Friday, March 12, 2010

AI: Texting Entertainment

Markie made a comment that he wished he could have seen the texts that were flying around during the results show.  This made me start thinking about the texts I received and I started giggling.  They're funny.  And I didn't want to deprive you, my reader, of such things.   Here is a sampling of texts I have received this past week during the shows. The names have been with held because I didn't get their permission first.  It's like when they blur out people's faces on those reality shows & stuff.  Betcha can't figure out who is who either.

Girls Night

J (regarding Alz): Hate her facial expressions.  It's so facebook profile pic.  She tried to cut her own bangs.

S: Too bad she sucked.  If Paige was my daughter, I wouldn't vote for her after that performance but I would give her a coloring book full of hippos.

Boys Night

A: Casey tonight.  Yummm. Eeeee.

J: Kara is saying stupid textbook critique bs.  "The only thing standing in your way... is you." <-- chills

J (re: LuckyDuck): Love this song too.  Good job boys.
Me: Now I'm back to hoping he's Mormon.
J: Yes.  And this song is super hard to sing.  I can't even kinda sing it.
Me: I can sing it perfectly so....
J: No you can't.  You butchered the spider web song.
Me: I hadn't done my throat spray before spiders web.
J: Yeah, maybe I should look in a box before I sing hallelujah.

J: Kara is a dummyface.

Results Show
Me: I don't think Crystal smiled once the whole show.  What's up her butt? (besides diabetes)
S: She's just a B.  No biggie.  That is why I dont like her and I dont vote for her.  I miss Mullet already.
Me: He broke my heart tonight.  So weepy.  Couldn't even hold his last note.  I would have cried for him if my heart wasn't made of stone.
S: My heart was made of ice until I heard him sing for the first time.  He melted it.  He replaced Jacob in my heart and made me only dislike mullets.
Me: Bullcrap.  Jacob can't be replaced.  PS wasn't that excited about the eclipse trailer.  What's wrong with me?
S: Nothing.  You are a healthy, red blooded American woman with needs.  We are all excited about Eclipse.  Are we watching it together?
Me: I said I WASN'T excited.
S: Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?! I guess you are a freaky, cold blooded Iraquian woman.

J: Crystal! What a drama B! Srsly.  Crakc a frickin smile.  Makes her seem unappreciative.
Me: I know!  She's extremely unlikable.  Bugs me.
J: She WANTS to act unhappy.  Like a martyr.  I hate that attitude.
J: Oh crap.  Aaron needs to go!!!
J: Freak and A!!!!
J: I no want Alex to go!!!
J: Noooooo!!!!!!! So mad!!!!!!!!!! Andy shoulda gonerz!!!!!
Me: That was like Sophie's choice there.  No right answer.
J: I srsly have no reason to watch this show now.  It's bloody mary's fault.
J: I'm angry and bitter now.  I don't even care who goes home, who wins, whateve.  No reason to live or watch AI.

J: How'd you end up with 0 points???!? Hahahah!! You're supposed to be good at this!
Me: It's cuz this show is a crap shoot. I was 3/4 last week.  Son of a...
J: But 0? That's funny, you must admit.
Me: Hilarious.  You got one.  Congrats.
J: ::going from huge grin to straight face::

Me: Congrats on your 50%.  Still an F tho.
K: how much better is that than a zero% tho? plus as the best part mullet.  buh bye suckah!
Me: I'm still in shock.  Sara and Jenny wanna commit suey over it fhs.  0% is like I didn't even take the class.  Not on my permanent record.
K: Amy and I tied for smartest.  I kinda saw that coming.  Lilly shocked the freakin crap outta me.  i bet i lose chunks of hair.
Me: Sara got 2 as well.  She was a late voter.  It shocked her too.  She looked like a B/sore loser.  I'm glad she's gone now.
K: Me three.  and crystal was buggin.  she BETTER be sick.
Me: She didn't smile once!
K: and no congrats hugs.  and no reaction on her face at all when he said she was safe!  wha...tha...hail.

Now, isn't it amazing that I can text all this AND keep impeccable notes in my spiral animal print notebook?  Being an AI connoisseur requires some serious multi-tasking.  I feel like a Lucky Duck myself to have such hilarious people in my life.  Who also have unlimited texting.


eekareek said...

Awww, you need to do that more often. I can totally tell who is who, btw. Way to keep people's identity a secret. It reminds me of the one year my parents put out the X-Mas gift early and instead of using our names, they used our social security numbers. Not the best idea and what if someone broke into our house. Not only would our presents get stolen but so would our identities. I love reading all the peoples negative comments about W.D.. I hope she reads this and decides to smile. Sorry, Stands but I'm just sayin'...

Flem said...

Flem: I wish I could keep up with the season. Can you make donations to a cable TV account on my behalf?

Kim said...

We should chip in for cable TV for your iPhone Flemmy!

I couldn't figure out who K, J, or A was but I bet S was Eek. It just makes sense. and I bet "me" was Michelangelo.

Good stuff. Comedy gold. You are blessed to have such hilarity surrounding you at all times via the interweb machines and cell towers yet far enough away you don't have to hang out with us IRL.

Flem said...

Oh and FYI I had to reread the last several posts and watch the show (thank you to AT&T for finally broadcasting high quality vids on youtube for the po' folk) and you are just brilliant. Brill. I. Ant.

Memzy said...

Texting is fun. Too bad I don't do enough of it. I think my texting fingers are losing their muscle tone!

Markie23 said...

THANKEEEE!! I knew I was missing a lot. This season sux, but the texting, blog posts, predictions, and smack talk is golden!

Jenny ESP said...

I will expect you to post an AI text recap and review each week. Sara's Iraquian woman text about killed me, as you know, since I told you via text.