Cristin said...

WOW you are deep. I agree with Amy, I doubt your done. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but we thought the same thing and well....

Memzy said...

^^Oh no she di-int.